Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Summer Days.......

Ingredients for a summer day past time................  Find some wheels from a broken airplane and make roads in the sand.

The roads are worked carefully.  A zen garden for Hot Wheel cars.

The gardener looks off in the distance as he hears other children in the neighborhood playing and laughing.

And then goes back to work diligently using his hand much like a bulldozer.  Moving sand along to form mountain roads and passes.  It helps to have your tongue hanging out in the opposite direction that you are moving your hand.  Leverage.

A sand storm........ it covers the unsuspecting cars where they stay buried until the little gardener comes back and unearths them another day........

Saturday, July 28, 2012


I've started training again.  I've made the goal to run the full marathon next year.  I have two things right now that I just love and have to do a plug for.

I like to listen to music while I run and in the past, I've tried several different ear buds only to be frustrated because apparently my ears aren't made like everyone else's?  Why do all of the ear buds fall out of my ears as I trounce along?

Not anymore!  I'm not even sure how I found these puppies but I'm thrilled that I did because I've not had any problems since!

Yurbuds.  They look weird.  I'm weird and apparently so are my ears so we get along just dandy great.  They don't fall out of my ears and they are comfortable.  Other ear buds I'd jam into my ears so hard trying to get them to stay my ears would hurt.  Love these!!!  I got mine from Amazon.

My next love is one of these puppies:

It's a hydration belt that doesn't slip while I run and even though I am carrying water on my hips (no comment on what all I'm carrying on my hips please.........) it is not heavy or uncomfortable.  The water bottles you squirt, I don't have to suck the water out which for me is great.  I'm already out of air.  It has several other little nifty things but just having a belt that doesn't slide or move around on my hips is pretty much right up there with chocolate ice cream with chunks of brownie in it covered in hot fudge and..........
This is why I must run.  I crave things that add more than water to my hips.

Before the 1/2 marathon I did a bit ago, my friend Natalie and I found these belts.  I'm ready to get another one.  This one I like for long training runs.  Natalie has one that is for race day or shorter runs that doesn't have water bottles.  You can attach water bottles to it if you want but I like the slimness of it for packing your phone or what have you, maybe some chapstick, some runners goo stuff......

You can find these belts on the iFitness website here.

Thursday, July 26, 2012


Today I am going to spew forth a mothers wrath of venting.  It's gonna get ugly because it IS ugly.

Yesterday I went and got the mail.  I flipped through it like I normally do.  A particular piece of mail caught my eye.  It had girls on the front and the back dressed up in sweats with college names on the clothing.  The thing that caught my eye was how they were posed.  Not your typical college attire poses.  They were seductive.  My thoughts ran along the lines of how irritated I am that today, to sell anything, it has to elude to sex and the use of women degrading them in the process.

My oldest, because he is in college now has for a year been getting tons of mail from colleges all around the country.  The fact that he should get a piece of mail stating how fun it is to show your school spirit by wearing school apparel isn't out of the ordinary.  I wear clothing with the local universities name printed all over it.  It's fun!

I opened the outer pages that had been gummed together to see what was inside and was floored.  I was mad.  I was angry.  I was a mom who was holding evil in her hands.  Misleading, manipulative, pure evil.

I opened the flyer to find not more pictures/ads of college apparel but photos of porn.  Yes, Victoria's Secret. I consider your photos of women to be porn.

The photos inside had nothing to do with college apparel obviously as there was hardly any apparel!  I am so angry at the deception.  How dare you send my son something so obviously cloaked and with the intent to deceive.

You want to sell lingerie?  Fine!  Do it with integrity.

Before people get on their high horses, I have no problem with Victoria's Secret selling what they do.  I buy their stuff.  I'm sitting right now typing this wearing their pajamas!  I don't have anything against their products, it's their advertising I'm going off on and yes, I know.  Because I buy their products I am putting money back into what I am venting about.........  I get it!!!  I'm still gonna vent though........  

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


This is how I roll.  I see a task that needs doing.  I walk to the kitchen to say, do the dishes....... I see a bunch of dirty socks on the way so I grab them and go into the laundry room to put them in the wash and as I am walking to the laundry room one of The Native's needs my help with something so I put down the socks and walk over to help them and when I'm done I notice a some books on the bookshelf that are turned backwards or just thrown haphazardly on the shelf so I start to straighten them and notice a book that I love so pull it out and start to flip through it's pages and get lost for a bit and then the phone rings so I put the book down and meander to the phone and take care of what ever that person needed (and who am I kidding, I don't answer my phone do I?) and then I see the mail has arrived so I go out to get the mail and on my way back from the mailbox as I am dropping it all in the trash because we all know most mail is trash I notice some weeds in my flower beds and I start to pull weeds and then it starts to get hot so I want a drink of water so I walk into my kitchen and stare at it wondering why the dishes aren't done because didn't I start to do them hours ago earlier in the day?

Yes, I meant for that to be a run on sentence because that is how my day is.  Run on.

As my dear friend Jody pointed out, a few posts ago I asked you where I was visiting with my family and then I saw some dirty socks that needed to be thrown in the laundry room and as I was walking to the laundry room I..............

So, days later I am grateful for Jody yanking me back to the task at hand.  :D

We went to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and to Zion's National Park here in Utah for a week.

Phew!  Now that I've answered your question I need to head back into the kitchen because the dishwasher still remains open where I left it a bit ago and somehow dishes aren't magically entering it without my help!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Now Back To The Original Conversation

Before Levi went down and my emotional fall out we were talking about our vacation and hiking on these amazing rocks and canyons.

These look like a stack of pancakes to me.  With broccoli on top.  I hear in some countries that that is a delicacy.  I prefer syrup and whip cream.

This is what hiking in 112 degrees looks like.

A balloon always makes 112 degrees better and more tolerable.  Who in their right mind hikes in 112 degree weather????

I'd like my stack of pancakes with a Mr. C on top please?  Or maybe they are chocolate scoops of icecream!  Mmmm, we could have used some icecream about then.

What amazed me was how some of the mountains were this smooth almost lava looking flowy rock and then the mountain right next to it would be all rough and jagged.

Like this!  Anyone see a rainbow?  If I were a better photographer you would have no problem seeing the rainbow in the rock with all of the different colors in the arch but I'm not so use your imagination.  While you're at it, you can imagine leprechauns dancing under the arch and unicorns hiding in the broccoli.  I mean, scrub oak.

Amazing what wind and rain can do to rock.

When it is 112 degrees out and you come across some water falling from the rocks up above, you dunk your  head in it.  Then you realize you're wearing a white blouse so you dunk only the back of yourself because one must be modest so that later in the day you can undo every ounce of modesty you've tried to maintain by falling into a river completely soaking yourself.

If this should happen to you, stay in the water submerged up to your neck and while laughing, tell everyone to stay away.  Call your oldest son over and make his strip off his t-shirt.  Then, try to take off your blouse as you continue to try to stay submerged under water only to get caught in another current which continues to sweep you downstream while you're topless sending you right into the path of other hikers who are cooling off in the same river.

Not that this happened to me, I'm just saying......... if you ever get caught in this sort of a situation.... is all I'm saying.......  just trying to be helpful here.

How do they grow up so fast?  Someone please make the wringing of my heart stop!  My womb feels shriveled.........

Oh blessed cooling water!  Apparently earlier in the year this is a roaring waterfall.  When we saw it, it was just a tinkle.

I love the bond these two have............  Mr. J has his own bed.  Every morning I find that Mr. J has crawled into Mr. M's bed.  Yesterday when I went to wake them up I found them a tangled mess.  Couldn't tell arms from legs from whose was whose.  Their lives meshed and running/tumbling together much like the rocks and sands in this photo.

Monday, July 23, 2012

All Is Well

Levi is up.
Levi is talking.
Levi is carrying around a pack of gum.
Levi is back.

I had a thought yesterday while I was in church.  We are taught that if we are prepared, we shall not fear.  In the past, I've had peace of mind.  I'm not saying it has been easy.  I've written before about the many times I have knelt sobbing asking the Lord to please preserve Levi's life but if it isn't His will, to please give me the strength to bear it.

When Levi has gone down in the past, I have prayed and have felt the peace and comfort of what ever happens.........  all will be well.......

This past weekend when Levi went down.  I didn't.  I didn't want to pray.  It makes no sense and is ridiculous but in my warped frame of mind at that moment I thought that if I didn't pray, I wouldn't have to face the consequences.  That somehow by me not praying........ I would stay the hand of God and stop what ever was going to happen from happening.  As I stated in my last post.  I am grateful to a loving Father who doesn't give up on me.

The fact is, I was not prepared....... so I feared..........

I have let some things slip that I am normally diligent about.  I haven't been studying my scriptures daily like in the past and I haven't been as diligent in my daily prayers as I've been in the past.

That thought hit me yesterday as I sat in church wondering why I had reacted differently this time than in the past..........

I am human.  I make mistakes.  I can try again so that next time when the storms blow, I can be at peace so that I am prepared and therefore, I shall not fear.

Thanks again for indulging me.  Just doing like I always do!  Keepin' it real...............

Post Note:  Okay, so maybe I spoke a little too soon.  Levi is not quite back to 100% but he is making an amazing comeback and although my heart is still a little constricted, a furrow in my brow of concern, I am much relieved at the progress he is making.  

Saturday, July 21, 2012


I am writing this as feelings are close and raw since my blog has become somewhat of my journal.
I'm writing because my heart is full of gratitude yet at the same time it is wrenching in pain.  This life is a journey.  We can't take anything but one thing for granted and that is our Father in Heaven and His plan for us, the Gospel, our Savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice which brings peace during times of trial and heartache.  (That was three things :)  I never was good at math...........)

Levi fell last night.  We were swimming.  He got out of the pool we were at and went to get into the hot tub.  He slipped on the wet cement and hit his head.  Knowing what 'could be', we grabbed The Native's and threw everyone in the truck and barreled home.  On the drive home, Levi started to experience dystonia.  Weakness on the right side of his body.  

Levi loves to ride in the car and while others go to sleep, he remains alert and looking around.  Last night, his body slumped against mine and he rested his head against my shoulder no longer able to hold his head up.  When we got home, The SM helped me get Levi into the house as he couldn't walk on his own.  We got him situated onto an air mattress and the usual process began.  The seizures and the throwing up and the agitation.  

After a few hours, about midnight it seemed Levi was through the throwing up stage and was resting.  Next thing we knew, he was agitated but in a different way.  He had a look of terror on his face.  He didn't know where he was or who we were.  He got up and started walking around the Foosball table.   After watching him and trying to console and help him for ten minutes I started to video tape for his neurologist.  

We tried chap stick.  We tried balloons.  Things that would have normally stopped Levi and he would have grabbed onto.  Nothing.  Just a look on his face that tore at my heart.  Tears running down his face and whimpering.  I wanted to scream at The SM!  Not 'at' him.  My insides were screaming.  My child didn't know me and I couldn't console him!  He wouldn't let me hold him.  He just walked around that Foosball table round and round scared!   As a mother, to not be able to console your child!  The look on his face still haunts me........

We were finally able to get Levi to lay down as he became exhausted and sleep over took.  I lay next to him watching and ready for the next round of throw up which lasted until 3:00 this morning.  Also watching as the dystonia (weakness and paralysis) would switch from side to side.

Watching....... wondering....... all night if this was it.  Is this going to be the time he won't come back to us.  I'm sorry to say that I wasn't stoic.  I didn't want to pray to God because I didn't want His will if this was the time for Levi to go.  I felt guilty but my own strength failed me.......    The SM told me that Levi was in God's hands.  I know.  I sort of prayed.  But didn't.........  Until this morning when I thanked our Father for never giving up on all of His children.

Levi is still resting.  He is asleep but, for a moment, he woke up and saw me.  The look of terror is gone.  He sees me.  Kristen stopped by to check on us and I asked him if he knew who Kristen was.  He said, "Randle".  He spoke.  Just that one word.  I asked him if he knew who I was.  He didn't speak anymore but he looked, really looked at me.

I have strong faith.  Sometimes it is less than it should be but I know that even when it is less than it should be, it will carry me through. Or the Lord will carry me through I should say.  He has never let me down in the past nor will He in the future.

"I know not what the future holds....... but I do know who holds the future!"

I believe in miracles.  Every day, week, month, year that Levi is with us is proof that miracles do, indeed, exist!

Thanks for indulging me.  

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


What happens when your daughter goes and takes a bath in the big jetted bathtub in the house you are renting on vacation and adds a bunch of bubbles to the water and then turns on the jets?

Monday, July 2, 2012


As I climb through this life of mine.......

I am ever and always grateful.....

That I don't have to climb it alone.........

I have this man by my side always encouraging me to keep climbing.  To keep reaching and growing.  The father of our Native's.

It's been awhile since I've done a SM post and made him blush and squirm........  

I've read that when someone loses a spouse, they forget the bad and idolize them.  I hope nothing ever happens to The SM because I can't imagine loving and idolizing him more than I already do.  It's indecent!  I'd lead a pretty lonely life because no one would be able to live up to him.

Ya hear that SM???  You and me, when we're old and wrinkly and The Native's are raised and out of the nest, we'll be one of those couples that goes to bed holding hands and somebody finds us because we've peacefully left this life in our sleep together.

What?  It could happen...........