Ornaments. The Homemade Kind

For several years my friend Kristen has been inviting The SM and I to an ornament party. The ornaments have to be handmade and an exchange like none other takes place.

Before the war begins (and you think I am kidding), we are all made comfy and cozy like with good food and conversation. Then, things start to get edgy, the guests start to squirm, and Kristen declares it is time.

The ornaments which are all gift wrapped, are placed in the center of the room. Normally, we are civilized folks. Really truly. What happens next.... well, it's quite a frenzy and when it is all over we return to being civilized and wish each other a Merry Christmas and the hope of seeing them again the following year at the next ornament party!

The rules. There are many and each year I swear a new one is added. Bottom line. We each get a number. The person who drew number one goes first. They open an ornament. We ooh and aahhh. The ornament gets passed around so we can all see which one we want desperately to steal and take home. The next person goes. They can either steal the ornament person number one opened or they can open a new one. Third owner of an ornament gets to keep it. And so it goes. Much strategy involved, emotions get to come into play (I've not played that card yet, but give me two years and when Brennan leaves on his mission you can bet I'll pull out that card and every mother in that room will understand and if I play it right, I'll come home with the entire caboodle of ornaments!).

Kristen gives a good description of her party here. This is from last years party and if she would quit being lazy and write up a post about this years..... you'd be more up to date but...... last I heard she was out gallivanting around town having lunch with her friends. I'm not fibbing! I'm telling the truth! I saw it with my very own eyes! I was witness to the entire adventure!



So, I bring you to this year's ornaments. This is The SM's. We both make two of what we make. One for the party. One for our tree. I think this sled is adorable. He cut the metal and shaped the little sled runners, sanding the edges until they were smooth, then painted them red. The little wood slats are so tiny. Hard to see in this photo but it is just the littlest cutest sled and reminds me of one I had exactly like it growing up.



My ornament. These photos are for you Linda! It is absolutely amazing to me the amount of hours people put into doing tutorials for the rest of us inept people. I am so grateful to these people. Because of Linda's tutorial on these little sweater ornaments, I was able to make one too!



And thank you Kristen for teaching me to felt. The snowman is felted on the front of the sweater. How does one describe felting...... You use this barbaric little needle that has barbs on it and stab the wadding to death! :) Seriously! You take little pieces of fibers and with the needle stab it into what ever you want the felting on. In my case, the front of the sweater. I put a sponge in the inside of the sweater and then started stabbing the colored fibers where I wanted them and where I didn't want them. The carrot nose I was trying to make for some reason kept wanting to slide across the snowman's face..... much yelling and cussing and this is what you end up with! Piece of cake as Kristen says..... Riiiiiiight!

Carolers... Where Have They Gone

Photo Credit--I would if I could if I knew...

Christmas caroling. Growing up we did it every year. Mom would make her little cakes to take to the neighbors. Frosted in white with holly berries and leaves placed on top, wrapped in plastic wrap. We would load up in the old green station wagon and set out but not before Mom had us around the piano practicing the songs we would sing.

As we'd pull up to each house, my stomach would do that squeeze and jump up and down thing. Mom would hand me one of the cakes. It was my job, when all the songs we'd practiced were sung and we'd sing, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" as our grand finale, I would walk up to our neighbor and hand them the cake.

I've gone Christmas caroling with The SM and Native's a handful of times since we've been married. It seems..... like hand written letters.... it is becoming a lost art. I miss the magic of Christmas carolers.

Last night, after a day of watching the world around me covered in snow, I decided I was cold and wanted a fire. I went out onto my front porch and started to bring in some wood. I picked up a piece of wood and turned to walk in the house. I paused. I heard something. With the new fallen snow acting like a muffler to normal city noises I could hear something off in the distance. I strained my ears and heard the sweet strains of, "Silent Night" being sung.

I came into the house, grabbed a quilt, wrapped myself up in it, and went back out on the porch to listen. Voices. Beautiful voices and the words came to my mind, and the heavens shall open and angles will sing and praise His glorious name.

I heard angels singing last night, on that peaceful and quiet night. I heard angels as they walked from house to house, raising their voices, and singing praises to our King.

I hope the neighborhood youth will make this a tradition and do it again next year. And to The SM (who is one of the youth leaders) who came up with the wonderful idea and put together the songs to be sung.... it was beautiful and a great way to bring in the Christmas spirit.

Merry Christmas! "God bless us, everyone".

Cluster Kids = Angels

They call them Cluster Kids. The kids with special needs at the school. Why they call them that, I do not know. Regardless, they are the mentally disabled kids. Levi is one of them.

Every year, their teachers work hard helping the students practice and learn songs in sign language, stories, dances, etc. for a Christmas program for the rest of the school.

Yesterday, was the program. The Cluster Kids come in. They are excited. You can feel their excitement. They look around the room and giggle and laugh and if you are Levi, blow kisses at their mums and dads.

Over the PA system the principal announces that the Cluster Kids are ready and if those classes that want to, they can come down and see the program but that it isn't mandatory.

I have to say, when I heard that, I was shocked and crestfallen. If only you could have seen these children's faces. So bright. So happy. So exuberant to show what they'd been learning. They were going to put on a show for the school!

It was a fleeting moment of shock. I quickly reasoned that all of the teachers would bring their students to the gym despite being told they didn't have to. Why wouldn't they? They did for the Christmas choir concert and other programs by the rest of the students through out the year.....

And what kind of a message would that give and teach students I reasoned if the teachers didn't bring their classes. That these kids were some how less? Nawww! Surely none of the classes would miss out.

As the Cluster Kids performed their program, it wasn't perfect by any means, but as I sat and watched with a huge grin on my face...... no, their bodies and minds aren't perfect, but their spirits are. And that is what I saw. And I hope that the classes that did come, were able to see that too. And to those that didn't come....... well...... all I can say is....... you totally missed out!

Side Note

I just wanted to make myself clear about my last post. What I was trying to convey is that I love receiving Christmas cards and I do enjoy reading about my friends and family. What they've been up to over the past year, how their kids have grown, their accomplishments....... I truly do!

My bah humbug was me. I don't enjoy writing the letter. Not that I don't have a ton to say about The Native's....... as you all know who read this blog....... It's just forcing myself to sit down and trying to capture an entire year in one tiny little paragraph. Not so good at it!

Have I made myself clear?

P.S. Tami! You. Me. Soon!

Card dilemma

Christmas cards. I love receiving them. I'm always late getting ours out and this year is no different. Here's why:

A) No family photo. Can't seem to get a family photo/snapshot of all of us that I like. (Note: Mum-me must look beautiful in the photo. Don't care about the rest. Mum just has to look good.)

B) The eternally long book/letter that has to be written to go with. The SM and I take turns writing the epistle. It is my turn. The letter is daunting. How do you keep it short when you have as many Native's as we do and try to sum up one year?

And do people really read those things? Do they really care what happened to 'Bill' that year.

Bill, is a mighty ten year old this year. He's doing so well in school. He is vice president of his Lego club, has achieved high ranking in his telekinesis program, learned to play the violin in six minutes and is first chair in the chamber orchestra of peeps. Bill also walks the elderly across the street daily, keeps his room immaculately clean, and scrubs the fungus out from under his mother's toes once a week. Such a darling. We couldn't be prouder of our Bill..

But hey! Please. Send us cards because I promise! I do read the ones sent to me and I love receiving them....... despite my hum bug when it comes to writing and sending our own........

Bah! Humbug!

Changing Hobbies

I had a grand idea. A fabulous plan. I was going to make my mom the best of Christmas gifts. It was brilliant. I bought the yarn. Beautiful yarn. I began to knit. I knit and I knit. I was starting to worry. I was starting to become unsure of my brilliance. I finished. It wasn't brilliant. It was junk....

I have decided, if it is something to wear, I probably shouldn't knit it. You'd think I'd learn the last time I tried to knit something to wear.

Throwing my knitting needles out the door. I've decided to change hobbies.

I think, "Dancing With The Stars" should call me.

I think I could win that big glitter ball! Move over Jennifer Grey!

Yup! Just ask The Native's. When I start dancing in the kitchen, the whole world stops and stares. I'm so good The Native's won't even dance with me. It's a shame really but I understand. It's hard having such a brilliant Mum. So fabulous in fact that it must be too brilliant for their eyes because when I start The Native's all tell me to stop! Especially when I grab them and make them dance with me.

Sigh.....I am so not appreciated....

Sabbath Observance

The Sabbath is a day of rest. A day to worship. A day spent in quiet contemplation. A holy day.



It is nice to see how The Native's spend their Sabbath afternoon in such uplifting activities....

Twas the week of Chanukah....

souped up on drugs and happy to be going home

when mayhem hit our house, not a creature was happy, because of this mouse.



The faces of siblings showed concern and care, when they found out poor Mr. J had to stay there.



This Native all nestled all snug in this bed, moaned and groaned while missed latkes danced in his siblings heads.



And I in my grubbies and Pa at home tending, settled in for a long set of days and eternally long nights never ending.



Hour after hour there arose such a clatter, machines beeping constantly, nurses running to see what was the matter.



I sat and I knit and I knit and I knit, and what to my wondering eyes did appear...
a little baby hat made from left over yarn, and a scarf that felt like it took me all year.....

The week of Chanukah is a celebration. The festival of lights. A time to remember the miracle of the Maccabees' victory and the miracle of the oil that burnt for eight days in the holy Temple. There's more to it....... but the bottom line is it is a celebration of miracles.

We didn't celebrate Chanukah in the typical usual fashion. The potatoes are still in storage waiting to be made into latkes, the puppets the kids made for a puppet show sit collecting dust, the dreidel sits on it's side waiting to be played with and turned, most of the candles on our Tree of Life *menorah haven't been lit, and visions of stolen chunk a poo cookies dancing in our heads....... (just making sure the theives feel reeeeal guilty)

We celebrated our own set of miracles. The miracle of modern medicine and another oil that was used for the anointing of the sick. Many prayers answered as our little guy was so sick and at an earlier time in history probably would not have made it. So many kind people offering to help. Meals brought in, home made cards and toys brought to Mr. J..... No, not a typical Chanukah but a week of miracles and that is what the celebration is all about!

God bless us. Everyone!

* Just a side note. People call what we light menorahs but they are actually candelabrum. Hanukkiyas. There is only one menorah and it is in the temple.

Why I Blog.

I was reminded this past week as to why I blog and thought, "I need to blog about this!" :D Ya know. Cuz that is what we bloggers do!

I'm not a writer. I 'blog' but I don't 'write'.

Long before most people were blogging, Kristen was. Kristen, is a writer. Before blog land, she would write posts and send them to her friends and family via e-mail. Then blogs came along and she started one. She encouraged me to start one. That was ridiculous! Why would I blog? I am not a writer! What would I blog about?

Levi she said. People need to know about Levi.

I'm not a writer! I can't start a blog......

Yes you can and you need to! You need to talk about Levi so that if others have a child like him, they can read and relate!

This went on and on for awhile until one day, I sat down, and started a blog. Because Kristen told me to! And she commented, and her daughter commented. So I wrote another post, because all of a sudden, a world that was made up of four walls suddenly expanded.

Being a stay at home mom (which I choose and am blessed that I can choose to be a stay at home mom) is dang tough. I can remember growing up and our family every Sunday being the last to leave church. Sunday after Sunday after Sunday because Mom was so busy talking. Mom! I forgive you. I get it now.

When you are home with so many little ones, no real connections with the outside world, it is really hard. I would listen for the mail man. Everyday I would sit and listen and watch for the mailman and as soon as he'd drop my mail in the box, I'd be out there! Nine times out of ten it was just bills but it was something from the outside world.

The other day, I forgot to get the mail and I mused to myself that a few years ago, that would never have happened. The only reason I get the mail now is so that the mail man won't yell at me because he can't squish anymore mail into my mailbox and to get off my lazy bahootie and clean it out!

The blogging world came along and changed that for me. It was a window into a society really. The blogging world is a society of its own. People I have never met before, I feel intimately connected to from reading their blogs. When they write about the good times I rejoice and laugh with them. When they have hard times, I am sad with them and pray for them. People I have never met before and yet I feel like I do! Don't get me started on the tutorials! The hours people put into putting up photos and teaching us how to make and do things!

And I know the same goes for those who read my blog which truly amazes me by the way. That anybody other than family who feel obligated to read, would read because as I said, I'm not a writer. I'm a spastic stay at home mom who obviously needs to get out more!

A lot of times I write for my parents and siblings. They live far away and so by writing and posting photos, they get to see their grand kids, niece, and nephews.

This past week with Mr. J being so sick, I realized that I blog for another reason too. Sitting here day after day on the couch holding a crying little guy made me feel like I did years ago with so many little ones crying and crawling all over me hour after hour. Day after day. I needed a connection with the outside world. I needed to talk to all of you. So I would sit here holding my little one and read/listen to you as you wrote about your day. I've not been able to comment much but I am here listening!

So that, my friends, is why I blog! It's a connection. And I thank you all for it!

I'm On Camera and I Don't Care!

When Levi was little, he had to stay in the hospital several times. One of his stays lasted over a week. In the pediatric unit, they have video cameras in the rooms so they can keep an eye on the patients. I was so self conscience! I couldn't sleep! What if I was sleeping with my mouth open.... what if I was drooling... horror of horrors!

Saturday night little J was admitted to the hospital. I've been with him excepting when The SM comes for a bit so I can go home and shower. I am proud to say that I have matured to a whole new level. I could care less what is picked up on camera. Drool, mouth open, snoring, or worse........ who cares. I walk around this place in sweats and bed head. I've been woken up so many times with monitors going off, nurses, and doctors coming in and out of the room...

They have Mr. J in isolation. Until they know what is going on he can't leave the room and those that come in have to gown,mask,gloves and cover up in disposables. Secretly, I think they are using Mr. J as an excuse. If you saw me right now, you would come to the same conclusion as me. It is me they are afraid of letting out and about. I. Look. Scary! No sleep for over a week will do that to a person.

Advent

Growing up, we had a red flannel advent calendar. Everyday for the month of December we would take turns opening the pocket to see what flannel piece of the nativity came next. I can remember hoping it would be my turn when the 24th came to put up the last piece of flannel. The baby Jesus. I think my siblings liked to spoil me because it seemed like I was able to put up the baby Jesus several years in a row.

A few years ago I received a package in the mail right before December. My sis right above me had made us a replication of the red flannel advent calendar that we'd grown up with.

Now The Native's take turns opening up the pockets and adding little felt cutouts each day adding to the nativity.



Growing up, The SM's grandmother would get him and his siblings these advent calendars. Each day you open a little window and you get a little piece of chocolate. After The SM and I married, his Mum would send us one of these.

It is fun having The Native's carry on the traditions that were in both my home growing up and also The SM's.

What do you do to count down the days of Christmas in your home?

Oh Look! Another Snowman!

Yesterday was the first day of Chanukah. We had big plans. Lots of people. Lots of food, fun, and games.



The Native's made puppets and put together a puppet show so that they could teach our guests about the festival of lights and why we celebrate Chanukah. They'd worked on the puppet show for over a month. It takes that long to glue googly eyes on wooden spoons. Trust me.



Yesterday morning, I had to e-mail all of our guests. Mr. J, my baby is sick. Really really sick. Not something the guests want to catch and bring home for the holidays.

Totally stunk! Literally. Barf wreaks!

But the good news is: Chanukah lasts for eight days!!! So, hopefully somewhere in those eight days, Mr. J will get better and we can still have the party! I'm craving latkes man!

Oh, and I finished knitting this baby sweater and hat. The hat is my favorite...... and what does the snowman have to do with all of this? Nothing. He was just hangin' around so I put him to work displaying the sweater and hat. My baby sis said he makes an ugly baby. I told her he gets his nose from the Jewish side of the family.....

Once There Was A Snowman.....At Least It Appears That There Was...

I told Mr. C to go outside, get some fresh air, and to play with his little brother.



I'm not sure how to interpret this....... Should I be worried about my son? Or worried that I thought this was quite funny..... ?

Help!!

http://www.refresheverything.com/cureahc

Please! Click on this link and go and vote for AHC. This is what Levi has. Today is the last day and we've slipped to third place for the Pepsi Refresh project. Voting ends at the end of today. Only first and second place get funds. We desperatly need to find a cure for our AHC babies. Please help. It will only take but a second of your time.

Thank you!!

The Best Christmas Ever

I want to tell you a story I'd written about a year ago. It is a story about the best Christmas ever. It didn't start out that way... and it's a long read... but it was a Christmas that I'll never forget and a spirit of Christmas that I have tried to keep going since.

The Best Christmas Ever

October 2008 found me in the hospital fighting for my life with what we would find out to be a chronic illness. A little over a week later I was able to come home to start the up hill road towards building my strength and immune system.

As the weeks went by and Christmas drew nearer I became more and more depressed. Christmas in the past had been such a magical time of year for our family of seven children ages 14 to 3. I would spend the entire month filling it with everything I could think of that would make it exciting for the children. Whispering behind closed doors, children giggling as they tried to keep the gifts they were working on a secret from each other, hours spent in the kitchen with flour dusting all surfaces while plates upon plates of goodies were delivered to friends and neighbors, and a cheery “Merry Christmas” sung out.

I lamented to my husband one evening, “How can I create magic for the children when I am stuck in bed and so weak? I can't decorate our house. I can't make plates of goodies for the neighbors, I can't even shop for presents for the children”! My husband was busy trying to manage the house being both dad and mom, plus work, and his church callings. He was doing everything he could and creating “magic” in my terms just wasn't possible. He assured me that he would do his best to take care of Christmas but me laying in bed fretting over something I had no control over wasn't helping me to get any stronger.

My husband was right. I was spending too much time focusing on everything I could no longer do rather than on what I can do. I decided then and there that it was time to focus on our blessings and that I was going to pull up my boot straps and this was going to be the best Christmas ever. I needed a theme. “A Christ Centered Christmas” came to my mind. Sitting in bed with my laptop, my excitement grew as I poured over ideas on www.lds.com. I prayed asking Heavenly Father for inspiration. I wanted this Christmas to be the best Christmas ever!

Slowly things started to come together. The Saturday after Thanksgiving as was tradition, my husband took all of the kids into the mountains and found the most beautiful evergreen tree in the entire forest and brought it home. He and the kids set the tree up putting on the lights and garland as I had asked, leaving off the ornaments. The only decoration we put up was the nativity. I wasn't able to put up anything more. I also had the kids dig out a wooden box we'd used in the past when the kids would dress up acting out the nativity. A box one of the wise men would bring his gift in.

Sunday evening the family gathered around my bed as I explained what I had been working on. We sang some Christmas hymns and after a word of prayer I told the kids about the ultimate gift the Savior had given to us. For the entire month of December in His honor we would give gifts to the Savior and after each gift was given, we'd place an ornament on the tree. The gifts we would give would be acts of service that we would perform through out the month. Each evening we would gather around the nativity next to the Christmas tree, sing a Christmas hymn, have a word of prayer and with the help of the Gospel Art kit read scriptures about the life of the savior, and then draw a slip of paper out of the wooden box. Our gift of service that we'd give the following day.

Each evening we'd talk about the acts of service we'd given and then draw out a new slip of paper that would have something written on it. Things that the kids could do together that they could do on their own since I was in bed and my husband was busy trying to keep on top of everything. Things like, “Go and read to an elderly couple in the neighborhood the “Christmas Orange” story and give them an orange when you are finished. Or Donate something useful (toys) to those who are in need. Or Surprise someone you know with an act of service (shovel sidewalk, sweep floor, make his or her bed) Or Make a Christmas card for the Bishop Or Write your testimony in a “Book of Mormon” and give it to the missionaries to give away.

Other acts of service were also recognized as the children caught onto the vision and did things for each other on their own.

As each ornament was placed on the tree and the act of service recognized, the spirit grew stronger in our home and our love for each other and the season grew. On Christmas Eve when the “Christmas Story” was read aloud and the children once again acted it out in front of our Christmas Tree, covered in our gifts we'd brought to the Savior over the past month, my heart swelled inside of me and I rejoiced. Our Christ Centered Christmas was the best Christmas we'd ever had. An entire month had been spent in the act of giving and we received so much more because of it. This truly had been, the best Christmas ever.

Recap

Thanksgiving 2010 came and went. This is Thanksgiving gospel by Rachel: Thanksgiving should be spent with family and loved ones. Amen!
Photo credit

We ate a ton of this..........(sorry, no photo of us actually eating or of the food. The photographer was too busy stuffing her face.)


Photo credit

We played a bunch of these.......(sorry, no photos of the game playing. The photographer was too busy trash talking and trying to slide cards under her chair without being noticed...... WHAT?)



We went up in the mountains and played in the snow....... (I say "we" loosely. Somebody had to stay in the truck and make sure no one stole it! It's a rough job. I volunteered beings as I'm tough, nice, and sacrificing like that.)



We chopped down and carried one of these down the mountain.....



Hey! I could have cut/sawed it down if I'd wanted but being the unselfish mum that I am..... I let my boys! They need the experience and they can't get experience if I am always stepping in for them now can they? I learned that in parenting 101...



I even had my baby girl chop down a tree! That. Is how you become a ten cow wife. She's in training......



We taught ourselves how to crochet and made one of these......



We took several of these.....



And made one of these.....

Hope your Thanksgiving was just as fun, plentiful, and fattening.....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not sure who to give photo credit to or who artist of painting is..

Truth, the Gospel of Jesus Christ
Home and Hearth
Atonement, my Savior Jesus Christ
Naps
Kind neighbors and friends
Family
Umbilical cords (telephones, cell phones, internet, skyping, web cams)
Loads of chocolate

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like......

Oh my gosh! I can't even believe you would think that word let alone say it! It's not even December yet!

I was going to say the other "C" word.... chaos!

Most Definetly A Monday.....A Levi Monday...

After a weekend of celebrating our Mr. M's 12th birthday, we fell into bed Sunday evening looking forward to a long uninterrupted night of beauty sleep. Heck, I didn't even need it to be beauty. I just wanted sleep.

Amazingly, we made it to bed at a decent hour and I soon found myself in a deep sleep. A deep sleep which I was violently wakened from. You know the kind. The kind where you have a fire alarm go off and even though it's just the idiot alarm screaming it's piercing head off, it has your heart going a hundred miles an hour and your eye balls are bouncing around trying to get the sleep out and focus on something.

A flood of light hit The SM and I. My squinty eyes tried to focus on the person standing next to our bed. Tears in his eyes Levi tried telling us that something was wrong. It was evident something was wrong but I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me. He kept pointing to his tummy.

I got out of bed and told Levi to show me. As I followed him out into the hall that is when I was jerked into the reality of the situation as my eyes came into focus on the mess that was all down his side and clear up his back.

I yelled to Levi to STOP! Go in the bathroom and wait for me. I went into his room and as the smell assaulted me I confirmed one of my worst nightmares. Why oh why can't diapers be fool proof? Why oh why must they not contain that which should be contained?

It was vile. It was disgusting. I know. I'm his mother. I shouldn't say such things about a child who has special needs right? Well, guess what? I'm saying it. It's part of Levi. A not so pleasant part of him but it is part of loving and caring for Levi.

I put Levi in the tub after I stripped off his pajamas and diaper that under the circumstances, really did try to do it's job.... it was just too big of a job...

The washing machine was set into action as bedding and clothing were brought down. Meanwhile, another Native was awakened and needed the lou. Plugging his nose he dove downstairs to use that bathroom and asked what in the world that smell was. I started running around madly lighting candles. When I was finished it looked like I should start chanting and praying.

Top to bottom (literally) Levi was scrubbed up. A new diaper put on, bed re-made with fresh clean sheets, and child put back to bed as me, the mum, continued to clean up the mess.

What seemed like ages, I fell into bed and hoped for the best. That the few hours remaining of the night would find me in deep slumber.

Fast forward a tidge and once again replay only this time, it spewed forth from both ends...... This time, The SM took over the cleaning.

The washing machine and dryer continue to run as eruption follows eruption.

The tank is finally empty and there is nothing left to erupt. Thank heavens!

Levi is sitting on the couch, the throw up bucket (plastic mixing bowl) perched on his head, a big round hat, watching a movie about bears. Some National Geographic thing picked up from the library. I ask him how he is doing. He looks at me and says, "I love you momma".

I look at my bucket head baby who has exhausted me and drained me of all energy today and I say, "I love you too, Levi". My heart and soul renewed and filled to the brim.

I love that kid.

Save the Turkeys!

The local kindergartners are on a crusade. They read a story about some turkeys who disguised themselves in the hopes of escaping...... the..... guillotine!



Their mission should they accept it, to take their turkey and disguise it.



Mission accomplished.

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

The Force

12!

Photo by Backroads Photography

Mr. M turns 12 today!!

Me: You're 12 today! Do you feel any different?

Mr. M.: No, I'm still short.

Miss K.: You're growing shorter.

Mr. M.: Yeah. Basically. And it's not growing. It's shrinking! You can't GROW shorter.

Me: Matt! You are getting so wise in your old age. See? There is a difference!! Do you feel smarter?

Mr. M: (He shakes his head no). If I were smarter, I'd wish my birthday were before Wednesday cuz I took a test. But, since you don't get smarter, it doesn't matter. I'd have still gotten an 85%.

Me: Maybe the smart powers are in the birthday cake! You'll be smarter when you have your cake!

Mr. M: No, smart powers you get from going to school and paying attention in school!

Me: Who paid you to say that? The teachers? The principal?

Mr. M: (Grinning) Yeah.........

Me: Sucker! It's in the fudge sauce on the ice cream!

Mr. M: I don't like fudge sauce.

Me: Which is why you will never be smart OR GROW! Growth hormones are in fudge sauce.

Mr. M: I already AM smart!

Me: Oh! Well, happy birthday.

Volunteering

When the local fire and paramedics are doing their training and need volunteers to be the victims...... we are more than happy to fall to the occasion.


Quit smiling punk. You're supposed to be dead! Hey! Wait a second!! How come the blood is flowing down your face when you are upside down..... Somethin's not right with this picture! I want a second opinion! Now! Stat!!

Mr. C said it was a fun evening and he was glad he'd volunteered....that is..... until they left him for dead and went and worked on someone else. He felt that was rude but then got over it quick when they gave him donuts as consolation.

Look What I Just Bought!

I am in so much doo doo. My neighbor showed me these last night. I fell. I fell hard. I had to buy the pattern.



There's just one problem.



I knit. These are crochet.



I don't know how to crochet!!



But I don't care! I don't care that Christmas is only a little over a month away.



There's a reason I've been called a knit whit!



I don't care if it kills me!



I am going to figure out/learn how to crochet.



Because I think The Native's who are begging me to make them these....



Will just be tickled pink/purple/orange/green to find these on Christmas morning.



Hopefully The Native's won't notice that a certain character that they used to call me is missing. Crossing my fingers that they will be amply intoxicated on Christmas sugar and egg nog.

Love and peace out,

Jabba da Hut

Here is the link if you want to buy from this seller. Link

Romeo and Juliet

Mr. B's English project. Romeo and Juliet 1930's style

There is another video that is hilarious that I can't get on here. The gal videoing this was a weeee bit fascinated with the half naked tennis player in the back and spent a good portion of the videoing time zooming in on him while the actors kept waiting and waiting and waiting for her to get back to the project.

Watch closely the end credits. :D Hormonal teenagers! Gotta love em!

Romeo: Played by Mr. B....... naturally........

School Marm

RULES FOR TEACHERS

DUTIES

*Wash windows & clean classroom with soap and water once a week. I don't see a problem with that.

*Check outhouses daily. (Plenty of old catalogues are available at School Board office.) I can only imagine the sorts of catalogues a School Board office would have and I'm sure the students had absolutely no problem what so ever wiping their bums with them!

APPAREL
(Forbidden wear in Public at All Times)

*WOMEN:

(1) A bathing costume Did schools have pools back then?


(2) Bloomers for cycling Would bloomers for mountain climbing be appropriate?


(3) Skirts slit to expose ankles Because someone might see your bloomin' bloomers!


(4) bustle extension over 10 inches And what happens if you had an especially round bum that naturally stuck out further than ten inches?

*MEN:

(1) Detachable collar & necktie removed from shirt Indecent! Might see his neck!


(2) Shirt sleeves unlinked & rolled That! Would imply that he was hard at work!


(3) Hair closely cropped (unless bald or have disease of the scalp) Naturally.

CONDUCT
(Cause for Immediate Dismissal)

*Smoking of cigarettes, use of spirits, frequenting of pool or public dance halls. Define "frequent" ing...

*Marriage or other unseemly behavior by women teachers. Marriage! Oh absolutely unseemly! Downright wicked of a woman!

*Joining of any Feminist Movement, such as the Suffragettes. Because she actually might 'educate' the uneducated males of the world! In her unseemly manner....


Signed by the Superintendent Sept. 15, 1886





No wonder female teachers back in the day were known to be old crotchety mean toads. The SM read this and while laughing said, "Knowing you, you'd show up with a 15 inch bustle in your bloomin' bathing costume in 'high spirits'!



I thought that downright indecent and unseemly of him! My bustle would have been 20 inches!

Babysitting

For those of you who live in the area, If you see me at the school dropping off the little Native's, I won't be offended if you walk on the other side of the hallway. In fact, I won't even be offended if you take an entirely different hallway!


Image shamelessly stolen from here

I am babysitting these guys this week!


Another image that I have no regret stealing from here.



Which means I'm walking around in these.



Because I'm stepping in and shoveling this stuff.



And no matter how many mud puddles I step in on the way back to the truck they still look and smell like..... chewed up grass!



And it is raining out so I'm wearing one of these because naturally curly hair that you've spent the morning straightening and rain do not get along.



But then again, neither do rain and hay. It tends to stick and get into everything. The hay. Add rain to it and you've got a hat covered in hay lint!

The end result! Me smelling rather odoriferous and looking a bit like Mrs. Indiana Jones! Better watch out! Not only do I know how to wield a manure rake! I can crack a whip too! Just ask The Native's!