Sigh of relief

This was certainly not how I had planned to spend my summer this year but today has come with a sigh of relief. I had joked before we knew what was going on that at least if I were pregnant I'd know that in twenty years I'd start to feel better!

Before we knew I didn't know how long this was going to last and I tried to put on a brave face and make the best of it and be positive. It sure makes it easier when you know that this isn't something that I'd have to deal with for the rest of my life. How droll for my kids to have a mother who lives on the couch day after day.....month after month........year after year.......and yet there are mother's out there who not by their own choice are in that position. My heart goes out to them.

We are handed and given things in life that we may or may not choose. How we deal with and react is in our power to choose though. In my reading in Mosiah I have appreciated Alma and the people who followed him. As they were captured and taken into bondage they had task masters put over them and burdens put upon their backs. They cried out to Heavenly Father and were commanded by their captors not to pray. Alma and his people prayed silently in their hearts. The Lord heard them and answered their prayers. He didn't help them escape from bondage immediately. He made it so that the people did not feel the burdens on their backs and their tasks made lighter. The people had faith. They did not murmur and complain. They gave thanks and rejoiced in Heavenly Father. They were cheerful and patient. Heavenly Father THEN helped them escape.

I've thought a lot about this experience and how it relates to me. I have been given a burden so to speak on my back. It isn't going to go away anytime soon but I know that my prayers are being answered and the burden is being made light. I hope that I can continue like Alma and his people giving thanks, having faith, being cheerful, and patient.

I've been given an opportunity to learn and to grow. I just hope that when people come to visit they can look the other way as the piles in the house also grow. OY!

On the other hand.........Levi and Jadon are loving the idea of living on cold cereal for the next several months. See? There is good in all things. :o)

Test Results

The results are back and they are about as confusing as when we started. At least things showed up which makes me feel better. SEE? I'm not making this all up. I feel crappy okay? For a reason!

Here's the weird one. According to my tests I have a raging bladder infection that has been going on for sometime that my body is fighting. Weird cuz I do not have any symptoms. I've had a bladder infection before and believe me, it isn't something you ignore. So, my body thinks it has this battle going on that it is fighting and it is beating the tar out of me.

Secondly, here at some point and who knows when I got mono! I am so excited. Now I can tell people that Brian doesn't get all of the fun when he travels. :o) hee hee

Thirdly, and finally I am still dealing with West Nile residual stuffs.

The end result is after several months of recuperating from all of this my butt is going to resemble the couch cushions it has/will have been smashed upon and I will have several cracks to show from it!

My only request is that when all is said and done that no one mistaken me for a horrid beat up old couch and throw me in the trash.

Piano

All of my punks Kirsten on up play the piano. They each practice everyday and when they aren't practicing it isn't unusual for all of them at some point in the day to sit down at the piano and just play. I love it. I love hearing them play. They have a fantastic teacher and they each play very well.

I've been asked if all of the piano practicing drives me nuts. Not at all! I seriously love hearing them play. That is why it is so hard for me when I am down. The playing is difficult for me. I don't know why. It is too loud and the tone is too harsh. Why is that? I have to keep reminding myself that when I feel better I love hearing them play and I NEVER want to discourage them so I "suffer" in silence.

I say suffer. It is hard to suffer through something and grit your teeth when normally you love it. Kind of like chocolate. On normal days I can't get enough but if I had the stomach flu and was urping up all over the place eating chocolate would be hard to swallow.......

Bread mishaps

One should not make bread when one is tired and not feeling well or this happens:




I couldn't resist peeking in the bread machine to see what was happening and if the dough was tending to its business. When I opened the lid I noticed a piece of metal under my rising dough and thought, "oh no, I've gone and busted the dang thing already"!

I pulled it out and remembered a little too late that I'd left a measuring spoon dripping with honey in that thar bread machine bowl thingy. Oops.......the spoon is a little bent up but everything else seems to be okay.




Well........until you pull your bread out after it has cooked and it looks like this.........I wonder if my forgetting the salt is the culprit...........

Guuuuuuuuyyyyy HEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!

Better is good

I'm not sure what to Title my post today. It has been a good day. I was able to get up at 6:00 this morning with Brennan and make him lunch before he headed off for work. I then needed to rest and sleep for several hours after that and thought if that was the only thing I accomplished today then that would have been worth it and good enough. It is important to me to be up with Brennan and see him off to work just as it is important to me to see my kids when they come home.

After resting and sleeping I attempted to make bread in my new bread machine. It took me several tries as I was too weak to go through the process as simple as it is. I walked into the kitchen only to turn around and hit the couch again several times. I was finally able to get up and was able to not only get the bread made but Levi and Jadon's diapers changed and the two of them dressed and myself showered as well.

As the day has progressed I have felt better and was able to go outside and watch the kids while they played which freed up all of the other kids to go and play with friends. They had done their fair share of babysitting all morning.

This evening after more resting I had Brian help me exercise. We went for a walk around the neighborhood. Towards the end I think it was more of a shuffle but I made it.

Not a bad day I'd say considering how it started out eh?

Angels on my doorstep

Yesterday I had angels appear on my doorstep. They brought a brand new bread machine with the makings of a loaf of bread already put together inside. All we needed to do was hit the start button and we'd have bread!

All day Saturday I knew I needed to make more bread. We were running low. I was too tired and not able to. Brian told me not to worry, we'd make bread the next day. The next day (yesterday) came and I was still too tired and weak and then these angels appeared!

What a happy thought to carry me through the rest of the day. Thank you Guy and Kristen for my happy thought.

Happy Thoughts.

As I mentioned in my last post I have been sick for quite some time. Not urpy throw up sick. Something else. We don't know what........we keep calling it a West Nile relapse because that is what it feels like but as the spring has progressed I have been getting worse. On Friday I went to the doctor's. They took blood and are doing several tests. We are waiting for the results.

It has been a hard week. I feel like I am a shell of who I used to be. Yesterday I sobbed in the shower because spring is my favorite time of year. I love to garden. I love to plant flowers. I should be outside doing these things. But.......I'm not.

Yesterday Brian helped me plant two hanging baskets. I love flowers. They make me happy. When I am at Cost-Co I like to get myself some because I feel like life is too short not to enjoy and get fresh cut flowers. I'm nuts about flowers.

I am learning to take each day as it comes and enjoy what I can out of each day. Yesterday my happy thought was the flowers. They made me happy. Levi helped me water them. He enjoyed "helping" me. It wasn't the normal hanging baskets that I do. They aren't fancy and Levi may have washed away more dirt out of the baskets but it doesn't matter. He was happy and thought he was helping.

When I have good days we'll just have to be more spur of the moment and take the opportunities when we can. It is all about family. It has always been about family but this whatever it is that I have has made it even more so for me. I have very little energy. I can't be letting outside things take what little energy I have away from my family. It is about the little things now. Taking life easier and slower. This isn't a bad thing. So there is my happy thought for today.