Insert Swear Word

Crap!  Yes.  I just said crap!  Sorry Mum!  I keep thinking if I scream the word crap over and over while I am jumping up and down like a two year old landing on the floor it might change this crappy so far day.  Actually, the image of an almost 40 year old lady screaming crap and jumping up and down stomping makes me smile.  See?  My day is getting better already!

The alarm went off and I awoke with one of those stinging headaches in the center of my forehead.  I think someone slipped something in my water before bed because my head feels full of cotton and mush.  Mushy cotton.  Hmmm.  I look in the mirror as I stumble to the bathroom with a bladder that feels like I am trying to give birth to an entire lake held back by a flimsy piece of cardboard that is going to break at any second.   I see a face looking back in the mirror that makes me think I had a more exciting night than I remember as the bags under my eyes are packed for a trip across the world 10 times.  That is a lot of luggage people!!!  Not before the dam breaks though.  As I sit during the flood that no ark could have a prayer of surviving in I contemplate my toes.  Why did I paint them hot pink when they are covered in so many blisters they look like a hideous troll traded feet for the last few weeks?  I am told those who run marathons have frightful toes.  Blisters, toe nails turning black and falling off.  Purrrrrdy.  I know!  Let's paint them hot pink and point a neon sign that says, "Look at my grotesque toes"!!  Special.

I trundle downstairs trying to see through watery eyes and see only two Natives up and getting ready for school.  Levi is still asleep.  Fab.  Just fab.  If the boy doesn't get up with all of the noise and confusion of the other Natives it means one of two things.  Either he has had a bad night and will tumble today and NOT GOOD or............. he's had a bad night but eventually will get up but will have missed his bus and NOT GOOD!

Meanwhile, the chickens are out of water and The SM has told Mr. C to go and fill the water.  Mr. C walks in with the crappy chicken water container, crappy in that it is a piece of crap and crappy that it is covered in chicken crap that yes, he is now bringing in the house and puts on my kitchen counters and proceeds to fill because the hose outside is frozen.  Task finished he walks through my living room, out the back door, only to return a few minutes later with now empty crappy chicken water container because the thing leaked all the water all over the coop.  It is then that we notice Mr. C has chicken crap all over the bottom of his feet that he has now tracked all over the house.  At this point, be grateful I'm just saying crap because you know I'm thinking something else and needing my mouth washed out with soap.

Levi finally gets up and it is time to get dressed.  Dressing Levi is fun.  When he is done with his clothes they go right back in his drawers.  Dirty undies and all.  Try as I might.  No matter how many times I tell him, crappy undies end up back in his drawer and I get the lovely job of sorting through which ones are clean and which aren't by you guessed it.  Sniffing them out.  Sometimes, evidence saves me the disgusting hassle.  We then move onto the shirts.  Good luck finding a shirt without a big hole in the back.  Levi hates tags so before I can do anything about it, he yanks out the tags and it leaves a fabulous hole in the back of his shirt.  Fab.  Thanks Levi!  Just spent how much on new shirts and they all have holes in them........

Levi gets dressed and decides today he is going to shut down for breakfast.  Spoon feed.  I get to sit and feed him because he's shut down.  The bus is coming, we're already late, and Levi shuts down.  GREAT!
I'm shoving food in Levi's face while trying to put on his shoes and socks which is a problem because Levi wore his shoes in the ditch and now they've dried funky and the socks aren't the right ones and shove more food in his face and WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT NOISE????  The bus is early!  It's a substitute driver.  Do these drivers not understand what happens when they don't follow the routine exactly in the morning for us frantic parents????

SCREAM CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!   Argh!!!!  Levi doesn't like what follows but I do what I gotta do which means Levi went to school without his teeth brush or hair done which Levi hates having those things done anyway but it's all about routine and you have to do things in certain order and not only was the stupid bus early but it came from the other direction!  Triple whammy out of the ball park!  Different driver, different time, and different direction.  Heaven help his teacher today as Levi I'm sure will talk to her about it non-stop all day.  Oy!!

Oh oy that is not all!  I run upstairs and open Henny Penny's room to get her up for school and am hit by a semi-truck full blast in the face with a smell that has me retching!  Crap?  Did the dog do something in here??  I tell Henny Penny to find the source ASAP!  I open her window and slam her door shut as the rest of the house starts to fill with the green haze of stink bomb.  Moments later her door opens and she walks down the stairs triumphantly holding several plastic cups.  As she walks out the front door to the trash she smiles and says, "Science experiment with the ditch water"!  I don't even want to know....................  seconds later a howl from Mr. M in the upstairs bathroom.  "I almost threw up!!!  Mom!  She dumped it down the sink and it reeks"!!  The whole house smells like crap now.  I don't even want to know what was in that ditch water that became Henny Penny's experiment.  She walks back in the front door and announces that the experiment was a flop.  A plop more like...........   

I would like to bring everyone's attention to the time.  It is now 9:24 AM.  That is what you see when you look at the clock.  What I see when I look at the clock is, "Rachel, you are a crappy mom"!  Henny Penny had a music class concert at 8:45 AM that went through 9:15 AM where the class was going to showcase how they are all learning to play the ukulele.  I am sitting here in my pajamas admitting that I am one of those crap parents who couldn't be bothered to come and support their child for their little program for a half hour.  A half hour!!!

Can't be bothered.  I've got ten bags packed.  Five under each eyeball and I'm going on vacation back to bed!

Finisher

Today as I started my run of seven miles I wondered why in the world I signed up for this marathon.  What was I thinking???

It is cloudy and grey outside, the wind is blowing in such gusts that at times I was held and running in place and at other times, I was thrown from my path sideways.  The wind is so cold and chilling that my fingers are still numb trying to type.

I was so focused on trying to keep my eye on the rocky path I was running on which is full of pot holes that it took me awhile to realize that I was hearing the waves of our lake crashing against the rocks below me.  I would try to glance up to see the magnificence and beauty but would have to turn my eyes back to the path to keep from tripping.

As I finished my seven miles I smiled and knew why I'd signed up for the marathon and was once again glad that I had.  At the end of the race, I'll be given a ribbon with the words, "FINISHER" on it.  I'm not fast.  I won't get any medals of placement.  That doesn't matter to me.  What matters to me is that one word.  FINISHER.

While I was running today I thought about the race we are in called life.  While I run, I come in the path of strong winds that make me feel like I am not getting anywhere or thrown off of the path, I come across potholes, I trip and fall sometimes scraping my knees, I run out of breath, get stitches in my side, sore muscles, wonder if I can go on and why I'm even trying to run, and then I remember that at the end of this race, I'll have a ribbon put around my neck that says, "FINISHER" and I can't wait to cross that finish line to get that ribbon knowing I've trained hard, done my best, and run a good race.

Eagle Scout

Mr. C finally had his Eagle Court of Honor!  He finished his project only like, several months ago!!!!  I've had his Eagle pin and patch and certificate for MONTHS.  Procrastination turned out to be a good thing this time though.  Because I was such a lame mom and couldn't get my act together, when we finally DID have Mr. C's court of honor, his grandparents (my parents) were able to attend!  I'm good!!

That beautiful lady pictured with Mr. C is my Mum!

Sadly, my Dad isn't pictured in any of these photos because he was the photographer who took all of these fantastic photos.   The man behind the camera.

I'm sorry but I had to post this photo.  Levi decided he needed to be up front with all of  us and wouldn't go and sit down.  Levi in his uniform cracks me up.  I can't help but giggle at his britches he insists on having pulled way up to his arm pits and his hat pulled down over his eyes.

Mr. C being sworn in.  Not swearing.  Sworn.  There's a difference.  I point this out because we had a discussion at the dinner table about, "The Bishop is going to swear at Mr. C"???  No, our Bishop is going to swear IN Mr. C!  Much relief.

Mommy, me, the Mum pinning on Mr. C's Eagle pin!  Wahoooo!  It's official!

Did I mention that it was freezing outside????  And that none of us were prepared which is uh, a scout is always what???  You'd think after all of the Eagles I've helped my boys earn.........  I'd be more prepared.  I wasn't.  Several who came to support Mr. C lent us blankets and coats.  Thank goodness!!  I was getting to the point where my teeth were chattering so hard my eyeballs were about ready to bounce out of my head and onto the grass.  That would be totally awkward!  I don't remember anywhere in the scout handbook it teaching how to replace bounced out eyeballs that have fallen onto the grass.

Giving Daddy a hug.  Daddy went with Mr. C over to Ghana, Africa to help Mr. C deliver all of the stuff he gathered and took over there.  I was supposed to go but went down in health so wasn't able to go.  LAME!

Mr. C pinning on a mentor pin on his Daddy.  Levi has yet to go and sit back down.  He's too busy flipping something (a rope?? who knows...) around.  Fascinating.

Mr. C telling us all how grateful he is for all who supported him.  Very nervous.  So cute.  Adorable when nervous.

Mr. C getting his new Eagle neckerchief.  I love this photo!  I love what it captures.  My Dad did a pretty dang good job me thinks.

The Eagle's Nest.  My four boys.  Yeah, I consider The SM one of my boys.  His Mum gets credit for helping him get his Eagle but I take credit for making him a man!  HA!  So, ahem.  Back at the ranch........  here sit my three oldest sons.  All Eagle Scouts.  I'm pretty proud of them.  They worked hard reaching this prestigious rank that so few reach.

Closing ceremony.  Mr. T carrying the American flag and Russell, I mean, Levi carrying the State of Utah flag.  (Anyone guess where the Russell reference came from)?????

Three Eagle sons........... only three more to go..................  Oy Vei!

Levi Says..............

If we are 'friends' on Face Book then you know that I often put up quirky/funny things that Levi says.  I know that many of you are missing out on these gems so I thought I would start posting them here.  

Levi Says....

Jadon to Levi: You need to go brush your teef.
Levi: Oops! I formembered.

Levi's philosophies at dinner this evening were astounding!
Levi: If you get bit by a tarantula and die then you'll be dead.
Levi: If you feed me and I eat this (burger) then I won't starve to deaf. (He says with a gleeful happy voice).

Levi: I juz love eating dead chickens................

Levi bringing in eggs from the chickens: I dropped one of the eggs mom and now there's yellow yuck on the ground. 
Me: It's called a yolk Levi.
Levi: No! It's yuck!
Me: Well, that too.........

Levi: If I eat so much then I get big and lay a baby.

Derby Time

I really thought we were going to finally after a gazillion years get out of having to make a Pine Wood Derby car.  Levi turned 11 which means he is no longer a Cub Scout.  He is a Boy Scout now but noooo.   Our local Cub leader brought Levi a car kit and told him since he barely had his birthday he can still compete.

Try telling Levi he can't race a Derby car.  Go ahead!  Try!  I did.  I whined.  I kicked.  I screamed.  I got down on my knees and begged and begged.  I offered to buy him a room full of balloons.  I offered to buy him a truck bed full of gum.

It's Derby Time.  No persuasion.  A car must be made.  A car must be raced.  You try telling Levi he can't be in the Pine Wood Derby!!!  Let's see how well you do!

So, The SM did what he does best.  He sat down with Levi and asked him what he wanted his car to look like.  A Star Wars X-Wing.  Alll riiiighty then!

Do you know how hard it is to help a child who doesn't have very good small motor skills and doesn't look at what he is doing/working on paint lines and stripes?  Ask The SM.  Patience.  Lots and lots of patience and a steady guiding hand.  Lots of love and encouragement.  This is what goes into making an awesome Pine Wood Derby car that took second place.

Prom 2013

My Mum has been waiting oh so patiently for these photos.  Prom took place over a week ago.  Things have been busy.  Prom took place and The SM was in the UK for over a week and I was up to my eyeballs in being busy and overwhelmed.  

Making Prom dinner has become a tradition.  It started with Mr. B and now it is Mr. T's turn.  It was just as exciting and fun putting on a dinner for Mr. T as it was for Mr. B.  

Mr. T looked amazing as you can see.  The boy wears a tux mighty fine.

Yeah.  That's my boy.  My handsome 17 year old boy who has always brought sunshine and laughter into our home.

The group.  Five couples who are wonderful individuals themselves.  Having these kids in my home is pure pleasure.  They give me such hope for the future.  Bright and capable youth and so well mannered.

I love candles.  You can't have too many candles and confetti.

Nice to know that all of my post-it note reminders on my cupboard door match the decorations.  I'm so good!!

Every year I make an addition to the decorations.  This year I bought glass tiki lights.  We set them up lining the walkway.  You can't see in these photos but they are different colored glass lanterns.  Blue, Gold, and Red.  Very pretty.

I wonder where my boys get their pyro craze from........

The couple.  Look at the flowers on Mr. T's date.  He bought her the most beautiful wrist corsage thingy.  What are they called when they are on their wrist?  Wristlet?  I dunno...........
(Do NOT look at the wallpaper I've started to pull off the wall so I can paint and redecorate--must focus on cute couple).

Handsome young man.  Beautiful young lady.  I love this kid!!

When Mr. T walked in the door after the Prom a little after midnight he walked into the kitchen and looked around.  While he'd been dancing the night away I had been scrubbing and cleaning everything up and putting everything away.  I'd just sat down finished when he walked in the door.  He looked at the kitchen and said, "It's all gone!  It's like it never happened"!  Well yeah!!!  It's midnight Cinderella!  All magic ends at midnight!    Get your mice and head to bed.  Tomorrow I've got  chores for you!!

The End!

Slow Down!!

A birthday.  Levi had a birthday and wanted to go to a place that is filled with trampolines with his friends.

For two hours they jumped all over this building.  Jumping requires one to keep a hold of one's pants if you don't want them to fall down which makes you stop, look around to see if anyone notices, say, "oops", and then yank your pants back up again.

In a screened off netted area there are rope swings that you can swing on.

Having your older sister there to help you is quite handy because Levi's mom was engrossed in a book most of the time on the sidelines.  Bladders that have been kicked by a gazillion babies don't like trampolines.. (just defending Levi's mom...........)

Eleven candles for a boy who has turned eleven!  Amazing!  Never would have thought several years ago that we'd make it to eleven.  Boy howdy am I glad we did!

Levi invited his friends to his party.  Almost all of them attended.  There was one.......  She didn't come.  Not that she didn't want to!!  It's just the trampoline place doesn't allow four legged critters to parties and the other friend Levi invited, her name is, "Cocoa" and she's Mr. D's dog.  Levi loves Cocoa.  Mr. D is pictured on the left standing next to Levi.  Standing on the right is Mr. O.  So secretive aren't we??

Levi wanted a black cake for his birthday.  We were quite puzzled.  A black cake?  He was so stressed that the store would be out of black cake!  He ran to where the cakes are and pulled out this chocolate cake.  Oh good!  They didn't run out of black cake!  :D  Ohhhhh!  Black cake is chocolate cake!!

Sorry.  Had to add a Zoe photo since she was an early birthday present for Levi.  This is how I feel at the end of the day.  Yawwwwwwn!!!

Happy Birthday Levi!!