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I'm not happy. Not one bit. I should be! I got what I wanted, I just don't like how it came about.
Why is that? Why is it we can want something really really bad and when we finally get it, if it isn't in our terms......then we're not happy with the results.
Yesterday I got up, (soooo didn't want to) got dressed, and ready for the day. I was going to wear some really comfy lounge around clothes because that is how I felt but knowing the task ahead of me, I dressed differently. I dressed in the most professional manner a stay at home mom who doesn't have a professional wardrobe can. I've been taught, that you dress how you want to be treated. If you're going in for a job interview, you dress as if you already have the job.
So, I dressed in a manner that meant business, take me serious, or I'll take you to the cleaners. No, I didn't dress in my kick boxing clothes.....but I sure felt like it!
The end results was I got what I wanted. I was treated with respect, professionally, and when I lay down the terms they weren't questioned. I did my homework, I had papers in hand to take it to the next level if need be. Thankfully, they weren't needed.
What did I win? Mr. C is home now. I'll be homeschooling him.....but not for reasons that any parent would want. As for the reason he is home......well.....let's just hope that the school holds up their end and takes care of the bully. It's not my problem anymore. My problem is taking a shattered wounded spirit and in the safety and security of our home, starting the slow process of healing and mending.
I love homeschooling! I just wish I were homeschooling because my health had improved and I was able to again. I am grateful though, that I can home school Mr. C and have been pouring over "stuff" trying to decide just where to start with only six weeks of school left! I can tell you this.......we'll be spending a lot of time reading.....and a lot of time outdoors. The outdoors and nature are great healers. Throw in some classics......some chocolate......I think we'll have Mr. C mended in no time!
Mr. C is your 7th grader, right? Oh, how I want to go crazy and tell you what anger I have towards parents whose children are bullies. I will simply say that if my kid was bullying and the school let me know about it (which they better have!!) I would make MY kid be home-schooled instead of making the parents of the kids who are bullied have to resort to it. Oh, seriously... don't get me started. I can feel the fires rising up in me and I'm going to go get a drink of water to put them out. I'm glad Mr. C has you for a mom. You rock.
ReplyDeleteOn a funnier note, here's an awesome article on the recent trend of kids being school-homed: http://www.theonion.com/articles/increasing-number-of-parents-opting-to-have-childr,17159/
(sorry, I don't know how to make it all cool and linky in a comment)
I worry about bullying. I just hope I will recognize the signs if my kids bully or are bullied.
ReplyDeleteI hope Mr. C heals completely! Glad that you were able to remove him from the situation.
oh, rach - you know you don't want me up on my soap box for this one. i will just say this: YOU ARE SO AWESOME. thank goodness for good ole' sunshine and the power of a good book.
ReplyDeleteBRILLIANT.
Why do kids have to be to be bullies? You have no idea how many conversations I have had with my kids about being nice to everybody. The bully's parents aren't always the culprit. Sometimes kids are just mean....and that makes me mad.
ReplyDeleteGerb, That article is awesome. I sent it to my family. Who ever wrote that has a great sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteYes, Mr. C is my 7th grader. I'm with you. If ever my child is mistreating anybody in ANY WAY I want to know about it. When I go to parent teachers conf.'s I don't care about the grades, (well, I do but...) I always ask the teacher if my child is behaving! If they're being a puke, I wanna know!
In this case, this is not the first time this child has had problems with the school. Why he has been allowed to continue I don't know. If it were only this kid then arrangements would have been made to remove him from the class and school but the problem is deeper now. Mr. C has a disability that hopefully he'll grow out of but in the meantime, it is a disability that when under stress it gets worse. Because of the bully situation it put Mr. C under such stress and emotional distress that the disability was noticed by other students in all of his other classes and was commented on and he was even shunned and told to go to the back of the room because he was 'bothering' them. It isn't something Mr. C can control and the more he fights it and tries to get it to stop it gets worse.
So, the best thing was to bring him home so he can relax in an environment where he feels safe and loved and hopefully his disability will go away over time.
Otherwise, I was ready to take legal action to have the other student removed if need be.
Chastina, That is what every parent hopes. Eventually we saw the signs with Mr. C but we wish he'd have said something months ago or we'd have recognized the signs months ago.... All I can say is watch your kids close. Any change in behavior might be a flag. Mr. C has always been difficult in he never talks so pulling information out of him is a chore. He needs to work on opening up!
Misty, I'm on the soap box with ya honey! Glad I have company up here. :)
Lyndee, I don't know....Insecurities usually. For what ever reason.
YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!! SO COOL!! THis is a Great, Great thing. Gerb - the school didn't let her know about it (as I remember) - C finally spilled. I told my mom about the bullies that had me cowering in 8th grade, and she did nothing. Rachel stood up and kicked trash. Her kids will honor her forever. And I'm not sure that home ed is recent - I started it in 1983 and I was on the coat tails of several others who had been doing it for years. Of course, in the history of the world, it was common.
ReplyDeleteKristen, Yes, my boy is home. Wish I'd have done it much sooner but you know the details so no use kicking myself while I'm down. Glad that he is home now.
ReplyDeleteK- I think you may have misread my comment. I'm totally on Rachel's team here! I promise! I was also bullied as a kid and I can NOT tolerate it in any form. Rachel is totally my hero.
ReplyDeleteAnd Rachel- I am the same at P/T conferences. I know how their grades are already - tell me about their behavior!
Send him back to 5th grade…I'd take one of your kids in my class in a heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the troubles.
Gerb, LOL! I'm sure I must come across as such a Gremlin mom at PT conf. but if one of The Native's is being a punk.....Oh man they are in doo doo and they know it!
ReplyDeleteUncle Rush, Be careful what you offer/say. You may regret it! :D I have several up and coming Native's still......
Today went really well with Mr. C. Even one day at home showed improvements with both his headaches and his other disability.
I'm sorry the circumstances have been sad, but what a blessing for your boy to have you for a mom! He will see the courage you have and will grow to be a courageous man.
ReplyDeleteRE a comment you left me: We DO need to talk homeschooling, don't we? scanrob at yahoo dot com
Poor sweet boy. He'll be much happier this way. How frustrating that things just aren't happy and safe for all kids. I'm glad you're taking care of him.
ReplyDeleteSo that's why he hasn't been on the bus... sorry about the bully problem, hope it gets taken care of!!
ReplyDeleteAnaise, Yes we do!! I'll e-mail ya and we can 'discuss'! :D
ReplyDeleteGinna, Having been through this, hopefully this will help Mr. C be more compassionate to others. Not that he isn't already but...personal experience always helps.
Hanna, I'm glad he's missed!
How could he be bullied? He's so nice! Nicest kid i ever did meet! I hope he heals soon...
ReplyDeleteEmma, Thank you my sweet Emma who is the sweetest I ever did meet!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a job for that coyote book. Oh. I hate it when the school system fails us and we have to take matters into our own hands - against our wishes. I'm looking at the same for next year.
ReplyDeleteReally. Six weeks and you're going to make him do school? For six lousy weeks???
Kathy, There is School and "school". So yeah, he'll do school for six more weeks. Coyote school. ;)
ReplyDelete