Function vs Beauty

A home with a special needs child takes on a completely different form/function than a home that doesn't have a child like Levi. It's all about safety, easy access, and easy clean up!

The furniture yanked out of the bedroom and stored all over the rest of the house.

Not a pretty floor. Makes the bright used to be cute green walls look very out of place. Should I repaint? Naw! The bright green is good camo for the booger art next to the bed.....

A vinyl bedroom floor. I don't think Martha Stewart will be calling me anytime soon.

Little Cotton Rabbits Easter Surprise

A package arrives all the way from the UK. It has a pretty label. What could possibly be inside?

A card, with a sweet note.

Christmas at Easter time! Very fitting. Happy wrapped packages.

Two packages for me.. (not pictured and I don't know why... cuz I'm lame, that's why).... a package for The Native's.

A package for my dear friend Kristen...

Frannie! This sweet little foxes name is Frannie!

Kristen got a little foxy loxy too! Showing off her panties. And Kristen says I'm a bit out of the barnish! I didn't flash my foxies panties.... just sayin....

The other packages I put in our Easter baskets and waited to open them. When we opened the tissue paper The Native's found bunny chocolate from the UK that tastes like chocolate should! And I found these cwute wittle hedge hogs!!

You need to go to Little Cotton Rabbits blog. The little animals she knits are unbelievable. Not only in how cute they are but down to every little detail. Perfection. Her finish work..... I envy.

That isn't the only reason to visit her blog though. Just getting to know Miss J is like sitting in your yard on a spring day, with warm sunshine on your back, sipping some sort of a pleasant drink, eating cookies, and having a pleasant conversation with a dear friend. Truly.

Sneak Peak

Whilst I am busy upstairs laying new floor in Levi's room...getting all sticky and covered in horrendous glue.....

The handsome, dashing, Mr. B

Here's a sneak peek at some prom photos.

Mr. B and his beautiful date Miss C.

The goofy yet beautiful youth who spent part of their evening in my home.




Makes me wanna be asked and dress up for prom!  I'd have to lose a few pounds first though which means I'll have to quit snitching The Native's Easter candy.......  never mind.  I don't need to go to prom.

When The Fairy Dust Wears Off.......

Dear Momma,

I know you told me there would be days like these....... I just didn't know there'd be so many in a row followed after nights like these...... 

Love,
Rachel

Friday night the egg dying began. The Easter bunny comes on Saturday at our house. Makes it so Sunday we can focus on the resurrection and spiritual aspects of the day.

Egg dying was always magical to me as a child. If I put my egg in for x amount of minutes..... how much darker can I get it?

I'd really wanted to try different ways of dying eggs this year. I'd seen a blog that showed you how to wrap your eggs in old silk ties and it left the dye from the tie on your egg. Pretty cool looking. Natural dyes. I'd wanted to try those this year too but, The SM had been out of town at the beginning of the week and I had sick little ones..... it just wasn't meant to be.

The one tradition I am NOT allowed to let slip is the egg bread. The braided bread that is full of colored Easter eggs. Like a colorful wreath. My adopted son from down the street dyed those eggs for me. How I managed to not get photos of the older Native's dying eggs is beyond me.... Might have something to do with spending hours and hours sewing an Easter skirt for Henny Penny that I didn't finish until late that night anticipating how cute she'd look at church the following day.

With The Native's all snuggled in bed, the Easter bunny was able to come and fill baskets to brimming with little treats and goodies and eggs that had been dyed such vibrant colors by The Native's were hidden through out the house.

The next morning, Saturday, I came downstairs. I saw something suspicious on the carpet. I moaned. Oh nooooo! I found more, and more. Egg shells and remnants of eggs that had been.....

The dogs. They'd not been tied up when the little Native's got up and they had gone to town. I was so mad at them! The three younger Native's had few eggs to find. The dogs had found and eaten most of them.

Knowing full well what would follow, I tied up the dogs not wanting to clean up any messes!

All day they stayed tied. That night, thinking if any eruptions were going to occur, they'd be over with by then, I let the dogs sleep with The Native's as they always do. Especially Levi's dog. It is important that Levi's dog be with him.

Sunday morning. Easter morning. I arose and came downstairs and started the Easter bread. I knew The Native's would love having the warm bread for breakfast. As I started to mix the ingredients, the dogs were let out of bedrooms and brought down stairs to be fed and taken out. They were acting strange. I started to investigate and was horrified at what I found.

Hours it took me to clean up the mess. I tried to keep the spirit of Easter. I was frustrated. The bread didn't get done in time. I tried to control my temper. It was Easter, we'd been building all week up to this point in our family each day making Passover week special. I lost it. I swore. Then I got mad at myself for swearing. I tried to calm down. I continued to clean up the mess. I yelled, I slammed a door, my feelings inside were raging.

I fell to my knees and poured out my heart to my Father. I didn't want that day to be as it had. I'd worked so hard all week building up to a day that I wanted to be a spiritual feast and I had driven the spirit out of our home because of my anger and temper. I wanted those feelings to go away.

Henny Penny was sick. The skirt I'd made.... she couldn't wear....

I went to church worn out.

The music started. The first hymn sung. My spirit started to relax. The meeting progressed and the choir sang hymns that were a balm to my soul. We came home and ate the Easter bread.  The Native's didn't care that they had it for lunch instead of breakfast. They dove into their baskets.

A metaphor perhaps? Life has lots of dog puke and doo doo in it, but thanks to the Savior's atoning sacrifice for us, He cleans it all up and makes it better.

Not a pretty spiritual Easter metaphor but one I learned yesterday. Even on crummy days like yesterday, He can make it better.

This message brought to you from the barn. This is Rachel speaking. Over and out!

Magic

I have always felt that children are forced to grow up too fast.  Childhood is such a short period of time and then the heavy responsibilities of adulthood weigh heavily for the majority of our lives.  This is one of the reasons that I have home schooled The Native's when possible.  I want my children to be children for as long as possible.

I am reading a biography right now about a WWII POW.  He was taken by the Japanese and at such a young age, went through and survived.  A time when a lot of young men would be considered in the prime of their lives, their twenties, was gone.  Child hood snatched cruelly from so many lives.  War and hard times will do that.

As we have celebrated Passover week and Easter weekend, I'm sure I come across as ridiculous putting together Easter baskets for the older Native's and as I sit here and watch them look for eggs hidden by the Easter Bunny I smile and enjoy that even though they know the truth, it is still a magical moment in their lives that they look forward to.  Allowing them to be children.

I know that in a year and a half, my oldest will be leaving the nest.  My oldest who has already had a lot of responsibility placed on his shoulders from a very young age.  Call me silly, but I enjoy giving him and the other Native's some childhood magic because I know that when the first leaves, the second will be perched ready to leave and then the next, and then the next........... and I will be left with The SM and God willing, Levi.

When that happens.........  watch out because I better have grand babies by then that will need some magic!

In The Meantime........

While my computer is still broken and I am borrowing another.......The SM is in Texas and so hasn't had time to fix my computer......... Kristen has thankfully written up a lovely post (no surprise there) about the pre prom goings on.  You can read all about it here and see photos she took of the event. 

I promise!  As soon as I get my computer fixed I will be posting photos of the lovely ladies in their finery.

Until then, I am up for two nights and two days now with a crying squirming little one with a tummy ache.  Even if my computer was working, I'm too busy holding him as he moans and twists and squirms trying to get his tummy to feel better.  I feel like I'm back to the typing with one hand while nursing days.  So, with that said, I bid you adieu........

Dear Momma

Dear Momma,

You've been calling and I've not been answering my phone so I know you are coming up with all sorts of horrible  imaginations as to the state of my well being.  I'm fine Momma.  It was a busy weekend.

My computer broke so I can't upload any photos to show you the shenanigans that went on here but I assure you, when I do, you will be inundated with them.

I know you are worried.  Last week was hard.  The Native's were home on spring break.  I had all sorts of plans but spent the time on the couch.  Monday and Tuesday I was unstable.  Felt like if I sneezed I'd go into a fit of seizures so I just did what I do best and kept the couch from sneaking across the floor. 

You'll be proud of me.  Wednesday I woke up and it was the first day I didn't feel unstable.  When The SM called at lunch and I told him that, he said, "Let me guess, you're out killing yourself working in the yard then."  For once, I didn't.  I stayed on that horrid old couch and continued to rest.  I wanted to put all my energy into Saturday.  You remembered didn't you?  Mr. B had prom on Saturday?  Yeah.  Mr. B, his date and four other couples came to the house for prom dinner.

Anyway, I rested on Wed.  On Thursday, Kristen and Charlotte drove me around to go grocery shopping and to get some more decorations to add to last years stash.  By the time I got home, I was unstable again.  Now that just irritates me something else.  You can take a lot away from me but if I have to give up shopping too...... well, that just might break this camel's back!

So, I rested some more.  Friday, I again rested.  I needed to go to Cost-Co to pick up a few last minute items and Mr. B's tux at the tux store.  Laws he looked smashing.  You'd have been drooly proud of your grandson.  Looked like a million bucks!

The camel's back 'bout broke.  Came home and dropped dead on the couch again.  Oh Cost-Co...... how could you be too much for me???  I have to say, I was a might discouraged at that point.  How was I to put on prom dinner for Mr. B and all his fancies the next day?

I'll tell you how.  I woke up on Saturday and I said a prayer.  I asked Heavenly Father to help me.  I told Him I wanted to do this for Mr. B real bad and would He help me.   I got up and studied my scriptures for a bit and then I went to work.  The Native's and The SM pitched in and we flew all day like sixty.  I kept going like I'd never been sick in my life!

Kristen and Charlotte came a few hours before the guests and helped me decorate, cook, and do dishes. 

The guests arrived....... they looked like a fairy tale.  It was wonderful.  I served them and then I went and sat on my old beat up can't live without me couch and I marveled.  I'd had a great day.  The guests left after much thanking and telling me how wonderful the food was and how the boys wanted to marry in my family so they could eat my cooking.

Time to clean up.  The SM helped me and I fell into bed awhile later while The SM waited up for prince charming.

Yesterday, Sunday I awoke and felt like I had before Saturday.  Now, some might look at this and say I'd over done it but here's what I think Momma.  I think, that God heard my prayer and answered it in a big way.  That is what I think.  I'd had a hard go of it the previous Saturday with my shake rattlin' and rollin' and that takes a lot out of me.  All week I'd been going through the usual recovery process.  Heavenly Father gave me a gift.  He gave me Saturday so I could do something for my Mr. B.  He knew me putting on prom dinner was important so He gave me that day. 

I thought about that all day yesterday.  I tried to go to church but ended up coming home part way when I felt the shake rattle and rollin' starting to want to rear it's ugly head again. 

There's lots of ugliness in this world of ours Momma but I know one thing.  God hears and answers our prayers.  Nothing ugly about that.

Now stop your worryin' Momma.  I'm doing just fine. 

Love,
Rachel

Awwww! It Was Just A Dream!

I have no idea what is going on with my dreams this week.  Wowza!  Twilight music playing in the background.....

Dreams are funny to me.  Some mornings, I can wake up so ticked off and mad even though I know it was just a dream, and what ever took place did not happen......

Did you ever have dreams when you were a child where you thought there were spiders or ants in your bed and when you awoke, you searched and searched, couldn't find any, but swore you could still feel them crawling all over you!!!?

What is it about night where you become covered in the shadow of a dream that you can't shake until the day awakens and then the feeling leaves and you shakily laugh and are glad that that was just a dream!?

Or like last night when I awoke this morning all giddy and then as my eyes opened and took in the light in the room I realized that dang it!  It was just a dream.........  and try as you might, you can't sink back into it.

Dreams...... funny stuff.....  Most dreams I think of just that.  Funny stuff.  But I do know that some have meaning.   Those I write down and keep in a dream journal.  They're different though. 

Somehow, I don't think there is a whole lot of meaning in the dream that I had last night other than it made me giddy when I woke up.  I'll take giddy over ticked any day. 

Phew! It Was Just A Dream!!!

Morning.  Blessed oh blessed morning when you wake up and realize that it was just a dream.  Your stomach can unknot itself and your toes can uncurl.

Horror of horrors.  We moved.  We didn't want to.  We were forced to move.  We felt betrayed.  We had to move to a land of creepy crawlies.  Dessert.  Snakes.  Snakes in my bathroom when we'd open the doors. 

I didn't know the snakes from that land so I didn't know if they were poisonous.  Who cares?  They are snakes?  They are all poisonous!

Lizards.  Huge Godzilla lizards everywhere. 

I couldn't handle it.  I felt so betrayed by those who made us move, even though we asked them not to vote for us to move.  I begged and pleaded for them to see the bigger picture and not to vote for us.

They voted.  Betrayed.

I awoke.  I was in my own bed!  I didn't live in a land of creepy crawlies!  There wasn't a vote!  There was no betrayal!



I'm thinking............ watching, "The Biggest Loser" before I go to bed might not be such a good idea.....  especially when the person who is voted off, I didn't want voted off the show!!!!

Yeah. We Pretty Much All Rock!

The trip to Washington to see my baby sis did have a purpose other than sitting around till all hours laughing our heads off as our IQ's dropped by the second. This little guy, my nephew, Mr. W turned eight. In our religion, eight is a pretty big birthday. One of several. Eight is when we are baptized and Mr. W's baptism was last weekend along with his birthday. Big day!

Oh what do we have here? What could Mr. W's rockin' awesome aunties get him?

Yeah. We pretty much rock in the awesome auntie business.

Have you seen the movie, "Tangled"? If you have, you'll know the whole smolder look. Mr. W likes to give ya the smolder....



The smolder.......

Being the responsible aunties that we are, we told Mr. W that under no circumstances, was he allowed to skate board without a brain bucket. We rock like that too.

Mr. W isn't the only one who can dish out the smolder look. My baby sis, his momma can too.

Most mommas teach their kids to ride a bike. Not my baby sis. The girl can board!

She's a good momma. My sis above me in age (I've got to figure out a title for her, sis above me in age is too much to type) watched my baby sis with her kids all weekend and enjoyed watching her interact with her kids. She's a really good momma.

High five! Well, sorta... We'll work on that next.

Check out those calves!!!!

Yeah. My baby sis rocks.

I think Mr. W liked our gift. We had to sneak in while he was asleep and sneak this photo. Yeah,  sniff, we rock!

Threading

When you hear the word threading what do you think of? Threading a needle? Before visiting my sister that is pretty much all I thought of.

My baby sis told me about a new way of having your eye brows plucked that we just had to try. It was way better/kinder to your skin than waxing and plucking.

Did we wanna try it? You bet! We were up for adventure. I have to say, it is the oddest thing in the world. The person doing the threading puts one end of actual sewing thread in their mouth and wraps the rest around their fingers and then they go to work threading your eyebrows.

This is where I am being told that I do a crappy job plucking and when I get home, I need to find a threading kiosk in my own mall.  STAY AWAY FROM THE TWEEZERS!  You're not good at it.

It sounds like when you take your finger nail and rub it along a zipper. Bizarre right?

But oh so totally cool and a fun new experience to share with my sisters. The gal who did mine, she owned the kiosk in the mall. She was gorgeous and had gorgeous eye brows. I knew I was in good hands.

My baby sis and sis above me in age had this guy do theirs. Don't ask me what he is doing in this photo. He is goofy when his photo is taken but when it comes to eye brows..... he knows his stuff. My baby sis asks for him all the time because he does such a great job.  So do many others.  You wouldn't believe the line of people waiting to have their eye brows done.  Men and women!  As many men as women.  Seriously! 

My baby sis took over the camera while I was having my eye brows threaded. Meanwhile, my other sister sat and watched our stuff and did what she enjoys. People watching. I just love to sit and people watch.   I get the biggest kick out of it! So does my sister.

Especially when this mall cop walked by. Giggling. We felt very safe with his all of 100 pounds walking around. We felt very safe, as long as a breeze didn't come along and blow him away.....

Done! Magnificent don't you think?

Tender Mercies

Last Wednesday I hopped on an airplane and headed for Washington to spend the next several days with these ladies. My mom, my sister above me in age, and my baby sis.

We had a blast. As always, the trip ended much too soon and we are already planning the next time we can get together.

Over the next few days I'll probably post and talk about the fun things we did but because of a major incident that was NOT in the plans..... I am going to talk about why I love my sisters and mommy so much.

We're crazy. We have a blast when we get together.  When the stakes are down and we need each other, even though we are miles apart, somehow, they've always been there for me. Have I always been there for them? I don't know. I hope so....

I've not had a seizure in almost a year I think. I think the last one I had was after our car accident last May. I've had some near misses but I've been able to work through them and haven't gone into one. It has been wonderful. Before last Saturday, I would have told you I thought they were something in the past. Hallelujah!!!

Saturday evening, my parents, my baby sis and her husband and in laws, my sis right above me, and I went to the temple. In our religion, we believe in temples and try to go to them often. To be able to go with my family is a wonderful treat as again, we all live so far apart.

While in the temple, I went into hard full blown seizures. Several with very little break in between. Because of the circumstances and how quickly they came on, I wasn't able to get out of the room full of people that we were in. Over all, I think the whole process lasted over a good hour or so.

My mother and my sisters quietly and discreetly rallied around me and using their bodies to protect me from view of others, proceeded to spend that time working with me and helping me. Comforted and surrounded by those who I love so dearly.

Today, I am back home in Utah. The sky is blue, The Native's have spring break. I am on the couch, deeply fatigued, stiff, and sore. I wish I could be enjoying this day with The Native's off playing somewhere.  I should be feeling down, frustrated, and depressed but instead, my heart is happy and all I can think about is that in my time of need, my sisters and mother were there. Tender mercies....

I Get It!

In response to my post yesterday, a friend sent me this link. I find it dead on and very fitting. Enjoy! It is worth the ten minutes of your time.

Material Things. They are just that. Things.

I used to care. I still do I guess, maybe it is just that I am tired and I know that no matter how hard I try, it will get destroyed in the end.

I'm talking about material things. BL and AL. Life Before Levi, and life After Levi was born.

I've been complimented many a time, BL, on how well I took care of things. The SM works hard and I tried really hard showing him I appreciated how hard he works by taking care of the things he provided us with. I am also very sentimental. Things that have been given to me either as a gift or handed down... I cherish.

Don't get me wrong, I still do, it's just, I look at things differently now. Here, let me show you.

My beautiful lace curtains my sister gave me. Levi couldn't see out so he cut them right up the center. Thanks Amelia Bedelia...

The banister. They are over rated right?

The wall next to his bed that we keep patching up.  The brand new sheets he cut up, not pictured, they went into the trash.

Darling curtains. What? You don't see them? Oh riiiight. Well, that is because Levi ripped them down. Several times. I gave up. I gave up right after he ripped them down and then took the matching lamp shade that was on a cute lamp and ripped it apart. Pink fringe all over the carpet.

Henny Penny's dresses. Sashes. Good thing Levi cut them all off for her because any girl knows, sashes just get in the way, especially when trying to use the biffy!

Henny Penny's American Doll horse. It had a nose...

When one kicks the bottom of a door repeatedly.... this is bound to happen.

I love hanging my clothes out on the clothes line. The smell when I bring them in..... the latest cutting catastrophe. My clothes line, every wire, has been cut, and they are all now hanging on the ground.

Levi's new wagon. He had it all of a day before it broke. Admittedly this wasn't his fault really. They don't make toys like they used to. His old Little Tykes wagon lasted for years. The Radio Flyer.... minutes.

See what I mean? All material stuff. I've learned, or as I said, maybe I'm just tired, that it doesn't matter. If I really really care about something, it goes away in a box for safe keeping, only........ what is the point if something is shoved away in a box never to be looked at and enjoyed? When I die, I can't take it with me. It is just stuff!

The material stuff anyway...... this though, a little body covered in scars because of this....... this I can't ignore and not care about. This I try really hard to protect and care for. Most days I feel like it is a losing battle. But I keep trying.

Because this I will have in heaven. For eternity. This little child who resides in a really big body. This little boy who still wants to be held and cuddled and looks ridiculous on my lap in all of his 100 pounds, this is worth every ounce of energy I can put forth into preserving and caring for. Holding and cuddling with this sweet boy, makes all of that other stuff...... not a big deal. Frustrating! But not a big deal.