I'm talking about material things. BL and AL. Life Before Levi, and life After Levi was born.
I've been complimented many a time, BL, on how well I took care of things. The SM works hard and I tried really hard showing him I appreciated how hard he works by taking care of the things he provided us with. I am also very sentimental. Things that have been given to me either as a gift or handed down... I cherish.
Don't get me wrong, I still do, it's just, I look at things differently now. Here, let me show you.
My beautiful lace curtains my sister gave me. Levi couldn't see out so he cut them right up the center. Thanks Amelia Bedelia...
The banister. They are over rated right?
The wall next to his bed that we keep patching up. The brand new sheets he cut up, not pictured, they went into the trash.
Darling curtains. What? You don't see them? Oh riiiight. Well, that is because Levi ripped them down. Several times. I gave up. I gave up right after he ripped them down and then took the matching lamp shade that was on a cute lamp and ripped it apart. Pink fringe all over the carpet.
Henny Penny's dresses. Sashes. Good thing Levi cut them all off for her because any girl knows, sashes just get in the way, especially when trying to use the biffy!
Henny Penny's American Doll horse. It had a nose...
When one kicks the bottom of a door repeatedly.... this is bound to happen.
I love hanging my clothes out on the clothes line. The smell when I bring them in..... the latest cutting catastrophe. My clothes line, every wire, has been cut, and they are all now hanging on the ground.
Levi's new wagon. He had it all of a day before it broke. Admittedly this wasn't his fault really. They don't make toys like they used to. His old Little Tykes wagon lasted for years. The Radio Flyer.... minutes.
See what I mean? All material stuff. I've learned, or as I said, maybe I'm just tired, that it doesn't matter. If I really really care about something, it goes away in a box for safe keeping, only........ what is the point if something is shoved away in a box never to be looked at and enjoyed? When I die, I can't take it with me. It is just stuff!
The material stuff anyway...... this though, a little body covered in scars because of this....... this I can't ignore and not care about. This I try really hard to protect and care for. Most days I feel like it is a losing battle. But I keep trying.
Because this I will have in heaven. For eternity. This little child who resides in a really big body. This little boy who still wants to be held and cuddled and looks ridiculous on my lap in all of his 100 pounds, this is worth every ounce of energy I can put forth into preserving and caring for. Holding and cuddling with this sweet boy, makes all of that other stuff...... not a big deal. Frustrating! But not a big deal.
whew. i am so grateful i read this today. thank u rachel.
ReplyDeleteI think im starting to understand this...it a very real feeling that cant be taught. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYou are my good girl.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what's important. People can feel uncomfortable with a person who knows that - I think that all of us, down deep, understand what is really important. But the important things cost so much - easier to value things that you can buy and look at and that never break your heart.
My mother used to say, "people are more important than things." Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love that kid and your perspective. My mother would say, "She's got her head on straight." and I would agree.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to tell you that the Gum Ninja visited during Den meeting on Tuesday too. I laughed when Mr. M brought it back and I realized I had no clue it was even gone. He's good- that Gum Ninja!
PS- My word verify is "tests". Appropriate for how well you deal with life "AL". I say you pass with flying colors.
My house looks so very much like your house--damaged curtains, broken stair bannister, broken toys, dented doors and all. Sometimes I get so mad and sad over the state of things around here, but then I remind myself that it is just stuff.
ReplyDeleteI am teary-eyed with sympathy and gratitude that I am not alone!!! No one in my house has AHS, but we have other issues to deal with. And, oh, how I love, love, love my children in spite of it all!
Thanks for this post.
Misty, Thank you for being my friend despite me being me! :D
ReplyDeleteAlex, Some people never learn it. Kinda sad..
Kristen, The heart. It is such a difficult thing. To feel such love, it must feel such pain... I don't like that part, but to feel the feelings that I feel, it is worth it. This whole earthly learning experience. It is worth it..
Korrie, Your momma is a wise woman. Sometimes I forget and get worked up over things.
Nat, LOL! I heard about the gum. I'm so sorry. When I heard Levi had gum I wondered who in the world he'd kyped it from. He is such a pill!!! Did he take any?
Anaise, Oh you are so not alone. I would imagine that our house holds have a whole heck of a lot more in common than not. Yes, rest assured, I am here in this journey along with you going through pretty close to the same things.
Jody, I don't know why either? Maybe because human life we don't have any control over so we try to have control over something!!
Curtains. At least he cut them in the middle. Some curtains come that way. Banister. Mine looks like that too. I think it's the home builders that are at fault. Most of the rest of it. Maybe you should hide the scissors - I detect a pattern in your message.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a Levi and my house is just as bad.
Thankyou for this post and I love the last photo :-). None of us are immune to boys, my house is the same and Culllen is forever being disappointed by today's crappy toy standards. Of it's broken we know who touched it but like you say its just things and his smoochy kisses goodnight sure make up for it. :-)
ReplyDeleteKathy, LOL! Yes! The scissors are major partners in crime and should I get rid of them all? I wish it were that simple.....
ReplyDeleteJenni, None of us are immune. You're right. The nice thing is thank goodness we have little reminders running around helping put things into perspective for us. :D
Thanks for teaching me Rachel. Your beautiful patience (which I'm sure at times seems like old news to you) opens up new mental doors for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking time to express this too.
M
Mr. M, Thank you for telling me I am patient. Somedays... I don't feel that way so much.
ReplyDeleteYour sweet Levi sounds like he has many lessons to impart. Lessons that, through your sharing, have a ripple effect. That is a gift. He is a gift.
ReplyDelete