I have always felt that children are forced to grow up too fast. Childhood is such a short period of time and then the heavy responsibilities of adulthood weigh heavily for the majority of our lives. This is one of the reasons that I have home schooled The Native's when possible. I want my children to be children for as long as possible.
I am reading a biography right now about a WWII POW. He was taken by the Japanese and at such a young age, went through and survived. A time when a lot of young men would be considered in the prime of their lives, their twenties, was gone. Child hood snatched cruelly from so many lives. War and hard times will do that.
As we have celebrated Passover week and Easter weekend, I'm sure I come across as ridiculous putting together Easter baskets for the older Native's and as I sit here and watch them look for eggs hidden by the Easter Bunny I smile and enjoy that even though they know the truth, it is still a magical moment in their lives that they look forward to. Allowing them to be children.
I know that in a year and a half, my oldest will be leaving the nest. My oldest who has already had a lot of responsibility placed on his shoulders from a very young age. Call me silly, but I enjoy giving him and the other Native's some childhood magic because I know that when the first leaves, the second will be perched ready to leave and then the next, and then the next........... and I will be left with The SM and God willing, Levi.
When that happens......... watch out because I better have grand babies by then that will need some magic!
The really neat thing is that these kids will go on to pass that magic--YOUR magic, flavorful and full of delighted wonder--onto their children. Your love will touch generations.
ReplyDeleteThe best moms are the ones who are awake. And the ones who are awake hold their children in their hands like gold. Sometimes, when I had young kids, it was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning. It's that way for all of us. But along with the slogging and the constant attention to character and discipline and nutrition and safety and health, there has to be a HUGE dose of personal investment in the soul and personality of each child.
ReplyDeleteKids should NOT have to be their own parents. They should have parents who really pay attention to them. Mothers who do not put their own lives first - yeah,yeah, sharpen the saw and all that, but job 1 is the raising of, the teaching of, the watching over, the yelling at, the celebrating with children EVERY minute, not just a couple of hours a day - after REAL life takes place.
I know that some people ache to be there, but have to work. But I also know that a lot of people work to escape the complexities and stresses of living with kids. FLAT OUT: it's an investment, and the more delight and talk and imagination you invest, the bigger the payoff in the end. May I just say that 50 years goes by like a train on steroids? And kids only live with you for about twenty of those?
I can say that I am deeply grateful to my mother for being there: she was there when I needed a band-aid and when I needed lunch, and when I needed someone to sing with, or yell at me, or make suggestions, or tell me to get the heck my homework done. She was there. She saw it all. I didn't have to make all my own mistakes - she, with her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing, she prevented a lot of them. She was a quiet monster. And I will honor her for that every minute of my life.
You describe beautifully how these traditions play out with older children who still need them for reassurance even though they know it's kind of silly kid stuff.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about kids growing up too fast. So do a lot of child development folks. You are really serving your Natives by allowing them the time they deserve, the time they wouldn't get in our school systems. I would have liked to have been you. But I worked (in child care, ironically) and didn't have a spouse. I saw the benefits of home schooling (with Kristen's creative children, for example), but I didn't pull it off. YOU GO SISTAH!
Want to know my pet hate.....all those xbox, DS, computer games that keep the kids from being kids. They need the time out to play imagination games and role model life for themselves and they don't get it when they sit in front of those bloody machines. I agree they grow up too fast!
ReplyDeleteTime travels far too quickly...
ReplyDeleteChazi, Just like your momma's magic. You are all passing that on....
ReplyDeleteKristen, It is hard work but the pay off is so huge! I see it in so many who have set good examples for me, my parents included.
I know my kids have seen and been through some hard things that other kids do not have to go through but I watch them and see how it has made them better and stronger and only hope that the times when I try to take the burden from their little shoulders and let them be kids...... I hope it evens out.
Ginger, You are one of those that had to work but I know you gave your heart and soul to your kids and didn't just sit in front of the tv or what have you when you got home ignoring your kids. You've been a tremendous mommy. Your children are blessed.
Jenni, LOL! ME TOO!!!!! Fri. and Sat. are the only days here that The Native's can play them. As much as I hate them..... the rest of the days of the week I want them outside exploring and playing. I think mine is more than a pet peeve. It's an all outright hate!!
Anony, So make the best of the trip and have some fun while we're at it hey?
I'm not very good at making magic . . . but I'm working constantly at trying to be aware when magic happens because I agree that childhood is so very precious. My oldest is in such a desperate hurry to grow up--she's so sure that the grass is greener . . . but yesterday as she ran hunting eggs with her younger siblings and cousins, she dropped her grown-up facade and was just plain excited. I like to see that! We will maintain childhood traditions for a very long time, too.
ReplyDeleteJody, I try. I don't always succeed, but I try.
ReplyDeleteAnaise, You do well creating magic in your home. I read about it most every day. The way you are raising your girls...... there is a lot of magic there!!!