Knit Pickin'

I had to post this photo of these socks for Miss Wabi.  She'd posted some on her blog (click here to see them.  Her photo is way better as it is featuring little gnome feet.) so yeah..... this is for you Wabi!

This is supposed to be a sleeve.  If all goes well.............. 

 Anyway!  It is that time of year.  That time crunch time when the holidays are fast approaching and all the time in the world that you thought you had to make home made gifts is running out and...

Front and back of what is hopefully going to be the sweater that the above sleeve will be attached to when I finish both sleeves.  That is the plan...........  me and plans........ we don't always go together accordingly.  I'll keep you posted.

 You wonder what in tarnation you were thinking because you do this ever. single. year!

I find it impossible to knit something without writing all over the pattern.  Can you??  If you can, how do you keep it all together?  I can't keep anything together!

Proof!!  I went to download photos of my knitting and found THIS!  Youngest native so excited about the tower he'd built apparently took my camera and documented it!  Only, his tower is blurry and my disgusting bathroom is in full focus.

This, my friends, is my life in a nutshell!  The once, your house is so clean you can eat off of your kitchen floor!!!!......... is now reduced to, (I'm yelling from another place in the house so this is why all caps) DON'T FORGET TO CHECK THE SEAT BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN AND THERE ARE CLOROX WIPES ON THE BACK OF THE TOILET IF THERE IS A MESS FOR WHICH  I AM SORRY!  WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!  Oh, and while you're at it Cloroxing my toilet for me, can you just Clorox the entire bathroom?  Thanks for visiting me!  Come again soon!  GO CUBS!

Weekly Letter From the Philippines!

Elder Rubow and his two 'brothers' he's grown to love over in the Philippines.  

 Transfers week!!  And it is going to be the hardest two transfers of my mission.  I am a trainer!  or here in the mission tatay.  My companion just arrived to the mission on thursday and it has been a roller coaster ever since.  My companion is elder -----------.  He is a Filipino and guess what, he cannot speak english or the mission language so President told me to teach him english.  whooo!  Im pretty stoked for that.  This last week went by very fast.  We are mostly focusing those investigators that are preparing for baptism.  We have two for this week and it should be awesome!  They are both very awesome and very close friends.  We have one more for the 29th of this month and we are hoping for up to 3-4 more for next month.  So yes things are going well.  I am so glad that I have this opportunity to be able to train this missionary.  Yes it will be challenging but we can do it.  so short letter for today.  Thanks for all you do!  you are a child of God. Yes we all do have trials but those are the true testing points so we can prove ourselves.  I love ya and  I hope to hear from you next week!

Elder Rubow

Elder Rubow and his new companion.

Depression and Suicide

Not a very exciting topic, is it?  Depression.  Suicide.....

I read a book recently called, "Life, In Spite of Me:  Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice" by Kristen Jane Anderson, Tricia Goyer   It's a very eye opening read.  A book full of hope.  There has been one thing that has stuck out to me the most and I can't seem to forget even though I read this book awhile ago, and that is this:

The author is a teenage girl who while struggling with depression, decides to end her life by laying down on the tracks of an oncoming train.  She thankfully, isn't successful but does end up losing her legs.  As she comes to in the hospital, she is surrounded by family and loved ones.  They all tell her how much they love her, how grateful they are that she is still with them, that God loves her........  and she wonders to herself, "Where were you when I needed to hear this before?  When I needed to hear these things before, why didn't you tell me these things?"

Where were you??  This has resonated in my mind.  Where am I?  Where am I when my loved one's and friends need to hear that they are loved and cared about?  Do I tell those around me that I love them?  That I appreciate them?  Do I tell them to their face?  Do I reach out my arms and hug enough?

I know that I can do better......

Brag Post.

I have been sharing emails with you from my son Mr. T (second eldest son) who is serving a mission for our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and bragging about how proud I am of my son.

Mr. B, is my eldest son and it is his turn for me to brag about him.   Mr. B is fighting a battle.  A battle for his life.  Literally.  He has started a blog and is writing about this fight.  I've not talked about Mr. B and the struggles he's had over the years because of privacy but since he has chosen to write about what he is going through and has gone through, I can now stand here in as a proud parent and tell you how much I love this boy who has struggled for so long with an addiction to pornography.  Yes, my son has a sexual addiction.  Yes, my son has struggled with depression.  Yes, my son has struggled with thoughts and attempts of suicide.  This has been a long battle that started when he was about 8 or 9.  He is now 21 in December and still fighting.

Mr. B has started his blog knowing that he will be judged.  He will be shunned by those who pretended to be his friend.  He might even be harassed/bullied.  He knows this.  But, despite knowing this, he is picking himself up, standing up, looking the world in the face, and saying, "I have an addiction.  I've let it beat me for years.  It stops now".

There have been many battles in this war Mr. B is fighting.  It is wearying.  It is exhausting.  As his mother, I have watched him, cried with him, held him, worried over him, lost sleep over him, prayed over him, and never stopped loving him.  I am proud of my son.  Yes, my son has an addiction.  It's a difficult addiction, but this addiction does not define my son.

My son, Mr. B is kind, sensitive, caring, hard working, and an example to all of being a fighter and not giving up.

Have I mentioned how proud I am of my son?!  I am.  I am SO proud of Mr. B!  He brings me and The SM and our family such joy.

His blog if you'd like to read/follow and encourage him in his fight:  http://myfinalstand.blogspot.com/

Just a warning.  It is honest and brutal.  Mr. B doesn't hold back.  It may come across offensive to some.  And that's okay.

This Week's Letter From the Philippines

So....I was planning on catching you...but the world had other plans!  We had a service project for one of our investigators which lasted till about 12 here.  We are repairing his porch which was destroyed a good month ago.  Twas pretty fun!  Working with bamboo was a new experience  for sure!  I am so thankful now for the nails in america.  You think those bend easily?  Try it here haha!

So Halloween looked pretty fun!  I hope everyone had fun!  Ours was just another work day.  So I am not ever going to promise that I will be there but I really hope next week I will.  (Mommy note: On the Internet to chat with me which not gonna lie, is the highlight of my week!)  So by next week I will have a new companion and I may very well be training him.  It will be a very interesting week!  Ill find outThursday.  So here is the weekly fun and I love you and everyone and I hope to catch you next week!  Love ya!!

So big hurray!  I am done with training!  Its been a good 12 weeks and now its time to move on.  My trainer will be leaving this coming Thursday which means that I will be getting a new companion.  And from what I have heard I have a very big chance of training..I am super excited actually!  I have a long way to go and I really hope that this will increase my language a ton in the next two transfers. But then again, we will not know until Thursday!  

Well, to start of the week last Monday was a very fun!  It was a mutli zone 'olympics'  Every district represented a country and we all competed in certain events.  It was way fun!  We had ping-pong, basketball, races and so forth.  At the end we had an award ceremony for everyone.  After that we got ready for the week such as food.  Tuesday was also very fun!  We had our regular district meeting and right after we were all invited to a wedding that was about to start.  And of course weddings mean food so how could we decline?  I must say, the food was very good!    Oh, and of course it was nice seeing two people getting married.  Jokes lang!!  It was very interesting wedding and everyone was happy and laughing.  I have had the excellent opportunity to be friends with a lot of the people at the wedding.  Im very glad we had the opportunity to be there.

Wednesday and Thursday was a blur!  I hardly remember what happened.  We have been really focusing on a few of our investigators that are getting ready for baptism this coming month.  Brother -------- and Sister ------- WILL be baptized on Nov. 15.  They were very clear on the will.  Then Brother --------- will follow on the 29th.  We are hoping for a lot more for December so we can have a 'white Christmas'  We have 5 investigators that we are aiming to be baptized on the 25th.  I am aiming to double or even triple that number within the next 3 weeks.  Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

Friday was Halloween!  But since we dont have Halloween here I got some candy.  We had some good success with a few of our investigators but a lot of them are hitting the trials point and are dropping.  Its always the saddest part of serving a mission when a investigator either one, calls and says they are done, or 2, just stops progressing.  We have a lot more finding and searching to do now.  We are hoping that the ward will produce more referrals for us.  Thats always the best!  They usually already have a head start and do very well in the church.  

Saturday was the real holiday.  Its called 'All Saints/Souls Day'  Everyone goes to the cemetery to remember their ancestors or close friends who have passed away.  Then they go home and make deep Filipino food called 'suman'  Basically sticky rice with sugar.  Its pretty good stuff actually!  Aroz ala valenciana is another one that was very good!  I cant really describe it though.  Its mostly just meat and rice.  I need to figure out how to make it because it is really good!  Then at night they put candles out as an invitation for their ancestors to come in and they have a plate of food left out for them as well.  The ants eat very well on this day I must say.  :)  Since everyone was gone we had very little success this day.  

Sunday was very good as well!  We had an awesome broadcast by Elder Dallin H. Oaks for the Philippines.  It was very strong and full of love!  I love how clear he is when speaking.  He spoke mostly on the culture of the Philippines and how we can make it more in harmony of the gospel culture of Jesus Christ.  Twas very well done.  

And that ends the week!  I am so thankful again for this opportunity to serve the people here in the Philippines!  It is so much fun and I learn so much from these people.  I love being a missionary!  

Elder Rubow 

Philippines. No Photos. Don't Need Em. Good Stuff!

October 27, 2014

(Mommy note:  I love how each week his English gets worse and worse.  Means he's learning the languages quickly over there in the Philippines!) 

So....sorry but I dont have any pictures for you this week. My batch mate is using it right now so...next week lang. :) Sorry for missing you! We had a awesome Zone Activity before transfers. It was the Missionary Olympics. (My district won.) It was way fun! But we didnt get done till about 2pm here which is way past midnight over there. So...yeah! I hope everything is going alright. I have indeed been getting some mail though! I don't know how much I actually get though and if some is just missing or you forgot so I hope you are saving them all. Ill send you my weekly email so you can know what up though. Its been very interesting week. I finally got your spill on Elder Bednars talk or book or thing. It was very good! I am going to look into it some more. So next time we talk it will be November....then December....then Christmas....I am looking forward to being able to talk to you all! My english is downright terrible though so dont be laughing at me. Ummm....Not too much is new this week. I love you so much as well! All of yall! For you information. I have no idea when I can get on the cpus. I try to get here but we have had a bunch of activities lately. I don't think we have one next week so we should be able to chat next week unless an emergency happens. I doubt something will though. Anyway, floods are fun! Playing frogger with real frogs is fun! And its all fun. Im hoping to pick up fishing here too! We shall see how that goes though. We can though! Its not bawal! Love ya!!

This week was a very strange but pretty fun week! I am finishing up my training now which is amazing! It seems just like yesterday since we got here on the island and now we are leading our areas. The week started off with a District activity in Lapaz B. We all got together around the ocean and played games, made amazing food, and just enjoyed eachothers company. It was way fun! Then Elder -------- got sick. He was incredibly sick for three days so we did not teach a single lesson for those three days. But very interesting, we got one of our recent investigators back! He had a baptismal date of the 25th of October but did not pass the interview due to a small problem with the Word of Wisdom. He was rather upset and decided that he no longer wanted to see us. This is not the first time it has happened to us. But! He is the first to return. He actually found out where we lived from a member and brought us a little bit of food because he had also heard Elder ------- was sick. (He is fine now) He completely apologized for saying what he did and wanted to come back. So of course we were really happy and we are teaching him again now. Super awesome!

Thursday my companion got better and we went back to work! It is always nice to be outside and working! Firday my companion went down a bit again but it was only a small problem. Then the fun started. The last few days my companion and I have split. Elder ------------ with one member and I with another. I was with two people, Brother Mark, a recent convert to the church, and Brother Jarod, a 14 year old teacher in the Ward. We had a ton of fun! I learned a lot of new words and grammar from them. We taught a less active family named the ---------- family. They used to be very strong members but have recently all together stopped. We taught them about the Temple, (a personal favorite lesson) And the power ofthe sealing power. But we need to be worthy to go to the temple. They have not been sealed together as a family yet. We committed them to go to church on Sunday and they said that they would....they didnt. But I feel like that lesson was a big step toward them coming back. I am very excited to see if we can help them gain back their testimonies. Lastly was kahapon, Sunday. We got up and immediately went to work. We again had splits so we could cover more ground. It was that night we had the biggest spiritual experience. It was at the -------- family. Brother ------------ wife passed away not too long ago. We went to the funeral and all. We went over and visited him for the benifit of his son. His son is a RM (returned missionary) but has gone inactive. His name is -------. We all sat together and started with the basic conversation and I was trying to think what lesson we were going to teach Brother Louie. I had planned to teach the restoration and about the Book of Mormon but it just did not seem right. I then had the impression to teach the Plan of Salvation. I laid out the little pictures to show the what the plan is and then we had a brown out. Basically that means no power for a while. So Brother ----------- got a bunch of candles and in the candle light we discussed the Plan of Salvation. The Spirit was there. I loved it. We talked about where we all came from, what is our purpose here in life, and the best part, where we can go after this life! We shared our testimonies, Brother ------- and I and we were about to leave when Brother ------------- said to wait a minute. He then with tears in his eyes thanked us. Since his wife had passed away has been very lonely and had forgotten exactly where we all go after this life. He then told us that he is now at peace knowing that his wife is no longer in pain and is waiting for him. He then told us that he would like a weekly visit from us and to continue teaching him about Gods Plan.

And how glorious is that plan! It is so perfect. And so full of love. We have no need to fear what happens after this life! As long as we follow the Savior of us all can return to Him and partake of a fullness of joy! I am so thankful for the Saviors atoning sacrifice for all of us. Without it we could not progress. It is what redeems us from the Fall of mankind. I am forever indebted to Him for that.

Well, I just want to thank you for all you have done for me and those around you. We all have a purpose in life. Stand tall, Stay firm. And hold on to that rod of iron. Kabalo ako nga kabuhi si Jesu Kristo, nga polanga ka sang Dios. Kag kun kita magsunod ni Jesu Kristo, magbaton kita walay katapuson.

Elder Rubow

Confession

I had a realization this week.  A dumb one.  A lame one.  Which makes it being a big deal to me just plain stupid.  No, seriously!  It's stupid, only...... I have to convince myself of that.  That I am making a bigger deal than this 'thing' really is.

So, here's the deal Sparky!  It's Zoe.  The service dog.  I'm used to Levi having special needs.  I love him.  Everything about him.  I don't mind that he has a dog.  In fact, I love that it results in people coming up and talking to him because of his dog.  "His" dog....

Only..... Zoe isn't just Levi's dog.  She's mine too.  I hate admitting that.  I feel vulnerable.  When I am out and about by myself with Zoe, people ask me all of the time who I am training her for, what she is being trained for, etc.  And I get all red in the face.  I have no problem saying she is for my son who has autism.  It is way easier to say he has autism than to go into the whole spiel about what he really has and that autism is a side affect.  Autism is something people recognize.  No biggie!

"Oh how sweet"!  Yeah.  Isn't it?!  It's the other part.  Admitting that she is also a service dog for me.  For my seizures.  Why is that so hard to admit to people?  Because they all of a sudden look at me different.  Wow.  That hurts.  It shouldn't.  But it does.  And, it hurts that I even have to go there, ya know?  That I even have seizures now.  I don't want pity.  I don't like standing out and having people approach me all of the time now.  People stare.  I'm no longer just another face in the crowd. Everything takes a lot longer.  Can't just go to the grocery store and run in and out because everyone wants to talk to me about the dog and then, me all red faced saying she's for my son and not wanting to admit she's also for me so I leave that part out...........

I'm an outgoing person.  On my terms.  Having Zoe with me all of the time now, nothing is on my terms anymore.  I'm either stared at, talked about (children mostly squealing and bringing the dog in public to their parents attention-I don't mind them), or approached and asked questions.  My favorite are the people who think because I have a dog, I must be slow and hard of hearing.  Those I get a good chuckle at.

Vulnerable.  That is how this all makes me feel.  I don't like feeling vulnerable.  And yet, the whole purpose of Zoe for Levi is to draw people to him.  Well, one of the purposes.  Like I said, with him, I'm totally cool with it.  It's me that I'm not cool with.  Who knew I was so insecure?!

Which is stupid!!  And there is my confession!