Not a very exciting topic, is it? Depression. Suicide.....
I read a book recently called, "Life, In Spite of Me: Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice" by Kristen Jane Anderson, Tricia Goyer It's a very eye opening read. A book full of hope. There has been one thing that has stuck out to me the most and I can't seem to forget even though I read this book awhile ago, and that is this:
The author is a teenage girl who while struggling with depression, decides to end her life by laying down on the tracks of an oncoming train. She thankfully, isn't successful but does end up losing her legs. As she comes to in the hospital, she is surrounded by family and loved ones. They all tell her how much they love her, how grateful they are that she is still with them, that God loves her........ and she wonders to herself, "Where were you when I needed to hear this before? When I needed to hear these things before, why didn't you tell me these things?"
Where were you?? This has resonated in my mind. Where am I? Where am I when my loved one's and friends need to hear that they are loved and cared about? Do I tell those around me that I love them? That I appreciate them? Do I tell them to their face? Do I reach out my arms and hug enough?
I know that I can do better......
You are a lover and a hugger! This is one of my goals, too. I know we can both do better…even if it is via Friday morning texts! Love you! For always and ever!
ReplyDeleteI love our Friday morning texts! I look forward to them. :D I love you too Donna! Always and forever!!!
DeleteWe can all be more aware, but truth is we are all human and do the best we can. It comes up short sometimes. That is why we and ever other human on earth has (have) a Savior. You are a wonderful person and parent. You love fiercely and with wild abandon. You are my helicopter friend!! Love you.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, you are absolutely correct. We are human and are doing the very best we can. But I can always improve. And where I fall short, the Savior makes up. Love you too Merrie!!!
DeletePeople who are depressed don't always recognize the love the rest of us are offering. Yes, we do need to be sure we're reaching out, but we cannot blame ourselves for another person's depression or suicide attempt. The girl in the book was probably surrounded by people telling her how much they loved her all of the time, and she just couldn't/wouldn't hear it. I see this problem in my own family; I've lived this problem myself (not suicide--depression); I see this problem in people I'm around . . . I still have glimpes of terror about my occasional square dancing partner who took his own life when I was a teenager. Was it my fault? Was I not nice enough? Would one extra act of kindness have prevented his choice? But that's not the case. I was nice. And he still killed himself. The problem is within. Not without.
DeleteCan I just say I really really really dislike depression? I myself have dealt with it and it is almost paralyzing. I knew things theoretically and rationally but emotionally, I couldn't make myself believe. I speak as if I'm talking about the past! I still deal with it! Not to the degree that others deal with it......... but it is there. Maybe everyone does at one time or another.
DeleteI am sorry for your loss Anaise. I too lost a dear friend two years ago and haven't gotten over it. I sit and wonder about a lot of things but know that there wasn't anything else I could have done either. As for my children, I'm doing the very best I can. I know with a big family they are going to feel more loved at times than others............. I am constantly praying that the Lord will make up the difference for me because I know I won't meet all of their needs. Even if I had only one child I still wouldn't be able to meet all of that child's needs.
It's a hard subject.......
*Such* a hard subject. Such a hard reality for so many. Depression is so often unrecognized, unacknowledged, and quagmired in stigma. And mental health supports are minimal (in Canada anyways).
ReplyDeleteOh they are in the US too! It's terrible. And sad........ it is sad to me that mental health isn't considered like something like handicaps and special needs.... It is a hidden special need that doesn't get the recognition and support that is needed.
DeleteI agree. The supports here are abysmal, especially for children and youth, though there does seem to be a growing recognition of the need and announcements of yet-to-be-seen action.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. There is a growing recognition. I just with it were growing faster. :)
DeleteWhen I was facing an uncontrollable amount of regret and sadness after a dear friend's suicide (that you are all too familiar with) I had a close friend from high school send me a message to explain how depression works. She has been clinically depressed her entire life and she told me that no matter what anyone says or does, they can not change the thoughts that are planted in her mind. I'll have to find her message to me and send it to you. I'm not making much sense. But I wholeheartedly agree that we can all be a little more loving and kind toward others. It never hurts to act on every good thought. Love ya Rachel!
ReplyDeleteOn paper, I know that.......... that there is nothing you can say/do but as a parent who is dealing with a child with depression is so hard!! We want to fix things! Logically I know this, but my heart isn't listening.......
DeleteI love you too Gerb!!! Our close friend did many wonderful things, one of which was introducing us!