When I was little, the toilet was the perfect step stool to reach things in the bathroom. I'd stand on it to reach the sink to wash my hands. I'd stand on it to look at myself in the mirror examining my lack of bangs after taking scissors to them. Sorry mom. I get it now. The toilet was also where apparently my brother on his way to bed, would find me fast asleep and carry me back to bed. Often. Why?? I don't know!! Why the fall asleep while using the toilet. Not why my brother carried me back to bed.
As I've watched The Natives grow up and also use the toilet as a stepping stool to reach objects they shouldn't or more appropriately, to wash their hands after using the facilities, it never crossed my mind that someday, I would again, be using the toilet as a stepping stool. What adult does??? Well, unless you are painting your bathroom and refuse to move the ladder all over so you walk from ladder to toilet to bathroom counter and try to perch on anything else you can find only to find that you are still too short so disgruntled you climb down and get the ladder.
Fast forward to the future where Levi is almost as tall as me. Have you ever tried to shower and wash the hair of someone who is taller than you? As I type/write this, the thought does occur to me that I could just have Levi sit down in the shower so I could reach the top of his head but where is the fun in that? Much funner to once again stand next to the shower, nozzle in hand, precariously (I don't have the balance I once did as a kid) standing on the toilet lathering shampoo on Levi's head telling him not to open his eyes or it will sting!!!
This morning I got the giggles, I had this vision of me as an elderly old shrivel standing on the toilet trying to reach up (despite standing on the toilet) to wash Levi's hair juggling both the nozzle and my walker with the tennis balls. I'm going to need to invest in a really really big toilet.............
Yeah - and then there's the day when the seat cover can't take the stress anymore and it breaks a little - enough to shift it sideways and send you nose first into the tub, knocking Levi over - which might possibly save your life, but wouldn't be so great for Levi - and there you will all be, one big lump of disaster in the tub and the water will stop draining, and the tub will fill up and run over and then it will be really cool downstairs when the water comes cascading down like a waterfall, down the stairs, erupting from the walls -
ReplyDeleteYes. I can see it all now -
It's official. We have a Levi, too. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd please don't fall off the toilet!
Just jumped up and screamed!!!! Yayayayayay!!!!!! Congratulations! Very wise choice in a baby name I think. :D
DeleteP.S. May you never have to stand on the toilet to wash your Levi's hair! Hey! We have a pair of Levi's!!!! Hee!
A pair of Levis . . . that's hilarious! I'll remember that one. :)
DeleteA pair of Levis -- you are so much fun! Not all doom and gloom like that K up there. ;-) Though I do like the image of the waterfall cascading down the stairs. Kind of a cool indoor water feature.
ReplyDeleteAn elderly old shrivel, that is just so...vivid. A shrivel. You make me laugh!
A toothless shrivel. :)
Delete