Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Labels and Signs

Once again I will be writing with absolutely no idea of where I am going or headed.  Trying to sort through thoughts and feelings.  I have a confession, or maybe it is a realization about myself.

Because Levi doesn't have a sign hanging around his neck that says, "I'm different.  I have special needs." I feel like I have to pull out a neon sign and wave it around really fast and big in front of him so people don't feel awkward because awkward is just................. awkward.  I can't decide which is worse!  Having the sign or label that looks like a wheel chair or a walking stick or 'that look' that tells people, "Oh my goodness, what do I do!  Awkward moment!  Do I look at the person, do I talk to them, what do I do!!!!!" So usually, people freak and don't make eye contact and scurry along or they want you to know that they are cool with special needs so they make a point of showing you that they're cool and talk real slow and loud and well, duh!  Just because someone is blind doesn't mean they're slow!!!  Or, in Levi's case where he doesn't hold up a sign so people try to talk to him and then when he doesn't look at them or answer there is that lull.......... oh grief!  Not the lull!!!!  The awkward moment.   Here it comes..........  either Levi will eventually mumble something or won't say anything at all and then here comes me!  Go mom!  Let's be the cheerleader and whip out the big neon sign and this is what I do.  I talk to Levi like he's a baby!!!!  It's my way of letting people know that he has special neeeeeeds.  Seeeeee???  Isn't my son cuuuuute?  Tell the nice lady thannnnnk youuuuuuu Levi!  To which Levi mumbles thank you and well wasn't that fantastic of me to help the awkward situation.

There's no manual for parenting and there sure as heck isn't a manual for parenting a kid with special needs!!!  I can't even give you the answer of what to do when you approach someone with special needs because they're all different!  Pass gas or burp.  Yup!  That usually breaks the ice for em all.  It's not like we can all do that though so once again, it is big question mark.  How one approaches Levi would be totally different from how we'd approach someone else!

I think I'll make Levi a big sign to hang around his neck like the pan handlers. "Hi!  My name is Levi.  I have special needs just like you!"  Because aren't we all special?  And different and have needs?

14 comments:

  1. It sounds like September has just been a hard month all the way around for everybody. I'm sending sympathetic vibes your way . . .

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    1. Anaise, Here's to an October that is just full of awesomeness!!! You know, how about October and November and December. Let's just take the rest of the year and go out with a big fantastic bang of pure fabulousness. Sending that wish your way Anaise. :D

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  2. You're going to be sorry you said to pass gas or burp... I'm almost giddy about seeing you guys again now! Seriously though - I often felt the same way and did the same kind of thing with my parents. I could never understand how people suddenly thought my mom and dad were unintelligent when they heard them talk with their deaf voices. I can not count how many times I said, "They're exactly like you and me, they just can't hear!" which really was false if you think about it. Because like you said, we're all unique and special and have different needs. Anyway, hang in there Rachel. You love your boy and want people to just see the awesome Levi that you know and not feel awkward. You're parenting the best you know how and I think most people would agree with me that you're doing a pretty dang awesome job.

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    1. I'm laughing so hard Gerb!!!!! With you, I'll never be sorry!!! Thank you for your kind words. They do mean a lot especially coming from you who is pretty much the mother of the year and I mean that in all sincerity. Thank you!

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  3. Even after teaching special needs kids for years, I still couldn't say how to approach an unknown kid....I usually just smile and say hello...and see where it goes from there.
    As a teacher I always felt like my kids had to behave better than non-handicapped kids just to prove something...not sure what. All I know for sure is that I loved them just like any other kid...because they are just like any other kid in all their own peculiarities....
    It's a fine line...but you are wise beyond your knowing and your love will win...

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    1. Don't you just want to scoop them all up and kiss them all?? When you look into their eyes and spend time with them, you see them for who they are......... special. You can feel it. God loves them so very much................

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  4. Special Olympics was one of the most wonderful things I was ever involved with...so much joy and love and passion and caring....and laughs! Oh, the things they say.

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    1. Oh the things they say is right!! Major belly laughs all over the place!!!

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    2. I hear ya loud and clear on the "special needs" label. And that awkwardness as a parent, especially when the disability is "invisible". Ack, there's so much more I want to say here, but I've run out of time and will soon be sucked into a crazy week...I'll be back.

      Hugs.

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    3. Good luck with your week Wabi!!

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  5. Yes, we are all special and different but it's always hard when people forget that and you end up over-compensating to avoid the awkwardnesses - I know because I've done it many times myself. But yes, you are fantastic to help in the awkward situation because jumping in like that is just evidence of all of your love and protective Mama-ness coming to the fore xxx

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    1. Coming from you Julie this means a lot. Thank you!! xxxxx

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