Miracles

I am writing this as feelings are close and raw since my blog has become somewhat of my journal.
I'm writing because my heart is full of gratitude yet at the same time it is wrenching in pain.  This life is a journey.  We can't take anything but one thing for granted and that is our Father in Heaven and His plan for us, the Gospel, our Savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice which brings peace during times of trial and heartache.  (That was three things :)  I never was good at math...........)


Levi fell last night.  We were swimming.  He got out of the pool we were at and went to get into the hot tub.  He slipped on the wet cement and hit his head.  Knowing what 'could be', we grabbed The Native's and threw everyone in the truck and barreled home.  On the drive home, Levi started to experience dystonia.  Weakness on the right side of his body.  


Levi loves to ride in the car and while others go to sleep, he remains alert and looking around.  Last night, his body slumped against mine and he rested his head against my shoulder no longer able to hold his head up.  When we got home, The SM helped me get Levi into the house as he couldn't walk on his own.  We got him situated onto an air mattress and the usual process began.  The seizures and the throwing up and the agitation.  


After a few hours, about midnight it seemed Levi was through the throwing up stage and was resting.  Next thing we knew, he was agitated but in a different way.  He had a look of terror on his face.  He didn't know where he was or who we were.  He got up and started walking around the Foosball table.   After watching him and trying to console and help him for ten minutes I started to video tape for his neurologist.  


We tried chap stick.  We tried balloons.  Things that would have normally stopped Levi and he would have grabbed onto.  Nothing.  Just a look on his face that tore at my heart.  Tears running down his face and whimpering.  I wanted to scream at The SM!  Not 'at' him.  My insides were screaming.  My child didn't know me and I couldn't console him!  He wouldn't let me hold him.  He just walked around that Foosball table round and round scared!   As a mother, to not be able to console your child!  The look on his face still haunts me........


We were finally able to get Levi to lay down as he became exhausted and sleep over took.  I lay next to him watching and ready for the next round of throw up which lasted until 3:00 this morning.  Also watching as the dystonia (weakness and paralysis) would switch from side to side.

Watching....... wondering....... all night if this was it.  Is this going to be the time he won't come back to us.  I'm sorry to say that I wasn't stoic.  I didn't want to pray to God because I didn't want His will if this was the time for Levi to go.  I felt guilty but my own strength failed me.......    The SM told me that Levi was in God's hands.  I know.  I sort of prayed.  But didn't.........  Until this morning when I thanked our Father for never giving up on all of His children.

Levi is still resting.  He is asleep but, for a moment, he woke up and saw me.  The look of terror is gone.  He sees me.  Kristen stopped by to check on us and I asked him if he knew who Kristen was.  He said, "Randle".  He spoke.  Just that one word.  I asked him if he knew who I was.  He didn't speak anymore but he looked, really looked at me.

I have strong faith.  Sometimes it is less than it should be but I know that even when it is less than it should be, it will carry me through. Or the Lord will carry me through I should say.  He has never let me down in the past nor will He in the future.

"I know not what the future holds....... but I do know who holds the future!"

I believe in miracles.  Every day, week, month, year that Levi is with us is proof that miracles do, indeed, exist!

Thanks for indulging me.  

Cowboy

Levi got into the Halloween costume box!  He found some chaps, a hat, and my witch boots.

Levi:  Now I can ride cows!

Levi is a TEN!

Levi's party.  We took him to "Chuck-E-Cheese".  Land of arcade games and cheap horrible tasting pizza.  (Secret:  I like the pizza.  The SM being from Chicago land of real pizza finds this piece of information disappointing.)

There's entertainment.  A stage is set up with robotic characters that talk and sing.  When we sat down, several of The Native's said they didn't want to sit there because those things were freaky!  I agreed.  But made them sit there anyway.

Arcade games means tickets.  Put in a token, play the game, and out pops tickets.  Tickets are good.  We want lots and lots of tickets for prizes later.

Levi and Mr. J's friend wasn't about to let his tickets out of his sight.

Mr. B is showing all of the tickets he is winning by giving us 'the smolder'...........

Another of Levi's friends.  When we asked Levi who he wanted to come to his party he said, "Mr. B, Mr. D., and Cocoa......... their dog.........  Mr. B and Mr. D came, Cocoa had to stay home.  We told Levi Cocoa's mom wouldn't let her come play.  Way better to put the blame on the neighbor.....

The Native's watching the 'freak show' up on the stage..........

Tokens.  The Native's and Levi's friends each got 40 tokens to go and play on the arcade machines with.  Here's where you all get teary eyed and get out your tissues.  Levi's siblings decided to put all of their tickets together that they'd won and give them all to Levi.

Do you blame them?  How can anyone resist this freckly faced, shirt on backwards, cute little boy?  We can't!  We don't even try.  It's impossible!

Here's "Chuck" himself.  I'm going to call him "Chump".  I got kinda mad at him but thought I'd keep it to myself.  When several of The Native's came up to me and felt the same way.....  I knew I wasn't over reacting because we all know, I don't over react to anything!

Henny Penny...........  still watching 'those freaky things'!

See the freaky things on the stage behind "Chump"?  I know, hard to see them because we are all looking at Levi who is up dancing with "Chump-Cheese".  Everyone is looking except "Chump-Cheese" who didn't acknowledge Levi the entire time we were there...........  Okay, so here's the deal.  "Chump-Cheese" comes out and talks to and sings with and dances with kids who are having birthdays..........  WHO RESERVE A PARTY THERE!  There was a child there who had reserved a party the table next to ours.  "Chump-Cheese" came out and stood in front of the this kids table and does 'his thing'.  Only, it's also Levi's party and considering how much we paid to be there.......... heaven forbid we didn't get 'the party package'........  we had already took out a second mortgage on the house for what we paid for.........  So, "Chump-Cheese" does his thing and as I said, didn't acknowledge Levi for one second.  Levi waved to him, he stood there and smiled at him, he went up and danced next to him............  nothing.  No high five........ nothing.  I WAS SO TICKED!

After "Chump-Cheese" left to mingle with other kids (completely ignoring Levi as he walked past him) to mingle with the kids out in the arcade, Henny Penny and some of the other Native's came up to me and said, "That is so sad....... he ignored Levi"!  Yeah.  We were all a little upset.  All because we didn't have a 'reserved' sticker on our table..........

Whew!  Glad I got THAT out of my system...........  Let's all just take a deep breath and have a drink.

Mr. B followed Levi around the whole time helping Levi play games.

Mr. M winning more tickets for Levi.  It's a tough job winning so many tickets as you can see.

Mr. B, Levi's friend is ready to go and cash in his tickets.  Wait till you see what he got with his......

But first......... check out Mr. J.  He's having a hard time winning tickets too as you can see.

And don't ask me what this is..........

I don't even want to think about the germs that are in that thing with so many kids putting their heads under that!

More ticket winning..............

The SM.............. showing love and affection............

Scarf Kid with the freak show behind him.  "Thanks mom"!  He says to me when I giggle because of the background.

Don't these kids just look miserable winning tickets?

The prize that was chosen.  Mr. B wanted a sucker.  He worked on that thing all night.  I wonder how many days it lasted.....

Mr. D shooting hoops.

Mr. B and Mr. T figured out how to cash in big time getting tickets from this game.

The man of my dreams, the man who rocks my world, the man who fills my dreams, the man who keeps us all afloat, The SM.

Time to cash in the tickets!  All of the siblings come together and Levi starts to feed tickets into the ticket counting machine.

And he keeps feeding..........

And feeding................

Hey!  Did you know if you pull on a stink pot's ear his blue tongue pops out?

And keeps feeding....................

One thousand one hundred and one tickets!  I'm sure some math teacher some where will tell me I just typed that number wrong........

First item chosen..........  any guesses??  A gum ball machine.  Did you really think the gum ninja would pick something else???

So much to choose from.  After the gum ball machine was chosen, who cares about the rest of the tickets!

Back home for cake and ice cream.  Don't be makin' fun of the candles.  The Mum has a habit of forgetting to buy birthday candles.  Birthday candles are highly over rated.........

The first cut!  Birthday child always gets to cut the cake and gets the first piece.

This is for this child's mother.  Notice the frosting up in his hair.

Mr. J is checking out the art work.

Now THAT is a Mr. B smile if ever I saw one.  You have to know the child but this is a signature smile.

Present time!  I promise!  It was wrapped!  Levi unwrapped it before I got a picture taken.....  it has NOTHING to do with the fact that all of his gifts from us were wrapped in left over Christmas wrapping paper........  nothing.......

Oh yeah baby!  Water balloons.  What could be better than balloons?  Water balloons!!

Gifts from Levi's friends.  A rubber alligator.

And gum.  It wouldn't be a Levi party without gum.

Henny Penny made this herself.  It is so cute.  She took an old spice jar and filled it with glitter and water.  A snow globe!

McDonald's money from grandpa and grandma!

Finally!  A new wagon.  Haven't had Levi wagon pulling photos for a long time.  Not since the first wagon got busted and the one after that.  We're hoping this one lasts a bit longer............

And back to the rubber alligator................  for the birthday boy with blue frosting on the front of his backwards shirt.  Happy Birthday Levi!  We all love you so much!!