Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Rotten apples

My older sis and I were talking about some of our memories growing up in rural MT and some of the things we pulled. Looking back, if one of our kids tried pulling the stuff we did we'd wring their scrawny little necks! I'm amazed that my sister's neck and mine aren't five feet long with all of the stuff we tried to get away with.

Do you know the song, "Do your ears hang low?" That was written by our father and all of us punks have a bad case of ears hangin' low from all of the times he had to pull on them to get us to straighten up. I hated that. I'd be walking along trying to look cool and some smart thing would fly out of my mouth and dad would nonchalantly put his arm around my shoulders and start tugging on that ear. That is why one ear hangs lower than the other. Seems he was always on my right when he'd go to yankin'.

Anyway, one day my sister and I were up in one of our apple trees. It happened to be a tree that was next to the dirt road that passed in front of our house when what do you know, an old bitty that we didn't like came a drivin' down the road on her way to our house. Our mother would sell the extra milk that we got from Bonny our milk cow to the neighbors. Actually, in all fairness to this lady we didn't NOT like her exactly. It wasn't her fault that her sons were on our "ewwww we can't stand you list". She hadn't done anything to us but being the mother of these sons who we didn't like, made her a target for our dislike as well.

As she passed the apple tree we started chucking rotten apples at her car and giggled hysterically when they made applesauce along her wood paneled doors.

She drove up our driveway, bought her milk, and then drove away while we continued to hide in the branches of our apple tree thinking we were the funniest and sneakiest girls. We were quite delighted with ourselves until we heard our mom bellerin' for us on the wrap around porch.

We climbed down and with looks of innocence on our faces, went to see what the problem was. Obviously, mom was ticked about something. We had no idea what it could be!

She lit into us and I'm sure her wooden spoon if it even lasted across both of our behinds has left permanent marks. I'd show you but it would be inappropriate. I have a scar that runs vertical on my hiney splitting the thing in two. I can only imagine a scar of such magnitude came from numerous spankings over the years.

Actually, I do not remember what our punishment was. My sister and I were too dumbfounded. We honestly could not figure out how that old biddy with the raunchy sons figured out that it was us up in that apple tree chucking rotten apples at her. We were sure we'd made ourselves invisible and what was even worse....... SHE RATTED ON US. If she hadn't caused us any offense before (other than birthing retched sons) she was really on our "we can't stand you" list!

When you live out in the middle of no where and "are too twisted for color t.v." (what is that line from????) and do not have t.v. you have all sorts of time to come up with ways of getting even............I wonder why our mom couldn't keep customers for very long..........

Sunday, June 29, 2008


Excuse me. The birthday party theme for Kirsten has changed. She would like to have a "Bionicle" birthday party..........for those of you that do not know what Bionicle's them under Lego Bionicles. They are very feminine creatures.........I'm sure all of Kirsten's girly friends are going to be thrilled.........

Saturday, June 28, 2008

She is the princess after all.........

in this household of testosterone. Punk number 5!

Even if she does have John Deere birthday parties instead of princess parties.............

And ya, she'll be 8 this year making this photo a tidge old but if she isn't the dad gum cutest thing ever. This year for her birthday she wants a monster party. What is a monster party? Can't we do something girly like a princess party? Only if their are dragons and monsters...........sigh.......well, I know of a few punks around here that would be more than happy to be dragons and monsters.

ME ME ME! PICK ME! I get to be Godzilla and Brian can be King Kong!!!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Punk numero 4!

I tried to warn him. Many times I told him that if he spent too much times in front of the tv and game cube he'd end up like this.

Disgusting isn't it and yet, this is when my son is most happiest. When he has about fifty of these suckers intertwined and hanging from his fingers. (Well not this brand exactly beings as it is an anaconda and it wouldn't "hang" from my punks fingers but would be squeezing the life blood out of him but the green anaconda is his favorite.)

How can my punk who is soooo loving and has the biggest, warm, brown eyes like something so repulsive? It just aint natural!

Ugh! I just get green looking at them.........

I'm going to end this post NOW because I find it quite revolting. Hurry, click the "x" at the top of the page and make it go away!!! Ohhhh Matthew.........where did I go wroooooong?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Punks 2 and 3!

I would introduce you to them seperatly but as you can see, that is impossible

They are always together. Wrestling non stop from morning till night...

I'm amazed they get any chores done the two of them with all of the playing around they do.

Dinner time is the worst . Do you know how many glasses of milk have been spilt from these two? Look at them!

At church I have to seperate the two of them. One on one end of the bench and the other on the other end with the rest of us in between. I keep thinking they are going to grow out of it but then..........

Why should they? Their dad hasn't.........

Just when you think you've gotten away.......he grabs ya and it is all over from here on out. Don't even try to fight him. You won't win. He plays dirty and starts to tickle. I know just how Trevor feels right about now.

Even with the help of the other punks you're doomed. Oh they try and put up a good fight but....

They're no match when it comes to wrastlin' with their dad. I know........cuz I lose every time.......

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Let's take a break shall we?

Since Saturday, today is the first day I'm up and out of bed and OY! It twernt pretty. I was going to do a post all about punk number two and three but when I walked out of my room and was assaulted by chaos and energies were directed to the much needed clean up effort after hurricane Belinda came tearing through. Not to mention that Kirsten needed major help in a bad way since no one has done her hair since ummmmm....well.......I'm not sure really. I would like to say since Sunday but at one point on Sunday she walked by me and apparently she'd gone to church looking very much the part of a street urchin. I'm still trying to get over that image and scrape my pride from off of the wall where I threw it up.

Long story short. I'm too tired to post about punks number two and three and find the photo's I'd taken of them recently as just folding their Mt. Everest piles of laundry has left me feeling like that sticky slimy green stuff you find in still water with lots of sunlight beating down on it............think I'll lay here and oooze for a bit.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Boy punk number one.....meaning the eldest

I had to clarify because I'm not sure if he is my favorite today. You have to earn the honor and privilege of being my favorite punk around here. He left early this morning for work and I've not seen the whites of his eyes since. Actually, seeing the whites of Brennan's eyes is a rare treat. Maybe these photo's will help explain.

Meet Brennan my 14 year old punk. He is getting so tall isn't he? He is as tall as his dad and kind of resembles him too...........or so people tell me. "Rachel, your boy sure is looking more and more like his daddy!"

You know, until I saw these photo's I didn't see it but if he holds his head at juuuust the right angle......I think I see it too!

I realize this isn't the most flattering picture of Brennan but I have tried to tell him that when he eats like this it is bad manners. How many times does a mother have to tell her son to get his elbows off of the table? Believe me, with all of the eating Brennan does.......I have to say it often. That boy can put more food away than any other!

Being a teenager if Brennan isn't eating then he is sleeping. Isn't he adorable? Don't tell him I called him that because that wouldn't be "cool". Teenagers do NOT like being called adorable. Especially male teenagers. I love photo's of my punks sleeping........

Monday, June 23, 2008

Which punk is my favorite?

Well, it depends on the day really. My punks will argue and say that this punk or that punk is my favorite but what do they know?

Punk number two, (Trevor) asked me why I only have photo's of the two babies on here and not any of the older punks.....well.......cuz they are my favorite obviously. Right?

Actually, it is because I can't take my eyes off of them for two seconds so my camera finds them in its view finder a lot!

Not to say that my camera doesn't find the other punks.....I just didn't realize that they'd want to be embarrassed and mortified because that is what they have basically given me permission to do by asking.

So, now that I have their permission I will be posting photo's and essays on my older punks. This may be the last time they ever wonder who the favorite punk is.........(evil chuckle.....)

What you may expect to see this upcoming older punks on their knees begging me to please go back and focus on the babies again. This is gonna be a good week. I can tell......

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Proof......we do come from Monkeys!

When Brian and Brennan were in Malaysia they went to this refuge for orangutans.

Aren't they adorable? Hey, if I put you in my back pack will you come home with me?

Look! This one said yes! Brian thought he was the cutest out of the bunch so he put him in his back pack and brought him all the way to the US.

Why hello you darling orangutan!

The refuge is looking for you.........

Friday, June 20, 2008

Ummm just a quick question?

I realize that you all think this photo is adorable and believe me....I do too but there is just one problem here. See those glasses my punk is wearing or peeking through I should say? Ya, those expensive glasses that are perfect for biking or riding horses because they fit under a helmet? I just found this photo on Brian's laptop. I was just know.........cuz I'm just a wee bit curious........ummm, where did Levi get those glasses and where are they now because I used to have a pair just like them and they've been missing for a very long time and their owner would like to have them back.

Levi honey, if you ever read this? Could you help me out and tell me where you stashed yet another item of mine? And if it wouldn't be too much could you also tell me where you stashed the car keys, the batteries to the remote, the packages of Top Ramen that dad just bought, and my chapstick?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Matthew........the camo, dirt wearin', punk!

I was digging around some more in Brian's photo's on this laptop and came across this adorable photo of my punk Matthew.........

Notice the dirt all over this punk's face. He is in absolute heaven.

There is a blog that I visit that has a "name this photo" contest. It is fun to see what people come up with so what the heck. This photo needs a name people. On your marks, get set, GO! Can't wait to see what you all come up with and no fair posting to me on my e-mail like a lot of you like to do. You need to post here so that others can enjoy what you've come up with.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Looky what I found.......

on this here laptop thingy that my husband is letting me use while being an invalid. I noticed he had photo's on it so being the nosey curious person that I am......I peeked and no way! Photo's of our Hawaii trip I'd forgotten about.

Here fishy fishy fishy fishy........"I'm eatin' fish tonight"! (If you know what movie that is from I'll give you a prize).

This is what happens when you take NON drowsy don't urp up and get sick medicine and it makes you......duh.........drowsy......and you can't function for a day!

This is what happens when a turtle swims by and whacks you on the head with one of its flippers. It makes you scrunch up your legs like this so that you look like you are taking a dump in the ocean. Promise! True story! It is all on film for a mere $50 bucks if you should so choose to buy it in Kauai, Hawaii at a lovely shop called "Seasport Divers" which we really like and bought several really cool T-shirts from.

Come back here you naughty little turtle. I want to grab your flippers and ride on your back.

This is a grit my teeth and try to smile between the nausea...........

Oh ya baby! Made dad turn on two squealin' wheels when my baby sis and I saw this quilt shop. We were bound for some other location but had to stop and spend some change in this darling shop and take lots of photo's of really awesome quilts!

Care to name this photo? We were pretty razzed with our new board shorts that we got a screamin' deal on in that Seasport Diver's shop that we ransacked. What no one knows is at the time these were only for the Dive Master's who worked at the shop and we sweet talked the owner into selling us some cuz they were awesome!

Do I even need to explain this photo of my baby sis and I? You can't go to Hawaii without your toe nails painted. It just aint fittin' Either that or I have massive white fungus growing in between my toes there that we're trying to wash down the sink.

Ummm, Brian? Didn't you come with to Hawaii? How come all of the photo's are of my baby sis and I?

Oooooh, I see. Cuz all of the photo's of you and I are of us kissing and according to our punks. THAT IS SOOOO GROSE!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I've never been good at tag!

I always start laughing and giggling so hard that I can't run fast and end up weetzing.

Julie Nixon has tagged me. See if I ever read your blog ever again. :o)

So, I've been tagged and I am supposed to answer these I have to answer them honestly? This might be fun!

A) Four places I would visit over and over (does this refer to I "would" or "do" because if it is "do" then my answer would be the hooty for all four answers. When you've had as many kids as I your suspension system just aint what it used to be. Might be why I'm not very good at tag.....

Okay, four places:

1. Bonaire (luved luved luved the diving there)
2. The mountains back home in MT. (they are a part of me)
3. The temple (I love the Manti temple)
4. Anywhere my family is.

B) Four people that e-mail me regularly:

1. My mom (and her blasted forwards :o)
2. My sister Sarah
3. My sister Virginia
4. My good friend Geneva when we want to discuss our latest midnight ride or any great sales on horse equipment.

C) Four places that I like to eat: (oh my goodness. The other night I was craving Panda Express's orange chicken......mmmmm)

1. Definitely the pork salad or any of their salads for that matter at Cafe Rio or that other place by Fat Cat's that is like it. What is the name of that place? Who cares, their salad's are awesome.
2. Rocky Mountain Drive Thru. You wanna a good greasy burger and onion rings? Theirs are the best.
3. Oh crap. What is that Mexican rest. down in Springville? Been there forever. Stink. We love that place. What is the name of it? I can't believe I've forgotten.........anyway........that place. I luv luv luv Mexican food.
4. The Smokehouse. They have good southern barbecue.

D) Four places I'd rather be right now:

1. Out riding. Anywhere, I don't care. Just to be out riding again.
2. I take that back. Out riding in the mountains.
3. Camping. Seriously. I need my mountain fix.
4. I could use a pedicure.......after the camping of course. :o)

E) Four TV shows/movies I'd watch over and over: (Since we don't have TV I'll have to stick to movies and those are things we never get out to see much so this is a harder question to answer.)

1. The BBC Pride and Prej.
2. North and South BBC version (takes place in England--has nothing to do with the Civil War movie that is named the same.)
3. Steel Magn.
4. Ummmm.......I'm sure there are others but can't think of any at the moment.

F) Four people I'm tagging:

1. Elvis
2. Charlie Chaplin
3. Gandhi
4. Rhett Butler

I don't wanna cry........

but if people don't stop being so kind I'll be ending the drought here in UT real quick. I'm at a loss for words actually. Shocking I know.......

I do not know how to put my feelings into words. Might be that I've had two hard days down and can't think but I am going to try.

When I've had my babies I've had people bring in meals for a couple of days which is nice and really appreciated. Not that one should take things for granted but when you live around here it is kind of standard. You know it is going to take place and again, it shouldn't be taken for granted it just somehow happens every time and you never see the behind the scenes to make it so.

When I got West Nile two years ago the same thing happened. We're a tough independent family. Brian is a great cook and we're just a little bit proud I guess. Miraculously the meals started coming in. We told everyone that it wasn't necessary and to knock it off. We were fine. There were plenty of others that needed the meals more than we did.

At the beginning of this year the same thing happened. I got the flu and here come the meals again. This time I was a little less prideful as Brian was out of town. I realize I am stumbling all over myself here not making any sense. I am always grateful for the help and meals. Grief! Get out of cooking? You betcha but it is that pride thing! You see, when I sit in church and the sign up comes around for taking meals to those in need, I am the one who signs up. I take meals to others. I want to be the one who is out helping others. Being on the other side.......I don't do it so well. It all boils down to my pride. I am a prideful person. I am not afraid of hard work. I grew up working. Work brings me satisfaction and pleasure. I take care of my own. Help? That is for giving........not receiving right? I'm a strong independent person. If there is a problem I'll figure it out myself. I'm tough dang it!

Now this........ever since I got West Nile my immune system is shot to heck and I keep getting beat down more and more. Darn good thing I'm a tough old bird. I refuse to let this beat me though. I refuse to sit here in self pity and wallow. If you ask me how I am doing I'll answer you honestly. I am doing great.......because I am. It can always be worse. Except my pride......obviously I need some humbling and maybe this is why I am going through what I am going through.

My doorbell keeps ringing as friends and neighbors keep bringing over food and well wishes to our family. Offering not only food but if they can do anything for our family. Drive anyone anywhere, do we need odd jobs done around the house, is there anything they can get us, do I need my punks taken care of, do we need the horses fed.........

I have sat here knowing that okay, a list probably went around church asking for sign ups for meals even though we've told people they are not needed but I know for a fact that a lot of these folks are coming on their own out of the goodness of their hearts sincerely loving us and wanting to help our family. It is overwhelming. Times are hard. Food is expensive and yet they are so willing to share. Time is expensive!

How does one convey what is in my heart right now? A mixture of humility, my stubbornness and pride trying to shove its way past saying, "No, dang it! I need to get off this couch so I can help others. I'M the one who takes meals to others." Knowing that my summer is shot and that I'll spend it resting is one thing. I can handle that. I'm okay with that. I've accepted that. I don't know how to accept all of the people who are trying so hard to show their love by trying to help take care of us.

I'm overwhelmed by it all. I did not know how many people cared for our family. Me especially! I'm such a spaz! My punks and my man , oh yea! Who could not love them......

I'm confused. I don't like to show emotion so the fight continues inside of me between pride and humility.


Matthew came to me this morning and said, "mom, I've got a funny joke to tell you."

Matthew: Why did the chicken jump on top of a fast moving car?
Mom: Why?
Matthew: Cuz he wanted to catch a cold.........
Mom: Ha ha ha. That was funny Matthew. (Cuz mom's say that when their punks come to them with a joke they've made up and think is brilliant.)

Matthew: (Goes into the kitchen and tells his brother Colin) See? Mom thinks it is funny!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Burn the wigwam!

When I was a little girl learning to play the piano there was a delightful song at the end of the book that I banged away day after day. It was so fun and sounded cool to my young ears. The left hand playing a repetitious beat. Bam bam bam bam bam as the right hand playing a melody with a bam bam bam bam bam beat as well. The idea is to play it as loud as you can and as fast as possible.

I can remember my dad complaining about the song. I was the seventh child to learn the song that he'd had to endure. I didn't understand how he could dislike such a cool song!

Kirsten is child number five who is now learning this song. I can't get away from it. Even if I sit outside the walls and windows vibrate with the dang song! She doesn't understand why I am so sick of it. It has such a delightful beat and she loves playing it as loud as possible and as fast as she did her brothers before her..........

I complained to my dad one day about the song. He said that his mother had endured the same song when he was a boy banging away at the piano and had complained about the dang song as he later did with all eight of us children and I am now with all of mine.

So my question is this. If so many parents have had to endure this song and we all hate it........why hasn't anyone burnt the dang wigwam song by now?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I've always loved a good prank!

When I was a snot nosed punk growing up in Montana we did not have a t.v. I know....shocking isn't it? To think I actually survived but survived we did. We had hours and acres of land to entertain ourselves on.

Our mailbox is very much a part of my growing up memories. It was painted bright red and more was big. Not one of these little silver numbers you'd find at the end of peoples driveways on your way into town. (Town....snort...laugh........cough......was made up of several bars, a post office, a gas station, and a little grocery store).

My younger sister and I would climb up on top of the mailbox and rock it back and forth pretending we were riding a horse. Sometimes we'd drag out the saddle and haul it up onto the mailbox. Most often we'd just ride it bareback.

One day riding the mailbox wasn't good enough and since it was so big we decided to see if my younger sister could fit in it. After trying to shove her into it several times without much luck we decided to get our older sister involved since she was taller and stronger.

Our older sister obliged because she having nothing better to do since she wasn't laying in front of a t.v. engrossed was up for our suggestion of entertainment. (Who taught me how to write this kind of a sentence? Must be from my lack of PBS education growing up.)

We figured out that if we took my little sister and put her in feet first we could cram her into the mail box. We shut the door on her and laughed with delight when she'd push her head against it and "pop out". Both my older sister and I looked at each other.........the demons in us rearing their ugly heads and an idea started to form.

The mean old crotchety mail lady hadn't come by that day yet had she? Hee Hee Hee........chuckles of evil delight!

We had an awesome wrap around porch on our beautiful old farm house with a porch swing on it. My older sister opted to hang out on the porch swing miles away from the action so that if something went know..........guilty by association.........wimp!

I hid behind a big tree which we called the umbrella tree. We would spend hours climbing and hanging out in it's branches imagining all sorts of things but that is another story for another day. The tree was not close enough for the mean old mail lady to see me but close enough that when I yelled out "now", my little sister could execute her part in the prank.

Imagine two little children shivering with delight waiting for the exact moment. Me dancing in place not being able to stand the suspense and who knows what my little sister was doing crammed up in that mailbox but she was a good sport and waited.

We didn't have to wait long. Down the dirt road came the mail lady. She was driving her brand new car. Where we grew up they didn't have mail trucks. The mail men/women drove their own cars leaning across the passenger seat to drop the mail in our boxes because the steering wheel wasn't on the right side of the vehicle.

Giggling I crouched behind the tree watching for the precise moment. The mean old crotchety mail lady pulled up to our mail box........leaned across the passenger seat.......raised her hand to open the mailbox and I yelled "NOW". My little sister popped out of that mail box and yelled, "BOO"!

That mean old crotchety mail lady jumped back across her car banging herself against her door with a shriek that you could have heard the next county over. I fell in a heap of laughter and giggles on the ground as my little sister still stuck in the mail box and blocked by the mean old crotchety mail ladies car dissolved in a fit of laughter. Oh it was delightful until that venomous old creature got a hold of herself and gave my little sister a tongue lashing.

I told you she was mean and old and crotchety. She lectured my sister and told her that she could have scratched her new car when the mailbox door banged open against her car.

I can't say we cared. Tears were running down our faces and my poor sister was making the mailbox rattle and convulse with her shrieks of laughter and hiccups.

The mail lady drove off in a huff and I went and rescued my little sister so that we could both again dissolve in peals of laughter on the ground.

Later after reflecting on the event and filling our parents in on it during dinner that night and mom making us shove my sister back in the mail box again so she could get pictures, my little sister and I decided that we didn't like the way our mean old crotchety mail lady had reacted.

It was a harmless fun good prank and being the older sister who would defend her little sister with my little fists if need be to the death decided that this mean old crotchety mail lady needed to be taught a lesson for yelling at my little sister over something so harmless.

I had been out walking down the dirt road that went in front of our house and had found a dead shmooshed snake. With a stick I picked it up and planted it in our big old red mailbox and put up the yellow flag. Special delivery for the mean old crotchety mail lady.........the snake........

Friday, June 13, 2008

Why is it.........

that on the days you stay in your pajama's, have rank breath, and are peeling the wallpaper off of the walls from not showering are the very days that someone drops in?

I can be sitting here all primped and shellacked and no one will feel the need to stop by but guaranteed if I don't get up, shower, and cover my face in spackle.......that is when the door bell rings. Same with a messy house. Clean one sees.........messy house.........everyone feels the need to drop in.

This morning I wasn't feeling too hot so I was lazing on the couch in my p.j.'s that I absolutely love. They are over sized, look like men's pajama's and are downright comfy. (Well, other than the fact that they are lime green and have hot pink flowers on them but you never know.....there may be some men out there that like that sort of thing.) Maybe not the most flattering pair of jammies that I have but they are comfy none the less and I chose to spend the morning in them.

I was in the process of typing up a reply on the e-mail when my door bell rang. Of course!

Colin answered the door and I hear a deep voice ask if his mother was there. Colin shrugged his shoulder's and told the gentleman yes and then looked over his shoulder at me with a "now what?" look on his face. I asked him who it was. Colin again shrugged his shoulders and gave me the, "I dunno" look.

I sat up on the couch and looked towards the door and told Colin to tell who ever it was to come in with the intention of telling who ever it was that their solicitations weren't wanted and to well......shove off frankly. Not very nice is it but when you are not feeling good and your door bell rings non stop all summer with people selling this that and the other I get a bit cranky after a bit.

A gentleman stood in my doorway with sunglasses on and a baseball cap and said, "hi" with a grin on his face. I stared at him looking at his hat to see if I could get an idea of what it was that he was selling and waited for him to start his speech so I could politely cut him off and send him on his way.

The gentleman continued to stand there saying nothing with a smile on his face. It was obvious that he knew me but well........I didn't have the foggiest idea who he was and blurted out, "I don't know you. Who the heck are you?"

He still smiling answered, "I'm the barefoot guy"!

Oh heck I thought. Well, that would be the PG version of what I thought when truthfully it was more of the PG-13 version.

My thoughts ran wild. I realize that I've been a bit loopy lately and others have teased me that I've been in a drunken state not being able to put two thoughts together but please oh please oh please don't tell me I've gone off and done something stupid again. Think think think Rachel. The barefoot guy. What in the crap have ya gone and done now?

The gentleman continued to grin at me obviously enjoying my lack of being able to put a memory to his face and said, "Shane Phelps. The horse trimmer. Your farrier."

OOOOOHHHH, laughing (me sitting up straighter) and pretending I knew all along who he was and what the heck he was doing on my doorstep. "Did I miss an appointment?" (Vaguely I am remembering that I do have an appointment with him later today but it was later wasn't it? Please? I'm not losing my mind. It was later wasn't it? We hadn't made any changes had we?)

He explained to me that yes, it was later that day but he'd had a cancellation and was in the area and wondered if we could do my horses now.

Me still laughing like an idiot pretending I know what in the world is going on assures him that yes, of course........give me five minutes so I can go upstairs and get dressed.........

He went back outside to his truck and I ran upstairs to scrape the fungus off my teeth, throw my hair back in a pony tail, threw on a baseball cap and some clothes meanwhile giggling to myself. I have such a way with people and making great first impressions. Duh, "Who the heck are you?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

What a girl really wants!

Romance. I have the most romantic husband and every word I speak of him is true. There are very few men out there like him I think. I'm one of the lucky ones and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for my man. I didn't do anything to deserve him other than fall madly in love with him.

If you look at the covers of trendy magazines they have titles that suggest they know what a girl or man wants but I would wager that considering all of the unhappy marriages in the world today they really do not have a clue so I'll tell least from my point of view........what a girl really wants.

Being sick has added more responsibility and stress on my husbands very strong broad shoulders which are very sexy might I add. :o) We have seven children ages 14 on down. Add having a child with disabilities who refuses to give up the terrible twos and we have 18 children........or so it seems some days.........

My eternal sweetheart gets up every morning and goes to work. He works all day and then starts the long drive home. Upon coming home instead of demanding what is for dinner and plopping down in front of the t.v. he immediately goes to work by my side helping me with dinner, feeding the punks, putting them to bed, and what ever other household projects need done. He never has gone to bed before me always offering to help me with what ever it is that I am doing that is keeping me from being able to sink into bed at a decent hour.

Once a week or more if need be he has always encouraged me to get out of the house and go and have some fun. Some down time. He never asks this of himself. Always giving making sure the punks and I are taken care of.

With my being sick he has not only continued in this fashion but has taken on my tasks and has doubled his. This past weekend the house was really feeling the effects of my being down and he spent the entire weekend cleaning, scrubbing, and organizing the house. He later told me that he couldn't cure me physically but he knew that if things were cleaned I'd feel better emotionally.

That, is romance........that, is what a girl really wants. A husband who is true and faithful. Who loves her with all of his heart and not only tells her this but shows it in the every day things that he does for her. Never saying a negative thing about her to anyone and standing up for her. Loving her...honoring her. Flowers, gifts, chocolates........sure.....they're nice and heaven knows he showers me with plenty of those things too is by my man's daily actions of love and sacrifice for me and the punks that I find incredibly romantic. And that....... is what this girl really wants........and gets.........and I pray I never take him for granted.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I've a story to tell..........

and it's a good one!

Several years ago I came across an invention that made my world rock. I was SO excited and felt that all of my problems would be solved as long as no one found out the secret of this invention. I was in the mall one day and came across these silicone thingys that you shove in your bra and voila! One who is less endowed can now wear clothes with darts in them where something should be but in my case wasn't so it was just loose bunchy fabric.

I bought a pair of those suckers and I doubt I even brought the packaging home. I'm sure I ripped em right out of the box, shoved them in my bra, and went trouncing around the mall with a smug look on my face.

The problem with wearing these things is that you start to get paranoid and feel like you can't just run out to the mail box and mail your mail without a bra and those suckers in now because "oh no, people will realize I'm actually flat"! As if people are walking around sizing each other up everyday.... "hey, did you notice that yesterday Rachel was a bit more voluptuous than today? I wonder what happened"?

I think it stemmed back from when I was in 7th grade and all of the girls were starting to develop and apparently my switch malfunctioned and the developing crew went on strike and development never happened. I didn't want to be left out though so I wore a training bra which puzzles me to this day. Why is it called that? What exactly is being trained?

Anyway, we were in P.E. and earlier that morning I had stuffed cotton balls in my training something bra. A girl who's crew had been hard at work for quite some time so did not appreciate the plight I was in made the comment in passing, "a little bigger today Rachel?" I of course was mortified, ran into the locker room, yanked out the cotton balls, and threw them in the trash.

I've matured over the years. I went from cotton balls to silicone faky thingys.

Bathing suit season came around and horrors of horrors I couldn't exactly wear my bra under my suit and it didn't have one built in so if I wore my suit like usual then the entire world would know I was flat! Smugly I figured I had this one under wraps! I'd just put those suckers in my suit and no one would know.

I was out gardening one day and decided to wear my suit with shorts over the top so I could get some sun while I worked. I was working madly away bent over pulling weeds when plop! Out dropped one of my fakeys onto the ground at my feet. I quickly snatched it up and stood up to see if anyone had noticed clutching the thing with both hands to my belly. It was then that I realized that I could feel something squishy under my suit on my belly that wasn't normally there. I pulled my hands away only to hurry and put them back again running hunched over into my house giggling my head off.

When I got inside I yanked out the other fakey that had slipped down to my belly button and threw the fakey's where I'd thrown the cotton balls years the trash.

I of course am even more mature now and am accepting of my lack of voluptuousness because I realize I have something that big bazoombaed women don't have. I can sleep on my belly quite comfortably which encourages wet slobbery drool on my pillow.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Movie Plug.....

cuz I wanna.........and I can.........cuz this here thingy is my bloggy thing a ma jigger.

Last night I stayed up until 2:00 in the morning. Yes, you read correct folks. I was wise and mature and heeded my doctor's orders of lots of rest so I rested on the couch where I've been for the last UMPTEEN WAY TOO LONG TIME couch potato hours......days........weeks........because I am trying to uphold my presidency of turn my hiney into a couch wedge society and I'm gettin' reeeeeeal good at it. And run on sentences apparently too.........

So, I was up late because I came across this really cool thing that I realize everyone else knows about but I just found out! Cuz I've nothing better to do apparently.............

I found netflix! Not only do they deliver movies right to your little door BUT you can watch movies immediately right on your computer! How cool is that? Oh I lead a really sad life.......

Anyway, I saw this movie I've never heard looked I hit the "Play now" button cuz I want it NOW cuz I grew up in the "must have it now" generation of which I am also president of.

I don't know how I do it all really......sigh.........I am SO needed by so many societies, groups, forums, etc. etc. etc. Being president is quite tough. I had a talk with Hillary recently about just this very thing and thankfully she took my advice. But that's another story.

The movie that I watched last night is a 4 part movie and you know if I had time to sit every night and drag the episode out I would but I don't and time is precious to me so I had to sit and hurry and watch the entire thing real fast and then it was over so quickly. I wanted to watch it again just to make sure I didn't miss anything important.........but when you are president one has to make sacrifices.

The movie I am recommending is called North and South. You can buy it on Amazon and I'm sure other places of which I've no idea cuz I'm too busy to look but here is the link for Amazon and it is REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD and now I need to go and find a therapist who can help me understand why I am so obsessed with this movie today.........

And that is another thing. Why do they call therapists shrinks? What exactly is it that they are supposed to be shrinking? In my day growing up we used to wear Levi's called, "shrink to fit".

"Hello, excuse me.....I'd like to find a "shrink to fit"!

"Wouldn't we all lady........take a number............."

Monday, June 9, 2008


GAS! Yes folks you read correct. The title of this blog is gas. I want to talk about gas today. Why you ask?

It is simple really........this morning whilst lying here dejected on the couch, my stomach rumbling because it is STARVING, and my punks are still in bed so I can't pick on them to go and get me something to eat I've been reading the local news. The headlines being of course the rise in gas prices and what they are projecting by the end of the summer. Meanwhile, Levi's dog Julie is lying next to me passing horrendous gas. She has this amazed look on her face when ever she does so. What? You didn't feel that one coming either? My punks try using that excuse too when we're at the dinner table. "But mom, I didn't feel that one just slipped out!" Sitting around a table with six boys that excuse gets a little old and like Julie, they feign this surprised look before all dissolving on the floor in a fit of giggles. Julie at least can keep a poker face and gives me a look that says, "WHAT? sniff" She's not foolin' me though.......I can see right through her. I know a windbag when I see one.

If I make more than the usual spelling typo's it is because my eyes are watering and in between gasps of air after holding my breath, my laptop is bouncing all over my cellulite belly which used to be rippin' (hee, excuse the pun) before I had kids. I had the danged cutest belly button. We'll save that story for another day..........maybe. Coughing........gasping for air.............

Anyway, back to the gas situation at present. Our summer plans like everyone elses are of course affected by this lovely hike in gas. Gulp.......gasp........choke.......cough..........can't see........tears running down my face..........I stopped driving our truck long ago unless absolutely necessary and have walked or biked which looking at the baggage I have packed on my belly, thighs, and hiney this isn't all together a bad thing and since this mono garbage I've been too dizzy and weak at times to drive anyway! GASP! Someone open the windows pleeeeaaaazzzze.

Do you catch my drift here? (Sorry.....really bad pun's today.........) I know of some gas that is quite readily available.....choking.........getting blue in the face and green around the gills.........GASP...........need oxygen.............but can't afford the gas to get to the hospital.............passing out now..................

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Levi and his dog-gone business

I think for all that Julie puts up with she will be getting bigger mansions in Heaven than I.

Levi loves to pull things behind his bike and his latest is my bike cart. Before, it was the wagon which he would load up with all sorts of goodies. Julie is Levi's latest victim for hauling around and she has been a great sport.

At least Levi doesn't dress her up in clothes before taking her out for a jaunt. It could be worse.......that's what I've been trying to explain to Julie.

Levi: Hold on Julie, buckle yurself up, it's gonna be a wild ride!

Now come on.....really.........doesn't this look fun?

Julie the ever faithful is watching for traffic. She's good that way ya know. She's a great back seat driver.

What more could a dog want in life? Wind blowing in her face........ears flapping in the breeze........

Hold on........wait a second.................

Am I missing something here?

Is it just me or am I seeing things? Where did this punk come from? Weren't we just looking at Julie the dog?

I think I better go back in and lie down.........this mono is affecting me in more ways than one.....

Friday, June 6, 2008

Sigh of relief

This was certainly not how I had planned to spend my summer this year but today has come with a sigh of relief. I had joked before we knew what was going on that at least if I were pregnant I'd know that in twenty years I'd start to feel better!

Before we knew I didn't know how long this was going to last and I tried to put on a brave face and make the best of it and be positive. It sure makes it easier when you know that this isn't something that I'd have to deal with for the rest of my life. How droll for my kids to have a mother who lives on the couch day after day.....month after month........year after year.......and yet there are mother's out there who not by their own choice are in that position. My heart goes out to them.

We are handed and given things in life that we may or may not choose. How we deal with and react is in our power to choose though. In my reading in Mosiah I have appreciated Alma and the people who followed him. As they were captured and taken into bondage they had task masters put over them and burdens put upon their backs. They cried out to Heavenly Father and were commanded by their captors not to pray. Alma and his people prayed silently in their hearts. The Lord heard them and answered their prayers. He didn't help them escape from bondage immediately. He made it so that the people did not feel the burdens on their backs and their tasks made lighter. The people had faith. They did not murmur and complain. They gave thanks and rejoiced in Heavenly Father. They were cheerful and patient. Heavenly Father THEN helped them escape.

I've thought a lot about this experience and how it relates to me. I have been given a burden so to speak on my back. It isn't going to go away anytime soon but I know that my prayers are being answered and the burden is being made light. I hope that I can continue like Alma and his people giving thanks, having faith, being cheerful, and patient.

I've been given an opportunity to learn and to grow. I just hope that when people come to visit they can look the other way as the piles in the house also grow. OY!

On the other hand.........Levi and Jadon are loving the idea of living on cold cereal for the next several months. See? There is good in all things. :o)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Test Results

The results are back and they are about as confusing as when we started. At least things showed up which makes me feel better. SEE? I'm not making this all up. I feel crappy okay? For a reason!

Here's the weird one. According to my tests I have a raging bladder infection that has been going on for sometime that my body is fighting. Weird cuz I do not have any symptoms. I've had a bladder infection before and believe me, it isn't something you ignore. So, my body thinks it has this battle going on that it is fighting and it is beating the tar out of me.

Secondly, here at some point and who knows when I got mono! I am so excited. Now I can tell people that Brian doesn't get all of the fun when he travels. :o) hee hee

Thirdly, and finally I am still dealing with West Nile residual stuffs.

The end result is after several months of recuperating from all of this my butt is going to resemble the couch cushions it has/will have been smashed upon and I will have several cracks to show from it!

My only request is that when all is said and done that no one mistaken me for a horrid beat up old couch and throw me in the trash.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


All of my punks Kirsten on up play the piano. They each practice everyday and when they aren't practicing it isn't unusual for all of them at some point in the day to sit down at the piano and just play. I love it. I love hearing them play. They have a fantastic teacher and they each play very well.

I've been asked if all of the piano practicing drives me nuts. Not at all! I seriously love hearing them play. That is why it is so hard for me when I am down. The playing is difficult for me. I don't know why. It is too loud and the tone is too harsh. Why is that? I have to keep reminding myself that when I feel better I love hearing them play and I NEVER want to discourage them so I "suffer" in silence.

I say suffer. It is hard to suffer through something and grit your teeth when normally you love it. Kind of like chocolate. On normal days I can't get enough but if I had the stomach flu and was urping up all over the place eating chocolate would be hard to swallow.......

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Bread mishaps

One should not make bread when one is tired and not feeling well or this happens:

I couldn't resist peeking in the bread machine to see what was happening and if the dough was tending to its business. When I opened the lid I noticed a piece of metal under my rising dough and thought, "oh no, I've gone and busted the dang thing already"!

I pulled it out and remembered a little too late that I'd left a measuring spoon dripping with honey in that thar bread machine bowl thingy. Oops.......the spoon is a little bent up but everything else seems to be okay.

Well........until you pull your bread out after it has cooked and it looks like this.........I wonder if my forgetting the salt is the culprit...........


Monday, June 2, 2008

Better is good

I'm not sure what to Title my post today. It has been a good day. I was able to get up at 6:00 this morning with Brennan and make him lunch before he headed off for work. I then needed to rest and sleep for several hours after that and thought if that was the only thing I accomplished today then that would have been worth it and good enough. It is important to me to be up with Brennan and see him off to work just as it is important to me to see my kids when they come home.

After resting and sleeping I attempted to make bread in my new bread machine. It took me several tries as I was too weak to go through the process as simple as it is. I walked into the kitchen only to turn around and hit the couch again several times. I was finally able to get up and was able to not only get the bread made but Levi and Jadon's diapers changed and the two of them dressed and myself showered as well.

As the day has progressed I have felt better and was able to go outside and watch the kids while they played which freed up all of the other kids to go and play with friends. They had done their fair share of babysitting all morning.

This evening after more resting I had Brian help me exercise. We went for a walk around the neighborhood. Towards the end I think it was more of a shuffle but I made it.

Not a bad day I'd say considering how it started out eh?

Angels on my doorstep

Yesterday I had angels appear on my doorstep. They brought a brand new bread machine with the makings of a loaf of bread already put together inside. All we needed to do was hit the start button and we'd have bread!

All day Saturday I knew I needed to make more bread. We were running low. I was too tired and not able to. Brian told me not to worry, we'd make bread the next day. The next day (yesterday) came and I was still too tired and weak and then these angels appeared!

What a happy thought to carry me through the rest of the day. Thank you Guy and Kristen for my happy thought.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Happy Thoughts.

As I mentioned in my last post I have been sick for quite some time. Not urpy throw up sick. Something else. We don't know what........we keep calling it a West Nile relapse because that is what it feels like but as the spring has progressed I have been getting worse. On Friday I went to the doctor's. They took blood and are doing several tests. We are waiting for the results.

It has been a hard week. I feel like I am a shell of who I used to be. Yesterday I sobbed in the shower because spring is my favorite time of year. I love to garden. I love to plant flowers. I should be outside doing these things. But.......I'm not.

Yesterday Brian helped me plant two hanging baskets. I love flowers. They make me happy. When I am at Cost-Co I like to get myself some because I feel like life is too short not to enjoy and get fresh cut flowers. I'm nuts about flowers.

I am learning to take each day as it comes and enjoy what I can out of each day. Yesterday my happy thought was the flowers. They made me happy. Levi helped me water them. He enjoyed "helping" me. It wasn't the normal hanging baskets that I do. They aren't fancy and Levi may have washed away more dirt out of the baskets but it doesn't matter. He was happy and thought he was helping.

When I have good days we'll just have to be more spur of the moment and take the opportunities when we can. It is all about family. It has always been about family but this whatever it is that I have has made it even more so for me. I have very little energy. I can't be letting outside things take what little energy I have away from my family. It is about the little things now. Taking life easier and slower. This isn't a bad thing. So there is my happy thought for today.