I am going to write a post all about how to survive your summer with the chitlins home. Assuming you are all like me and love having your kids at home 24/7 and listening to the, "I"m bored" speech and the, "There's nothing to dooooo". For the rest of you, this post is for you.
Make sure all natives are indoors. Lock all doors and tell natives if they answer the phone or open the door they will be scalped within an inch of their lives. When you tell them this, make sure you have your hands on your hips, are bending over staring in their upturned faces, and your eyes are bulging and bloodshot. Takes some practice but by the end of the summer you'll have it down pat. Especially the bulgy bloodshot eyes part.
Next, plant all of your natives in front of some sort of media. Don't listen to what you've heard Dr. Phill and Opra and all of those other have nannies to take care of their natives crap shoot advice. They don't have experience. Go with experience. You'll thank me later.........
Media brothers and sisters is your friend. It's like the snake on, 'Tarzan'. Look into my eyesssssss, you are getting verrrrrrry sleeeeeeeeepyyyyyyy. Don't think of it as tranquilizing your children. Think of it as keeping them safe! This is all about the kids!! Keep telling yourself this. You are being a good parent!!
After the kids are staring and drool is wetting the fronts of their shirts, grab the stash of chocolate you've been hiding behind the cleaning supplies (best hiding place EVER) and run to your bedroom, lock the door, open your closet door, say a naughty word when you step on the pile of shoes dumped in a heap on the floor as you try to squish into the closet, wish you had
Side note: If you hear fire trucks, just stay where you are and play dead. When asked later, tell the firemen the truth. The natives turned on you, tied and locked you up in your closet, and you are so grateful they came and resuscitated you.
Repeat this once a week/day as needed.