The school year has started. Most of The Natives have started school. With the start of new things the use of band-aids goes way up. Levi has a new teacher, new classroom, new classmates and the destruction to his arms and legs begins all over again.
Do you know what it is like to be a parent, a mommy who knows that the outer destruction, the digging and making oneself bleed is because inside the little one is upset?
First day of school. Levi gets off the bus and is out of sorts. Very belligerent. Upset. There's no reasoning with him when he gets like this. All systems are shut off and it takes time to help him get things sorted and right again. He's sitting downstairs in the hall hunched over rocking back and forth crying. I kneel down next to him and try to talk to him noticing that I need to get enzyme cleaner to clean the carpets as he is wiping blood on them as he digs at his legs and arms.
I can put band-aids all over the sores on my sons legs and arms and I do but man it kills me! It kills me that I can't take away and heal that which makes Levi get this way in the first place!
I don't really know what the purpose of this blog post is or what I hope to accomplish...... I sent Levi off to school this morning with a prayer in my heart and hope that he'll settle in. He went to school with a headache and a bit out of sorts. I gave him medicine to help his head and have kept my phone next to me looking at it often making sure I've not missed a phone call from the school. Off he went, teeth not brushed and hair not done. Today's battle was trying to get him to eat his breakfast.
Normally I try to pull up my boot straps and end with some positive insight but today, it is raining outside. It mirrors what is happening inside. My heart and eyes are raining for my baby. My baby that hurts and no band-aid can make it better in this life time. Thank heavens for our Savior Jesus Christ and that Levi will have the best band-aid for eternity making it all better. I hold onto this....... but sometimes...... I'd like a quick fix.............