Why my child wears what he wears, looks like does, hair looks a mess, teeth aren't brushed, and other things that make me look like a bad parent.
I can remember years ago, before Levi, I would look at kids with special needs who looked like they weren't being taken care of very well and oh would I judge the parents! What! You can't take the time to brush their hair, or dress them in cute clothes or....... insert any number of judgmental things I would think. Laws! I look back and think, Rachel, you were a snot! Who did you think you were?!
Giving myself and those who still think like I did a little credit. I wasn't trying to be mean. I just didn't know.
I didn't know about the battles. All of the battles fought in one morning that most parents wouldn't have with their kids in an entire month! I didn't know that mornings were spent picking and choosing which battles will be fought. I didn't know that sometimes, brushing teeth is a battle not worth fighting. Or maybe it is hair. I didn't know that after fighting the teeth battle by the time we get to hair, it just isn't worth it! I didn't know that brushing teeth and doing hair for these kids is painful.
I always thought I would be the parent who would dress my kid in super cute clothes because people stare as it is, no need staring at how he's dressed as well! Then the realization. It's not about me! Gasp! What?! Shocking, I know. It's about what is comfortable. Levi is uncomfortable enough as it is. "Cute" clothes can be uncomfortable. Tags have to be ripped off. Clothing that isn't soft is painful. It's also about ease. Having the self satisfaction of, "Look mommy! I got myself dressed!" Elastic waist pants so said child can dress himself. No buttons. Etc. I didn't know about these things.
I didn't know that it would mean when Levi goes to church he would wear suspenders on his pants because he likes them! Yes, he looks goofy and it makes his pants go clear up to his arm pits but Levi likes the suspenders! He doesn't care what other people think of his 'style' of dress! So I stopped caring. Caring what other's think and started caring about how much joy it brings me and tickles me to death to see Levi happy and comfortable.
Battles. We all have them. Which do we choose to fight, and which do we choose to let go........