Ahem.......sick.........I promise......cough......cough

I have come across something that I need to file away and use from time to time. I use to use it when I was younger in high school. It is called playing sick! You can get away with the most amazing things when you play sick. I have been able to get away with it for six weeks now! YES, six weeks.

When I started out I wasn't very convincing. It was because I didn't act it up quite enough. After laying on the couch for two weeks I decided nothing was working to my favor so I upped it up several notches and you would not believe the things I got out of it. My freezer was FULL of ice and berries we'd picked from our yard last fall that needed to be canned. I didn't feel like doing it. Defrosting handicapped freezers is not something I enjoy and since my freezer is really handicapped and is constantly filling itself with ice it only ticks me off so I open it as little as possible.

My mom heard I was sick......cough cough.........so she came to take care of me. I moaned and lamented that I needed to get my freezer cleaned out but was too sick........cough cough.......to do it and I'd ordered a 1/2 beef that needed to go into the freezer RIGHT AWAY..........what was I to do? My mother being the angel that she is set to work defrosting my freezer and canning all 63 + jars of berries for me. I thought I should start to perk up about then but then I figured if I stayed in bed I could get even more out of her and would you believe? It worked! She did laundry.........she scrubbed bathrooms.........dusted my house..............scrubbed blinds..........scrubbed my bathroom floor which was full of fungus............cleaned my laundry room...............did endless dishes by hand since my dishwasher is broken.............tended the kids.........which means changing tonage of diapers.............fabulous!!!

Before my mother came I tried another tactic that works well. I put my kids on the street corner with cardboard hanging from their necks which read: Homeless, need food. The neighbors took pity on my kids and the meals started pouring in. Dang good meals too!

I should have probably stopped there but frankly I have always loved the dramatics so I started to act dizzy and have fainting spells which would mean I couldn't drive and all responsibility would be taken from me.

I have enjoyed this pampering for six weeks now and feel so refreshed! I got up yesterday and did my usual daily routine. People started to forget about me so I did have to throw in some dizzy spells just to keep people on their toes..........you know..........just in case I get sick some more and need more meals........cleaning.........child care.........chocolate........etc...................

I tell ya, this playing sick stuff works fabulously! Just don't go tryin' to fool me cuz I can see right through a faker in a heartbeat cuz I have a black belt in faking it and I won't take pity on you for one second. Nope! I won't even bring you a meal...............cuz I'll be on the couch......"sick".