The Good and the Bad

One of the things that I have enjoyed doing while being queen, pres., her majesty, etc. of the couch is reading other people's blogs. They are fun, inspiring, and a good way to pass the time.

There are two in particular that I have followed and although they have been uplifting and amazing as many readers comment and say, the authors are so incredible as they are so positive, they never seem to get down etc. but........

After awhile at least for me I started to wonder what was wrong with me that through my trials I couldn't be so perfect and positive all of the time. That is why after much deliberation I wrote what I did yesterday. I've had others make the same comment about me and I thought, "hold on.....if only you knew!!"

I believe it would and can be said of these other authors....if only we all knew. Everyone has their moments and so I chose to share mine. No secrets here. Just keeping it real. :D

Most days I can say, "I can" and "it could always be worse". There are those days how ever when you let hormones or what ever get to you.

So, no worries my friends. The comments and e-mails I have received because of my post yesterday have been so wonderful and I am grateful. Everyone needs to be reminded every once in awhile that they are needed. That they count and are loved.

We're all human after all.........

The Rubow team!

For some reason in my mind I had it figured that when spring and summer came, with the warm weather I'd get better. That was how it was going to be so when I had this last bit of a set back in February it really hit me hard (hence the feeling so down last week) because I realized that I will be spending yet another summer on the couch watching my yard, flower beds, and gardens sink further into the garden of weedin's. The long horse back rides I used to take, the miles I'd run, the camping......

Through all of this I've said that I've known that I may be like this for the rest of my life and, "Come What May, and Love It", but under it all I was sure I was going to get better. This past set back made me realize that no, I just may very well be like this for the rest of my life here on earth and as I was boxing up my sewing machine and the sewing project I had been trying so hard to finish but wasn't able to......it was just more of my life being boxed up and put away. I told my SM that I felt like all I was was a cheap babysitter until he could get home from work and take over.

A few days ago my SM called me from work and asked me if I was free this weekend, could he take me out on a date. I told him I'd have to look at my calendar because being president of the couch potato society is really quite time consuming. Amazingly I had an open slot. Last night he took me out to dinner and then to the play, "Polly". Absolutely wonderful and amazing.

In one part Polly talks about the things that she's made with her hands, how they do not last and are moth eaten and turn to dust over time but that the one thing she gives which is lasting, is love. During the intermission I turned to my SM and asked him perhaps maybe is it better that I am here with he and the kids than not? I can give love if nothing else.

He was shocked that I would even think such a thing ,the family being better off without me (I wasn't being suicidal or thinking of leaving, just feeling like dead weight and a burden) and told me that we were a team and he and the kids would be devastated if I weren't with them. I told him we were NOT a team anymore. I wasn't doing anything. He had to take care not only me, now but the kids and everything I used to do.

Intermission ended and so did the conversation until later. My SM explained to me that every day I do the best I can. I do everything I can possibly do for our family right? Even if all it is is smile and greet them cheerfully at the door when they get home that was the best I could do for that day. I told him that yes, I did try to do everything that I could. He said that so did he. Every day he did the best he could. We both did the best that we could for our family and that made us a team.

So, with God as our coach, the gospel as our game plan, the scriptures as our strategy, eternal marriage as the winning trophy........go Rubow Team!

I've been playing "borred" games and losing miserably.

I've been dealing with the West Nile Virus now for 2 1/2 years. I was watching my baby play this game the other day and thought that who ever came up with this game years and years ago must have been recovering from some serious illness or how else would he know?





How else would someone know that the road to recovery looks like this? The road to any recovery for that matter.





So, I started here on square number one. I'm the red piece. Red is my favorite color although I really like the colors of this game. Yellow. So bright and happy.





I've certainly had my ups and downs along the way but have felt that I've been steadily climbing with little "chutes" along the way. At the end of January I thought I was at about number 79 ready to turn a corner in fact, I thought I had turned that corner and was going to climb that little ladder and





end up here! Finale. The GRAND Finale! The winner! The problem is......I've no control over where the arrow points when I spin the spinner and so instead of landing on number 80 I ended up on number 87.





The dreaded big chute that takes you all the way down.





And for the entire month of February I've been sliding down that chute and what a mess when I kerplunked onto number 24. It was a hard fall and I cried and threw a temper tantrum this past week which is why I had to go on a blogcation. It's pathetic enough watching a two year old throw a temper tantrum.......someone who is my age..... pathetic doesn't even describe.





So, I'm back to climbing again and who knows? Maybe I'll land on 28 and just keep on climbing back up to 84 and




end up here after all!

Blogcation

Gonna take a blogcation. You all mind your "p's and q's" until I get back. Have a great week!

Confession about Valentine's Day.

I've another confession to make and I'm sorry to have to dump it on you today of all days but here it is: I hate Valentine's Day. There. I said it.

I used to like it when I was in grade school and I'd go through my little Valentine's from all of my classmates reading more into each little card from all of the boys I liked. As a parent of little boys I realize now that there was nothing to "read into". With little boys....if they didn't have their mother over their shoulder helping them sign the little cards, they'd give Incredible Hulk to the girls and Disney Princess to the boys. They don't care! They just want to fill the dumb things out, sign their names to them, and be done with them. Who cares about gender and the message on the front.......there's a message?

Junior High hit and high school and that is when you could buy balloons or flowers for friends (those would be white or yellow) or boyfriend/girlfriends (those would be red). Of course.....the more red you had well GOSH, you were soooo popular! Year after year I'd come home empty handed as it seemed like everyone else including the "ugly kids" or "nerds" had fists full of flowers and balloons. Every year as class would be interrupted all day long with the delivering of flowers and balloons and hope oh I'd hope.......but no....and I felt like everyone was smugly looking at me and my blatantly empty hands.

Now that I am married you'd think I'd get over the whole Valentine's thing and love it because no longer am I without flowers, balloons, chocolate, sticky kisses....but....I still hate it. I hate taking my kids to the store to buy stupid cards that little girls are going to read and wonder what my sons meant by the message on the front......these same little girls have no idea that when my boys get home, they take one look at their cards and if there isn't any candy they throw it in the trash without looking at who it is from or the message printed on the front. If it does have candy, they still do not read or care about the message or who it is from. They rip the candy off the card and toss the card. They're guys........it's all about food.

I don't know.......maybe I'm missing the point but when my TEN YEAR OLD son comes home from school feeling bad because he was told by, "lots of people in his class" that when he threw away a certain little girls Valentine he'd "broken her heart".........I'm reminded as to why I hate Valentine's Day.

On the other hand......as I was spouting off to my SM yesterday about my grudge against the day and "Oh by the way, your Valentine's is going to be lousy this year because I've not felt well enough to do anything great" my SM pulled me into his lap and with arms around me said, "I don't need anything for Valentine's. Every day with you is Valentine's Day".

Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all.......

Waiting for the final bomb......

Two days ago war was declared. That was it! I was done changing my babies diapers.

My opponent carried on such a war cry as never I've heard or seen. For several hours the war cry sounded, sometimes reaching such decibels that I was afraid "neighboring" countries might come and after witnessing my opponent join his party!

As the day continued I tried all strategy but.......I'd underestimated enemy number 1. My opponent would fake me out making me think that a rain of fire was coming. I'd prepare and when I'd think it was over......that's when the floods came down all around me.

This went on all day until we declared a cease fire until the next day. We both needed our rest.

Yesterday went well. I could tell the opponent was getting tired. Enemy number 1 was being captured and flushed out every time except once. My opponent did get the better of me once.

Today, the battle has taken a new turn but I'm ready. I've done my ground work, I know there is more yet to come. I've seen evidence. Enemy number 2. My opponent has yet, to drop the bomb......butt I know it's coming......

If I'd only had this product I might have won the war!

This native and I have been in a fierce battle since yesterday. So far, it would appear that neither side is winning BUTT.........





If I'd had this product I am SURE I'd have won the war long ago because according to this video review (watch em, they're funny) having mommy standing next to you when you wee in the potty, jumping up and down, clapping her hands, and shoving candy down your throat when you make it isn't good enough!

How in the world did mother's ever potty train before products like these.......