Yoga

I'm training for a marathon.  My first marathon ever.  Last year I did my first 1/2.  This year I'm going for the full and will run the 2nd weekend in June.  On my 'rest' days where I don't run I'm supposed to be doing cross fit training.  CROSS fit training.  It makes me cross.  I get bored with the same thing so today I thought I'd try something new!  Yoga!  I figure it is just stretching with heavy breathing.  How hard can that be?  I do that every morning.  I streeeeeeeetch and the effort it takes just to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom has me breathing heavy.

I plunk down my laptop and google some yoga videos on youtube.  I find one that looks promising.  It's only a 1/2 hour long and it is level 1.  We begin............

Question?  Who the heck came up with yoga pose names??  I'm supposed to be holding these poses whilst thinking about the sun, moon, the stars, the man in the moon, and oh look!  I have lint between my toes as I am doing a pose called an, "down dog"!  Down dog?  Really?  My hands and feet are on the floor, my bum is up in the air, and you are telling me I look like a dog?  I thought yoga was all about mother earth and getting in touch with your ying or yang or something.  I already feel like a beached whale!  I don't need someone telling me that I look like a dog!  Couldn't you call it the, "sleek lanky cheetah rises out of the grass to attack it's prey pose"?

Fine, moving on.  I'm told we always come back to the, "strong mountain" pose.  We reach back and salute the sun and come back to strong mountain.  Again.  I'm already feeling largish and you compare me to a mountain.  Who comes up with these things?  I know!  Let's come up with an exercise program where we shoot insults at the people doing different poses and while they're being insulted we'll convince them this is fun and good for them!

"Happy baby pose".  Let me explain something.  When a baby lies on their back and plays with their feet, it's cute.  When an adult is told to lay on their back and play with their feet.  Aint no one happy and don't call me a baby!

I'd love to tell you more about my yoga workout but by the time I got to the pose where they called it, "the half moon pose" I told my computer, "Absolutely not!  I will NOT look like a teenager with my undies hanging out of the top of my pants with my pants hanging down to my knees"!

I marched right over and tried to turn off my computer excepting I couldn't seem to lift my arms that now felt like jello or see where the 'off' switch was with all of the sweat dripping down my face.  How can this be?  All I did was act like a big mountainous happy baby dog doing half moons while lifting one leg!

Oh!  And P.S.  The camel pose?  Apparently that's not the part where you walk out of the room and get a huge drink of water.........  I'm still trying to figure out how I wasn't carried out of my living room on a stretcher after that one!