It is time for me to take my own advice. Last night I threw a fit. A massive screaming my head off, punching the door, kinda fit. The kind that is pointless because the door doesn't care how much I scream at it or hit it. In the end, I'm the one with the hurt fist.
This morning with a little rest and a big deep breath I am ready to put my big girl undies on and try something different for a change. Shocking! I know......Just don't ask me to order different food at a restaurant. I have my favorites and I'm sticking with them.
I keep trying to do what I used to and then get all ticked when I'm thrown back down. For example, running. I love to run. Used to run all of the time and kick box. Looooved it! Now, when I start to have a few good days I get my running shoes out and hit the pavement and then scream in frustration when the next day or two I'm back on the couch.
So, today......I walked. Baby steps right? And while I walked I thought and pondered and I realized something. I realized that because I was walking my head was up and I was taking notice of my surroundings. I noticed some tiny little purple flowers, I noticed a house that had the front redone on it, I noticed tiny little leaves coming out on tree branches. When I am running, my head is usually down and I am watching the road or trail in front of me.
As I walked today it rained, snowed, and hailed on me and then.....for a brief moment, the sun came out.
Every year for the past several years I have watched my family prepare and train for a triathlon. This year is no different and as usual, I want to join them in the worst way. It's an even bigger deal because my family is having a family reunion and as part of that reunion those who can are doing the triathlon. Last year, my dad and sisters ran the triathlon for me. This year, I want to run it myself. I'm going to! Baby Steps! With help I'm going to.
My dad is going to do the swim for me, The SM is going to do the bike for me, and I...am going to do the run. Even if I have to walk the entire way, I'm going to do it with the help of my family! Baby Steps!
You are awesome and I am proud of you! Good luck with it all. I'm always amazed at the people who even desire such a thing. Very impressive.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!! I like running for fun too, when you have to do it in school it just hurts. But when you run to your friends house- it's super duper fun!!! LOL.
ReplyDeleterachel. you had me crying. and then laughing.
ReplyDeleteinspiring.
and love. your life is full of love. i love your family. i love your gifts. i love your heart.
love love love.
Lyndee, Whacked out aren't we? Marathons, triathlons...what could possibly entice a person to even want to participate? I don't know...it feels good. Even the pain feels good....in a painfully weird way. :)
ReplyDeleteHanna, Kinda like raking leaves. I hated raking leaves when my parents asked me to but if I did it because I wanted to jump into a pile of leaves.....then it was fun!
Misty, When do I NOT make you cry? LOL. I love that you are a part of my life! And I love that though you are miles away we can Skype and it feels like you are back in my living room.
Rachel -- you keep up with the baby steps and we'll be there to celbrate your victory across the finish line -- in more ways than one. Love you.
ReplyDeleteVirginia, I can't wait to celebrate all of us crossing the finish line. I love you tons.
ReplyDeleteYOU GO GIRL!!! ;D
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeleteI have tantrums too.
And I have a few baby steps of my own to take.
I'm going to read this post again tomorrow and soak up some of your determination and humility.
Please post about your progress.
Let's hear it for baby steppage! I'm proud of you for being willing to do this.
ReplyDeleteRockin.
Emma, I'm a gittin', I'm a gittin'!
ReplyDeleteAnaise, Glad I am not alone. Not that I would want anyone to be upset and throw a temper tantrum but there is comfort in not being alone. :) I will most certainly post about my progress as I plan on progressing....somehow! Good luck with your baby steps. We'll baby step together.
Jody, You my dear know exactly what I am talking about and dealing with. My crossing the finish line will be for the both of us.
Uncle Rush, It's not an easy thing to accept. I don't swallow humble pie too easily. Here goes to chewing and swallowing a big bite!
Hmmm. You didn't seem fittish when you left last night. I would have bet there wasn't enough starch left in you then, you could even make a fist. But maybe it's just Mr. C I'm remembering. About running, I'm pretty much Sophie on that - it's like doing the arena. If you ain't headed somewhere, really, and need to get there fast, it's not my MO. Strolling, talking - oh, yeah. Or on the back of a horse, maybe. But doing the running thing? You and G; I just scratch my head. Ah well. The mysteries of life.
ReplyDeleteChocolate anyone?
Good job. Keep it up. Go for the race and All the best to you.
ReplyDeleteHave an awesome day...:)
I've always enjoyed walking, especially when you're able to enjoy the scenery! Way to go with baby steps!
ReplyDeleteKristen, I bet if I held out a chunck of chocoate mint in front of you, you'd run for it. :D
ReplyDeleteMr. Stupid, (eek, can't I call you something else? Mr. S? :), Than you so much and you, have a totally rockin awesome day yourself!! And try not to hit anyone with a baseball bat in the process........ ;)
Chastina, The running for me has always been a way of pounding out pent up energy, frustration, etc. To not be able to pound the concrete anymore....I am now reduced to pounding doors.
Good for you! It's so hard to take babysteps sometimes, but we just have to.
ReplyDeleteI love that part of What About Bob. Such an awful/hilarious movie, isn't it?
Ginna, I'm for eating the whole cow/elephant. :) None of this babystep stuff. What About Bob is a classic...!
ReplyDeleteHere's to your baby steps.
ReplyDeleteJust getting there (mindset)is 1/2 the battle.
Your determination will take you further than you can imagine yourself being.
Keep going!
Empress, It's snowing again....baby steps today is more like baby sloshing in the slush..... :) Thank you for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteaww, Rach. You can do it, girl. I feel your frustration so clearly in this post--just breathe through it and keep on trucking. You'll get there--how could you not? You're amazing.
ReplyDelete:)
Lori, Awww, thank you!!!! I'm working on it and with so many of you cheering me on I know I can do it!
ReplyDelete