The cold hard facts about snakes

Yesterday I was out planting tomatoes and peppers when I heard Levi yelling at Jadon to, "get the snake". I looked up and there were the two of them moving one of my planter boxes around trying to corner the unlucky victim of boyhood delight.

I was clear across the yard so didn't worry too much. I'm getting so mature! When Brennan was little I was gardening in about the same spot as I was yesterday and this horrid slithering tongue flicking demon dared make itself known to me. I jumped up and ran across the yard screaming leaving my very young (like two or three years of age) punk to fend off the dragon while I hid behind my skirts as a warm trail of something ran down my legs. True story! Well, most of it. I didn't really wet my pants but I felt like it and I didn't really have on a skirt but I'm sure I felt like it!

ANYWAY, I've matured is what I'm trying to say. I actually stayed in the yard knowing there was a snake fifty yards away. Be proud of me dang it!

Eventually the snake was caught and the boys ran off in delight to torture it I'm sure and I didn't stop them because I was busy planting tomatoes and I've got my families welfare and food to worry about and if any reptile creepy crawly lovin' person is reading this I'm sorry but my punks come first. I was planning on rescuing that snake just as soon as I got my garden planted......and the laundry done.......and dinner fixed..........and the horses fed........and their poop scooped (manure--there Geneva are you happy? I said MANURE and not poop--she's trying to make me more genteeeel) and the kids bathed.......and put to bed..........and well frankly you know how it is! I was VERY busy!

The kids came in for dinner and I made all of them wash their hands because I didn't want us all to wake up in the morning with our tongues flicking out of our mouths and no appendages. We sat down to dinner and Levi announced that he'd put the snake in the mail box.

Later that evening I very nicely asked my husband to go and remove the snake from the mailbox since he is a manly man and can handle ferocious tongue flickin' slimy creepy slithery demons and take it far far far away!

When we went to bed and I was snuggled up next to my strapping manly man I asked him if he'd taken care of the snake and he said it wasn't in the mailbox. He'd looked and there wasn't a snake in it.

This morning after the kids woke up Levi had snakes on the brain and wouldn't quit talking about his snake. He asked me where it was and I confidently told him, "lost". Tee hee hee! He then confidently told me, "NO, it's in mailbox". I confidently told him, "NO, tee hee hee IT'S NOT! It went bye bye"! This conversation went on for quite some time and I won't tell you how long because I'm trying to be mature and anyways it doesn't matter because I'm the mom and I'm always RIGHT.

I got Levi's coat and backpack on and then proceeded to get my own coat on and shoes. When I was finished I walked out the door and was met with Levi with a huge grin on his face holding...........THE SNAKE! "Where did you get that"? I asked in a high I'm freaked out voice as warm liquid is trickling down my legs. He confidently told me, "In the mailbox".

If I didn't love Levi's dadgum father so much and think he is so manly and handsome and makes me swoon whenever I see him.........I'd make him sleep on the couch..........good thing I'm so mature!