Why is this punk crying?

And why is this man who makes my heart go pitter patter laughing?



What sick and twisted joke is being played? I'll tell you what. Remember the whole snake episode and how I am so mature?

Yesterday was Colin's 11th birthday. He wanted to spend the day at the zoo so we gathered up the punks and made preparations to leave. As we were heading to the car one of my punks let it slip that there was a lizard loose in our truck! WHAT?

A week ago Brian took the scouts on a campout and apparently two stowaway lizards were brought aboard. I of course was not informed of this until the next day. Walking home from church a lizard scurried across our path finding refuge in the neighbors yard. That's funny........we do not have lizards here...........uh huh. Brian fesses up. We have TWO. Looks like they escaped.........

So where is the second one? I find out yesterday.......

I told Brian I was NOT going to get in that vehicle until they got the thing out. No way was I going to be trapped in a vehicle going 75 miles an hour down the interstate with a lizard running loose. He and the boys assured me that they couldn't reach it, it wouldn't bother me, and "we're late, we need to get going". I kept telling them I didn't care how late we were. I was NOT going to get in that vehicle with a lizard. They could go to the zoo without me for all I cared.

My sweetie hit way below the belt.....he said, "I thought you were mature now".......with a smirk on his face.............

This went on for quite some time. Me refusing to get into the truck, the kids and Brian trying to chase the lizard out from underneath the front seat. Brian gave up and started to get in the truck and told every one to load up. I told Trevor to "get it". He told me he was trying but couldn't reach it. I went to the front and was going to grab the ice scraper with a big long handle and start whacking the floor in the hopes of scaring the thing towards Trevor when the thing came scurrying out right where my feet WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I'D GOTTEN IN THE TRUCK!

I jumped back about a mile as warm liquid oozed down my legs and started blowing into a paper bag hyperventilating. My sweetie, my hero, my manly man caught the wretched thing and then said, "now what do you want me to do with it?"

I told him I didn't care. Give it away. We called over a neighbor boy and gave it to him. He was so delighted with is reptilian stowaway and we proceeded to load up in the truck. I looked back and Kirsten was sobbing her eyes out. I thought, "you poor sweet little thing. You are trapped in your car seat and that must have been really really scary. It was for mommy!"

Do you know what her answer was? NO, she was upset because I'D GIVEN THE LIZARD AWAY AND SHE WANTED IT!

I looked at my sweetie and he sat there chuckling at me. I was surrounded by lunatics! All of them. I can't believe how immature they all were! They thought it was hysterical that I was petrified and Kirsten's heart was broken because I'd given away her new "pet".

I tried leaving them at the zoo............I would have too...........if I weren't so mature..............