Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Gonna be a sobby feel sorry for myself post today

Most of my posts are nonsense. I've said it before, I try to go through life finding the humor in all things. All things that aren't evil anyway.

Today humor is harder to find but given time I'll find it. I promise.

The day started out normal enough. Got up early before the kids for personal quiet time, read my scriptures, meditated on some thoughts. I had this thought which actually ties a little into my thoughts now. We read in the scriptures, Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days on the land may be long. What does this mean? Many people are taken from this earth "early"
and they honored their father's and mother's.

Anyway, back to my morning. I got kids up, made them breakfast, took Brennan to work (he can actually take himself on his bike as it isn't far but I like the alone time with him for a few minutes so I can tell him that I love him and to have a good day), ran and fed the horses and scooped their poop which was monumental since it rained buckets yesterday and last night and the pasture is all under water and mud, came home and got the other kids off to school, cleaned up the kitchen, and then sat down to my e-mail.

I have a dear friend who has two children with LCA. They are both blind. I do not know all of the details of their disability but I do know that these two beautiful children are blind and have been from birth. I can't even comprehend what my friend goes through and has gone through in raising these beautiful children. She e-mailed me this morning with some incredible news. There is a gene therapy being done that is in its initial trial stages and the results are wonderful. The child/children who are doing this therapy are able to see a little bit. Can you imagine what this opens up for these children and adults with this disability?

My emotions hit a whirlwind. One second I am ecstatic with the news and then the next I am hurled into sorrow for Levi and then excitement again for my friend with these feelings of sorrow pushing harder and harder against my feelings of excitement for my friend. I am sitting here wanting to sob as the pain in my throat just hurts.

A cure! Yes, a cure! I want a cure! I want my Levi to go through life without pain. I want him to live a long healthy life. I buy him clothes that are soft to try to help him feel better. I buy him bedding that is soft and the softest mattress to try and help him feel better. I buy him expensive boots with cushy soles to help his feet feel better and the punk throws them in the ditch....... :o) What I am trying to say is THERE IS SO LITTLE I CAN DO FOR HIM!

Honor thy father and thy mother.........that thy days may be long upon the land.........what does that mean? Children who are not accountable are taken from this earth all of the time. I realize it has nothing to do with this but that is how I started my day....with that question on my mind..........

Okay, I've found my humor. I know the answer......duh..........it is simple. I have two two year old twins and why I should have even needed time to ponder this shows the lack of sleep I've had lately. Kids, ya better do what I say or I'm gonna take you out faster than you came here and that was fast. Just ask your father.........

3 comments:

  1. Time is relevant to each individual's situation. Follow my train of thought here. Is it possible that a child that is honoring their father and mother and is taken early has proven themselves and their days upon the land are complete? Take another child that doesn't honor their father and mother but are left on the land to see if this person will make the right choices. Will their days have been longer if they had made the right choices? I think the "that their days may be long upon the land" is one of those things we may not be able to grasp because we don't understand the complete time frame of the Lord. Kind of windy, but there you have it.

    On the Levi situation -- I once talked to someone that was dealing with making life as comfortable as possible for her child. Isn't that what your task is? Aren't you fulfilling that task to the fullest? Is Levi the one that is "missing" out on life or is it that your life is fuller because of what Levi is giving you?

    I better quit before I get really preachy!!! Love you dearly.

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  2. I think that this is probably advice, not a statement of reward for good behavior. I think what's being said is, "If you listen to what your parents have learned through their lives, you have a better chance of not killing yourself, doing something stupid."

    If that's true, then it has little to do with guaranteeing that your body will be perfect and you won't get diseases or conditions. I think most things we're told are process things, not capsulized blessing guarantees.

    And anyway - Levi has lasted an awful long time for a kid who dives out of second story windows onto his head -

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