Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bow-log-na

Bologna. Does NOT look like it sounds.

Yesterday I wandered into the kitchen. My stomach was doing that thing. You know, where it has waited long enough and if you don't hurry and feed it NOW it will throw itself out of your throat onto the nearest edible calorie ridden forbidden item it can find.

I opened the fridge and saw a package of bologna in the crisper. I was delighted! I snatched it up and was instantly back to when I was a kid and peanut butter and jelly on homemade wheat bread was pretty much the daily special for lunch. Reeeeal special. I got tired of special.

Every once in a blue moon, mom would splurge and buy bologna. I loved bologna. One day, I decided to use my super sneaky wonder kid skills. I kyped the bologna and hid it! I hid it under the foot stool in the family room. No one would find it there. The stool had a skirt around the base, I was small enough to fit under the stool and so that is where I hid with my bologna.

I took out a slice and slowly pulled off the red plastic from around the sides. This was my favorite part! Some of the bologna always stayed stuck to the plastic and if it didn't, well, I made sure it did! I would then put the plastic in my mouth and slide it through my teeth pulling off the stuck bologna.

Heaven! Until mum came looking for me. I left my hiding place and found my mom sporting a look of innocence on my face. I was sent off to do who knows what. All I know, is the bologna that was secretly hidden under the footstool......was forgotten....

Until, one fine morning, one of my sisters moved the footstool....

Fuzzy green stuff covered the precious buried treasure! How could I have forgotten? And who knew that stuff was supposed to be refrigerated??? I was devastated. No thanks to my sisters who howled with laughter at me either.

I remembered this yesterday, as I took out a slice, pulled off the red plastic, making sure some of the bologna stuck to it, and held between two fingers, I tilted back my head and pulled the plastic through my teeth pulling off the bologna.

Heaven!

9 comments:

  1. My idea of heaven and yours...completely different! Bologna....ugh!

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  2. I'm with Korrie. EWWWW! But I'm glad it works for you.

    I have 4 words for you- turkey, avacado, swiss cheese (that's supposed to be one word) and the crowning glory- BACON!!! Now that's heaven... On sourdough of course.

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  3. Every darn time I look at your header, I'm a gonner.
    Me too. Me too bologna. Nat can be as patronizing as she likes (shame shame, Nat. Even though your sandwich sounds pretty dang good, too, unfortunately for me, who cannot eat anything ever again, having graduated from an 8 to a 10 when I should be a six. Bacon being your point, it's hard to argue), but I loved it fried with cheese melted all over it. Or with mayo and mustard and really crisp lettuce - with cheese.

    The thing that I hid - that also turned into a farm under one of the front room chairs - was two fist fulls of cookie dough. I don't even remember taking it. I do figure that I hid behind the chair to eat the stuff, heard mom coming and quickly wiped both hands on the carpet. I don't even remember getting to enjoy the dang stuff.

    But it's moments like these that draw us so closely together, don't you think?

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  4. How can you enjoy that stuff?! It tastes disgusting!

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  5. I like peeling the plastic more than eating the bologna. My favorite childhood food was cookie dough. The problem was getting the cookie dough before my mom cooked it all or my siblings ate it all.

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  6. ooohhhhh yucky! It's even yuckier when you throw it in a skillet on med-high heat and toast both sides to perfection, not forgetting to cut slits into the sides so it does not curl up on you, then throwing it between 2 slices of white full of gluten bread with mustard. Yucky. Or is it sick? Don't try it, you just may become addicted. It's kinda like bacon. Bacon is yucky too, right?

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  7. Natalie seems to have a better idea of what Heaven truly is in my opinion. When I was a kid it was peanut butter and jelly rice cakes. If that isn't a trip to purgatory, I don't know what is.

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  8. Eeeewwww!

    But to each her own! :)

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  9. Korrie, It is really odd actually because I can't stand hot dogs and well, bologna and hot dogs, pretty close to each other.... But yeah. Bologna. Never grew out of it.

    Natalie, Put avacado, swiss cheese, and bacon on anything and that is a given winner. I'm with you. Given the choice between the two I'd take yours but...... I still have a thing for bologna. I think it is the red plastic. :D

    Kristen, It's a pretty good header isn't it? Kinda pulls at my heart too. A lot!

    Yes, I do believe we were kindred spirits long ago. Not to be able to enjoy the stolen cookie dough and the stolen bologna.....such a shame. I have to laugh at the image of you wiping your hands on the carpet. I probably did much the same.

    Hanna, I don't know! It should be on the disgusting list but it isn't.... guess my taste buds haven't matured.

    Chastina, I got to lick the beaters and that was about as close to eating the cookie dough as I was allowed. BUT, when I got older and mom would be away..... I'd make cookies... and eat half the dough!

    Jody, Absolutely disgusting isn't it? Yeah. Fried makes it almost to the point where the gag reflex kicks in and don't even get me started on bacon..... vile. Repulsive.

    Okay, I'm salivating now. I want bacon..... There should be an addiction group for bacon and chocolate lovers....

    Anon, PBJ rice cakes? Seriously?? I am truly sorry. If I had to choose between Nat's sandwich and mine, I'd take hers BUT I still love bologna....

    Anaise, LOL! I'm owning this one!!

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