The sheep killin' blood fang drippin' dog

It was one of those perfect home school moments. A warm fire was going, the kids and I were tucked all nestled snug under homemade quilts reading whilst a storm was brewing outside. Snow was falling on an already snow laden earth. (Were those run on sentences? Did that even make sense? No wonder my kids are turning out the way they are. Can't teach em' diddly squat.)

Anyway, you get the idea. The world was covered in about a foot of snow, we had a fire going, and the kids and I were facing a lovely bay window watching the storm unleash itself.

I was miserably fat and pregnant bulging with who knows what ever child. Doesn't really matter. I was fat and pregnant okay? I couldn't fit into anything so that is why in the middle of winter I was wearing The SM's basketball shorts and his big t-shirts because nothing I owned fit anymore.

We were all sitting reading together when I noticed out our lovely picture window a stirring going on. Behind our house is a fabulous field which if it weren't there I'd go insane. I pretend I own that field. Makes living IN THE CITY bearable. Anyway, there are sheep in that field during the winter and the sheep were in a tizzy. Something had them all riled up and they were running. It was then that I noticed a big wolf dog out with the sheep and to my horror I watched him go after the soft throat of one of those sheepy's. I couldn't stand it so I did what any red blooded American would do! I threw all caution, reason, brains, etc. aside and ran to the back door. I grabbed the most sensible shoes I could find (the only pair of shoes I could find) which happened to be a pair of high heeled toe less sandal shoes no less and don't ask me why they were there and not put away......I have too many youngins running around and I'll slap you if you ask such stupid questions. I shoved my feet into the high heels and grabbed the most reasonable weapon I could find which just happened to be my kids' toy snow shovel which is a brave intimidating color red and ran out the door. I ran into the field adrenaline pumping waving that toy shovel stumbling around in my high heels and fat bellied husband's gym shorts state yelling at that wolf dog to "git". By now I was out of breath so I think it was more like a "giii.........." gasp gasp gasp. I for some reason beyond me had my phone with me (not a cell phone......didn't have one then......my regular home phone) and was frantically trying to get a hold of animal control to come and help me with the beast because I was a poor fat pregnant woman out chasing a mad sheep killing dog! They hung up on me! Actually, they said they'd call me back so I continued to run around the field (mind you a snow storm is brewing at the same time) waving my red shovel when the phone rings. I immediately think it is animal control and start to pant into the phone my predicament. Finally a ladies voice breaks in and asks if I am okay......I tell her yes, I'm just pregnant and out of breath..........after conversing a bit with this lady it slowly starts to dawn on me that I recognize this voice. It isn't animal control. It is my wonderful sister and she is wondering what the heck I am doing running around in a snow storm panting to death! Dag blam animal control. Don't know what ever happened to em............

Finally, the owner of the sheep killing blood fang dripping dog came and got his dog and I trudged back to my house with my shovel dragging behind me. Made it to my yard where I gracefully tripped over who knows what only to look up and see my neighbor standing there with a puzzled look on his face. Shouldn't he have been at work or something? He was wondering what in tarnation I was doing. He said he'd looked out his window and because of his fence couldn't see the sheep. All he could see was me running around in shorts, t-shirt, high heels, waving my kids' toy shovel in the middle of a snow storm!