Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I thought this only happened in the spring.......

Once upon a time there was a beautiful queen who loved her children dearly. Every afternoon she would take them in her chariot along the banks of the river where they would spend hours exploring, laughing, and eating bon bons. One day as they were coasting along a zap of poison came shooting out of the sky and hit this beautiful queen right between the eyes. From outward appearances all seemed normal but the poison had spread to her eyes and a hungry vengeance on hopping armor plated creatures coursed through her veins. Never before had she noticed so many of these hoppers all over the trail. They disgusted her. Revolted she purposefully aimed her chariot wheels delighting in the crunch that followed under her wheels. Her poor children suffered dearly. They did not know what had become of their beautiful mother. "Stop momma, you are killing the grasshoppers", they cried.

An evil cackle escaped her lips as she chose her next victim...or victims......if smashing one could be so delightful how about two? She had noticed that there appeared to be alot of these creatures lounging around on top of each other oblivious to anything going on around them. An easy target! A high pitched cackle escaped her lips as the beautiful queen got her tire in line with the next victims! "No, no, no, mommy. Don't kill the grasshoppers", her children continued to cry. "YES, YES, YES", the beautiful queen shrieked as her tire so perfectly aligned hit her target. SPLAT! A hideous crunch and mustard flying in several directions snapped the beautiful queen out of her poisoned state of mind.

"Oh that was GROSS" the queen shuddered. "Mommy, you killed them", the children wailed. The beautiful queen now back to her senses replied, "well, they shouldn't have been playing in the street!"


  1. Oh Rachel, you make me laugh! I never would have guessed that dying grasshoppers could be so funny!

  2. That is HILARIOUS! I have never been a fan of grasshoppers, well not since the Morrise boys would chase me around trying to make me touch one.

  3. You tell this story so well! How funny. Thank you for helping me burn calories through laughter.


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