Once upon a time there was a mother who had so many children she didn't know what to do. One day, she decided her answer was fried pickles. So she called for her fairy godmother and asked her to whisk her away to fried pickle land. The mother was taken away for a few hours where she filled herself to gluttonous contentment ready to come back home and face the come what may and love it.
As she was being driven home, her house came into view and along with it a site to behold in the back yard. The mother told her fairy godmother to STOP! And to back up so they could get a better view. The fairy godmother slowly backed up and as the full moon arose before them they howled with laughter.
There standing on the top of the swing set tower, the very one that Mr. J had fallen off of and had broken his foot, stood Mr. J with his back side to the world in full view. Pants down around his ankles Mr. J stood and watered the grass from above. Oblivious to the car and the passengers there in watching him with tears running down their faces. Said child finished watering the down belows which must have been quite fascinating to him to see what a distance he could shoot.....pulled up his britches, turned, and with cast grabbed onto the fire mans pole and slid to the ground. Still oblivious to being observed he crawled and hopped to the front yard where he was met by his mother.
His mother who was biting a hole in the side of her cheek to keep from laughing as she lectured child who was NOT raised in a barn...... that dropping your drawers in public and micturating on the property was naughty! And then the mother turned on her heel and gave a gasp as the held in laughter escaped.
Oh thank goodness for fairy godmothers and fried pickles and their magic powers that help mothers take things that come their way in stride.
LOL - My father always said... "Our kids do two things for us. First they make us proud; then they humble us."
ReplyDeleteWe mom's DEVINITELY have to take things in stride, go with the flow...
PS ... love the shirts! :D
ReplyDeleteOh dear! LOL! I'm going to laugh about that for a while. I'm glad the fairy godmother and the fried pickles have such excellent magical powers!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sure the fairy would HAVE to ask at this point - so - are people who actually are raised in a barn (or in the tops of trees - something like - oh, Montana Girl - are they, then, exPECTed to stand on top of towers, shedding their resources on the earth below? Because if they are, I've never, ever seen it.
ReplyDeleteCorrine - REALLY? "go with the flow"????? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCorine, Oh my gosh! Go with the flow is right! And it flowed and flowed and flowed. I swear he had gallons to water with! Oh that is too funny.
ReplyDeleteChastina, It is amazing what fried pickles can do for a person. I'm still giggling over the site as well. What that kid won't think of next!
Kristen, Assuming that you assume I'd know what you are talking about...... ;) I have been known to micturate from great heights myself..... I was irritated that boys got all of the fun and was bound and determined to join em. BUT I LIVED OUT IN THE BOONIES! Moonin' in the boonies! HA! Corrine's comment was fabulous. I got a good laugh out of it myself. Very good play on words.
At least it wasn't in the garbage can at school. . ..
ReplyDeleteWait, you have a fairy godmother? I wish I had one of those things…do they clean bathrooms too?
ReplyDeleteGlad to know that Mr. J really is all boy...
Sarah, HA! Yet...... He doesn't start kindergarten until the fall. We'll see then if he follows in his cousins foot steps and gets sent to the principals and kicked out of school on his first day. :D
ReplyDeleteUncle Rush, Yes, I do!! I bet she'd be your fairy godmother too if you were as obnoxious as me and called and asked her to do things for you......as long as it doesn't involve cleaning bathrooms....she has a crew that does that for her. I got to see them in action today. I wanted them for myself!
Yes, Mr. J is ALL boy. Another all a boy.
Lyndee, I dunno.... I've seen my daughter in some interesting situations that make me shake my head........
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a Mr J thing, cuz I found my Mr J peeing off the FRONT porch -- during that brief period of time when the old house actually HAD a front porch. From then on the rule was no peeing north of the garage.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I'm not such a fancy person that I can use a better word than "peeing"
Kathy, Micturate aint fancy. It is barn term for peeing. :D It be what the cows and harses do! And my son.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it.....your Mr. J and my Mr. J seem to have some things in common. But then again so does my Mr. J and your Mr. M...... Your kids are a bad influence on Mr. J :D
OH. MY. WORD. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! that must've been hilarious!!!!!!!!!!! lol :)
ReplyDeleteHanna, I'm surprised you didn't see it!
ReplyDeleteIt's a boy thing. I caught your younger bro. peeing in the ditch a few weeks ago. :D
I LOL-ed and HaHa-ed at this one! Love that little guy.
ReplyDeleteHA! Only because it wasn't your Ben!
ReplyDeleteJust because we don't have a high tower in our yard to pee off of!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, Out the window? :D
ReplyDeleteNow that could work, but let's not give him or the other two for that matter, any ideas.
ReplyDeleteI had a brothers' who slept walk. One went in the hamper and another lifted the seat of the couch and.... well, you know the rest. I wouldn't sit on that spot for years.
Natalie, I would never do such a thing! ;)
ReplyDeleteSleep walking brothers who are fully loaded. Nope. I'm thinking that wouldn't be a good combination.
Jody, Promise!! Fried pickles are incredible. Taste one, you'll be addicted.