Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Warning 3

This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

A few weeks ago, Miss K came to me and declared that she knew what she wanted to be for Halloween and would I help her make a costume. It has been a long time since I've gone full hog on pulling out the sewing machine, spending hours, days, weeks, on yanking out my hair and making homemade costumes for The Native's.

I told Henny Penny that yes, I'd make her a costume. Not just any costume mind you. She wanted to be the bumble bee fairy from the book "Fable Haven". I told her that finding bumble bee fabric might be a tidge hard but we'd go to the fabric store and see what we could find.

Off to the fabric store we went. JoAnne's. It has been years since I've bought fabric from JoAnne's for several reasons. We'll leave it at: It has been years since I've bought fabric from JoAnne's. The last time I did, the fabric was $1.99, $2.99...... a yard.

The first aisle we came to was loaded with fairy wings. Bedazzled Henny Penny and I started to lay them all out so we could see each one. Henny Penny decided the bumble bee fairy was stupid. She wanted to be the purple fairy. And then we saw, the green fairy wings with the purple glitter so it was decided, a multi colored fairy.

We grabbed the wings and set off to go and look at patterns. None on sale. Of course. We thumbed through the pattern books. I made snorty disgusted noises and comments under my breath about how all of the adult costumes looked like floozies and hookers.

Finally! We found THEEEEEE pattern. A beautiful fairy dress with several layers of flowy fabric in the skirt.

Next! The fabric! Off we went going up and down the aisles looking at the fabric.....touching....... oooohhhing..... "Look at this one!".

Fabric was found and as each of the six fabrics were put into my cart, warning alarm number 1 somehow got mis directed and if it rang. I didn't hear it. I saw the price of the fabric.... but it didn't register.

We stand in line waiting for our fabric to be cut. People are passing our cart and oooohing at our fabric and, "What are you going to make with that??"

The fabric, all six colors gets cut out. Yards and yards upon yards of it. Wow! That's a lot of fabric. Warning alarm number 2. Lots of fabric, lots of expensive fabric. "Did you hear anything? A bell? A buzzer? A GONG?" Nope. Still didn't register.

Henny Penny and I, after getting matching thread and what not to go with, made our way up to the cash register. I lay the fabric out, everything is rung up, and the cashier says, "That can't be right!" I tell her that that most certainly can NOT be right. I'd be out of my mind to pay that much for a costume!!!

The cashier rings it up again! Yup! It's right! The grand total. I'm gonna make you guess. How much do you think it was that left me near tears as I handed over the credit card and spent the rest of the evening sick to my stomach?!

Fifty dollars? Nope! Keep going!!!!

Seventy-five? Keep going....

NO! I'm not kidding! Keep going!

All night I was sick to my stomach. You know the feeling. I know you do. Fess up!

The next morning I called my sister and lamented. "What am I going to do?? The SM is going to KILL ME!"

I started thinking. What could I sell? My truck? Our house? How could I make up for the huge dumb mistake I'd made? And how in the heck did all of this not even give me the tiniest of a, "Lady! Are you out of your cotton picking mind of a clue??"

One hundred dollars! Nope! I know!! I'm dead serious. Keep going!

After I got off of the phone with my sister, I sat on my bed trying to figure out how I could justify my daughter having a Halloween costume that cost the same as a wedding dress! (In my day). And the dang thing wouldn't even have french seams! I was just going to zig zag the bottom of the thing! I can't have my baby girl wearing a dress with zig zag that costs that amount of money!

One hundred fifty? You are getting closer but sadly, no........ keep going!

And then.... I remembered...... my sister in law's sister saying something about some fabric she'd gotten and they'd taken it back! Maybe, just maybe!! Oh please oh please oh please. Do you think they'd take it back?

I grabbed the bags of fabric and drove like mad to JoAnne's saying a prayer the entire way. PLEASE TAKE BACK MY HIDEOUS MISTAKE? PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME PAY RETRIBUTION FOR HAVING MY CONTROL TOP PANTY HOSE ON TOO TIGHT!

I walked in the store...... plopped down my fabric and asked, "Do you take back fabric? Please tell me that you do? Or I'll slit my wrists on your cutting table!"

They didn't want a messy table. They took back the fabric. Every blessed piece and the wings. Every penny that I'd been sick over, put back on my credit card. All...... One hundred........ eighty.........five........ dollars worth.

Yes, you just read that correctly. Korrie! I could hug and kiss ya for that post you'd written about taking back fabric. If it is over a yard they'll take it back. Well, my six pieces were WELL over a yard........

I got back in the car and Henny Penny asked me what we were going to do for a costume. I told her not to worry, we'd go to the 'Marts and I'd figure something out. We walked through the costumes and guess what? A bumble bee fairy costume! For nineteen bucks!

Two days before I'd have snorted at spending nineteen bucks on a 'Mart costume but that day. BARGAIN!

So, warning 3. Don't get emotional. It skews your judgement. Not that I have any personal experience with this...... just sayin'...... hypothetically.


  1. I'm dying here. You should not make a person laugh so hard, especially with a mouth full of Butterfinger that she has been snitching from the Halloween candy bad (that no one else knows is open...)

    Glad to be of service. Tell K she looks great!

  2. Yeah, that's "bag." But "bad" probably is more descriptive.

  3. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS!! I don't even know how the ladies cutting the fabric let you do that!! I mean, isn't it supposed to save you money to homemake stuff! I guess with walmart down the street it's just not worth it! You make me laugh girl!

  4. That must have been some seriously beautiful fabric. I was guessing at $150 but thought there would be no way...WOW! I can imagine what a bargain the fairy costume is after you could have spent NUMOROUS hours making a $175 (or was it 185) costume. Rachel, I was having an ulcer right along with you.

  5. Wow! So glad to hear they took it back. The last couple costumes I've got at the Mart we've been able to use for two or three years.

  6. HOLY WOWZERS! That flippen costume is the identical one Katie picked out and was running around the house with last night as I make alterations. How cool is that? Yet again another Freeky coincendence?

  7. I made pioneer dresses, aprons, and bonnets last year for two of my girls. Everything was on sale. And I had coupons. It still cost enough that we went to the Salvation Army this year and just assembled out costumes.

    Makes me sad.

    But your girl sure looks cute!

  8. The costume still looks cute!!!

  9. I cannot believe you wrote that whole thing up. She looks great. But oh - the cost. Chaz had something like this happen = she ordered some hoity toity made to order thing from a foreign country and waited and waited, and it didn't come, and then was coming with duty and other charges, and then still didn't come, so she ended up with a last minute cheap as dirt Target thing (???) on sale . IT's wasn't Target. Walmart, maybe. Probably - and wore it to the party and looked GREAT. Not only that but the nasty little adult woman wore (as you could) a child's flipping size -

  10. Korrie, I can't tell/explain to you how relived I was when I remembered your post! You saved me lady!!

    Bad in the bag. :D

    Carrilyne, I know! So stupid!!! No, homemade means more time and money. Why do we do this??

    Lyndee, It was gorgeous fabric! She would have been the most lovely fairy princess ever! WITH ZIG ZAGGED SEAMS!

    Chastina, Hand me down costumes. Truly the best. Levi is wearing one I'd made Mr. B when he was in sixth grade.

    Jody, Coincidence? I think not! Miss K said that the name bumblebee came from the bumblebee having a big bum. ;)

    Anaise, It is sad! All of that time and money! I do love the homemade ones though... they truly are my favorites. Oh well.

    Hanna, She makes a cute bumble bee fairy doesn't she.

    Kristen, Considering how many costume parties Chazi goes to each year...... somehow...... I don't think her costume she didn't get in time will go to waste. ;)

  11. oh my stomach hurts. stress. and laughter. i am so sorry. but i am so happy they took it back!!!

    k is SO CUTE!!! ;) and beautiful. and cute!


  12. Misty, She WAS cute!!! She was one angry bee when she left to go Trick or Treating because she had to wear a rain coat over her costume and WHAT WAS THE POINT????

    As it is running buckets.......

    That's my girl! Vanity over practicality.

  13. I don't get it. Are you saying I have a big bum?

  14. Jody! LOL!! NO! We were walking home from school and Miss K said, "Bumblebee. Wanna know why it's called a bumblebee? Cuz it has a big bum!" :D

  15. I don't know. $185 might have been worth it, IF you hadn't had to sew it, too!

  16. Kathy, That's just it! It would have been a lousy sewing job! I couldn't bring myself to cut up that fabric and zig zag it for $185! I would have had to put french seams in the entire thing and make it so she could wear it to every prom and her wedding!

  17. Oh my. $185!!! I would've thrown up.

    You may have gotten forgiveness from the SM with one of those little floosie numbers...just saying.

  18. Anon, The no-fail go to, last ditch resort. ;)

  19. Oy, how awful! That'll bring you down to earth with a bump after such a fun shopping trip.
    I'm glad it all worked out. I probably would've thrown up on the cashier right there!

  20. Ginna, Took the air out of our balloon faster than a hyper vacumme!

  21. And everybody lived happily ever after in the end.

    Rock on.


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