Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Monday, March 21, 2011

It's Not Rocket Science


I had a discussion with my mother recently that I would like to share. 

This weekend has S-T-U-N-K!  Last week I was getting up early doing the 'cram before swim suit season' workout when I hurt my back.  Hurt it real good.  It still hurts.  I am now going to physical therapy to try to get the joint that has decided to lock itself  in place to unlock.  Talk about a pain in the butt!!  (The joint is in my hip)

Here's what I've learned from this whole experience:

I have been laying on this here couch for over five years now.  The only time I get hurt is when I try to get up off of it and exercise.  I don't get hurt laying/sitting on the couch eating bon bons!!  NO!  It is when I exercise.  Ya follow?

Give me a vitamin I have to swallow and I sit there looking at the ceiling with it on the back of my tongue while I try and try to get the pill that while it was in my hand was the size of a pencil eraser, on the back of my tongue it has become a water melon.  Eventually I GULP and the dang thing becomes lodged in the back of my throat and I start to gag and grab water guzzling hoping the thing will dissolve before someone has to administer the Heimlich.  Never in my life have I gagged on chocolate, cookies, cake, etc.  Never!!  Ya follow?

Exercising and eating vitamins, (vegetables falls under vitamins....they both start with the letter 'v' for volatile and vomit.) are harmful.  They are very bad.

Laying on the couch eating truffles all day is good.   No pain!  Ya follow?

Good.  That is the end of my discussion for today.  I might hurt something........ like breaking a nail from all this typing............

8 comments:

  1. That is solid prove that chocolate and ice cream is good for you

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  2. Scarf kid is drawing a legitimate conclusion from the case presented above, but I can sense a fair around of vested interest in his approval of the case. Truth should never be mercenary. Whose child is that, anyway?

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  3. I agree with you! We got to do what we can to protect ourselves. :D

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  4. You know, Charles Darwin was on to something with his natural selection theory. Work with me here. Herbert Spencer said it best relative to the preservation of favored races in the struggle for life. Your efficiencies and adaptation abilities will most definitely live on and thrive through you and your teachings of your offspring. Especially through that of the likings of the smells of spray paint and the preferences of chocolate mixed with anomalies such as popcorn and perhaps beer (LOL). See, any individual organism which succeeds in reproducing itself is "fit" and will contribute to survival of its species. But that certainly is not limited to just the "physically fittest" ones (God knows I'd be screwed) though some of us will be better adapted to the "circumstances" than others. Just think of it as you are evolving into "survival of the fit enough." You my dear are merely creating your own ecological niche!

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  5. Sounds good to me! The couch diet and exercise routine- I bet you could market it and a make thousands! The only bad thing you left out was about the crane they will need to lift my 1,000 lb body off said couch when I die.

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  6. Scarf Kid, And getting more and more solid everyday...

    Kristen, The kid is obviously homeschooled. Warped and no social life. Looks at things quite skewed. Must be his teacher. :D

    Chastina, Here Here!!

    Jody, It's all about making history. I don't know who's history, but if it helps further the historical and scientific world, I'm willing to sacrifice all. :D

    Natalie, Cremation. Burn my house down around me. That will take care of the mess my house is in as well.

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  7. Why do those bloody tablets always stick in your throat???? Scarf Kid sounds like he has got it right :-)

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  8. Jenni, I about fell off my chair laughing at your comment. Still giggling. I'VE NO IDEA! My mother can swallow a whole patch of watermelon size pills in one gulp.... me..... just can't do it....

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