Wednesday, January 4, 2012
I don't know when I starting noticing hands. I just know that I notice them. Maybe because since I can remember I've been self conscious of mine. In high school mine were always dry and my nails, I could never get them to grow. Still can't. I'd see other girls' hands with pretty nails, nice and soft, long fingers..... not short and stubby with big palms like mine.
Growing up we worked. We worked all year long outside with our hands. My hands looked it.
As I sit here typing a lot of the same envies are still there. I'll never have nice nails. My hands are dry. My fingers still short and stubby with big palms. When I am at home working they don't bother me but when I am out and about and see other women's hands, the nice manicured pretty hands, I get envious and want to hide mine.
I still work. All year long with my hands. My hands look it.
A man's hands are different. Why in the world am I so fascinated by hands? Because I'm odd. The End! A man's hands should not be soft in my opinion. I know it is becoming all the rage for men to get pedicures and fix their nails and the such. A man's hands should be work worn. They should be a bit rough. When giving a hand shake it should be firm. I'm sure this is all written in the gospel of hands somewhere and by not following is breaking some hand care commandment.
See? I'm warped with the whole hand thing!! Don't even get me started with feet. They just disgust me..
Being fascinated with hands it is a wonder that I never noticed Levi's. I mean I noticed them...... but I didn't 'notice' them until his pediatrician pointed some things out to me. Like the fact that his fingers and toes are really short. The pediatrician clicked off some term like he was checking off an everyday list of things to buy on his grocery list as he was checking Levi over.
I took Levi's hand into mine. Yeah, I guess his fingers are abnormally short. Hmmm. I hadn't noticed nor did I notice that his toes are the same........ abnormally short. There's a clinical term for it. I don't remember what it is.
I guess I hadn't noticed because like everything else with Levi, unless someone else points it out or says something, I don't see him as others do. To me when he tries to sign his name and has to hold down his fingers so his pinky will stay up to sign the letter "I" at the end of his name....... or when he is signing, "I love you" he has to hold his pinky up........ that is just one of the things that makes Levi so endearing....... I hadn't realized it was because of his little fingers.......
During church while we are sitting next to each other, I like to reach over and intertwine Levi's fingers in between mine for a few seconds. He only lets me for a few seconds but, he lets me! Understanding how Levi is and how he doesn't really let you hold him or touch him very much I can't explain what this means to me, to hold his little hand in mine for a few seconds.
Two hands intertwined. Both with short stubby fingers. Mine, and his............