Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Flippin' Moon

You know what?  If you don't laugh, you'll end up with more than one crack. You have to take situations and enjoy them for what they're worth.  This post is being half dictated by Rachel to Kristen.  Kristen is "butt"ing into this story to make sure that it stays decent enough for innocent eyes.  But it really is a crack up.

First of all, you have to understand what a seizure is like—or a convulsion or whatever these things are that have been Rachel's exercise regime for the last week.  These things are hard to describe because they are a complete split between the mind and the body.  The mind takes a vacation—while the body explores new shapes, evidently considering a possible career as a contortionist.  In doing this, it burns up approximately the same number of calories that it costs an athlete to run a marathon.  When you're done with it, you feel like your muscles are ripped to shreds.  Certainly, your dignity gets pretty shredded.

They come on kind of like tornados.  First there's nothing, then there's everything, then there's really nothing.  And while Rachel's mind is, actually, somewhat conscious of what's going on, or at least, it thinks it is, it has no say whatsoever in what the hands, arms, chin neck, stomach, legs decide to do.  And they are all deciding on their own.  Independently.  Emphatically.

At first, all this was pretty scary.  But you kind of get used to it, and you begin to think about what all this probably looks like from the outside.  And all of a sudden, you start to see the humor in it.  (Kristen's note: dark humor.)  So as Rachel became a pro over the days, while she was jerking around on the outside (not being a jerk), she was actually giggling on the inside.

When you couple this with the elegant indignity of the backless gown—well—it can get awkward.  Especially when you are in the quick response room, which is situated directly across from the nurse's station so that they can see straight into it at all times.  And the bed is arranged so that your head is in the far corner of the room, while your feet are presented to the world.

During one interesting episode (out of so many), instead of just doing the pretzel thing, Rachel's feet decided to head north.  Which kind of posed a big problem.  With her pose.  At least from the south end—at which were the hall (where anybody can walk by) and the nurse's desk (where people are actually keeping watch) (and eating lunch).

"Dang," Rachel would have thought, if she had been thinking—because it seemed to her that the moon must be rising, early.  It was unbearable.  Oh, wait—unfortunately, it was VERY bare able.  For days, Rachel got a big kick out of having exposed herself to the world (one of her great ambitions) until her mom ruined it by informing her that OF COURSE she had been completely modest, draped, guarded by the angel mother who has spent days leaping around the bed, pulling blankets back down—just in time.

Her mother also points out gratefully that Rachel's arm and hand, which have decided that convulsion time is actually pointing time—are actually point with the pointing finger and not some other, less socially acceptable finger, which could prove awkward.  As it might have been yesterday, when the pointing happened to be directed at a very awkward region of the body of a male nurse who was only trying to help at the time.  Rachel's mother would like everyone to understand that she did try to raise her daughter up as a lady.  Mooning and flipping were not on the agenda.  But we all know Rachel, and how futile her efforts actually were.


  1. Oh! To see a full moon rise in the hospital. What a sight! (Although I'm sure the hospital personal are use to such things.)

  2. Kristin asked us to read and comment, but honestly -- I'm just not quite sure how to respond.

    I'm glad to hear you are home. I hope you keep improving -- don't want you to end up in the hospital again.

    I have to tell you, though, that if you want sympathy about being in the hospital, don't turn to Michael. He LIKES going to the hospital. But Primary Children's is more fun than UVRMC. They have a play room and if you aren't well enough to go to it, they bring toys and crafts right to you in your own room. And they have a dvd/video library AND video games! Maybe you should give instructions that the next time you have to go to the hospital, you want to go to the FUN hospital. I'll bet they won't even be able to tell that you aren't a kid.

    God bless, my dear. Send those kids to my trampoline any time, any day. Love you.

  3. I'm so sorry that you have to go through these trials. You are in such good spirits though it truly amazes me. You are still soooo dang funny even after going through so much. Seizure's sound so scary! I can't even imagine how it must feel, though you've done a pretty good job at explaining it. I pray that your health will improve more and more each day and that you and your family will receive many blessings. Please always remember that I am just down the street if you need ANYTHING at all! Give me a call. Oh and send that sweet little girl of yours down and we'll have a girls day doing all kinds of girly things!
    So are you home now?

  4. So you are home? That's good, but you need to listen to what everyone is saying and STAY DOWN! I miss your smiling face, but if I have to wait a year to see it and you are ALL better, then that a wait I can make. Besides, that would be just in time for Bryce to come home from his Mission.

    I also have to agree with Kathy's comments about the fun hospital. If anyone could pull that off, it would be you!

    Rest my dear! We only want the best for you and your family.

    Love you,

  5. What!! We can't see you for a whole year!!! That sounds so harsh, for us and for you! I'm glad that you have older, more responsible punks to take care of your little ones, but like everyone else has already told you, I'm just around the corner if you need a place for them to play. Leave a comment on my blog if you need anything, like chocolate chip cookies, or the like, I will be all over it!


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