Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Angels at Cost-Co

I wasn't going to post about this because it is personal but the more I thought about it, the more I thought I'd share because of the lessons learned.

Yesterday started out typical.  I started to make a cake.  As the cake was cooling and getting ready to be frosted I went upstairs by myself and walked down memory lane.  The three days I had had with my daughter, the few letters that were written back and forth to her adopted parents before things were closed at six months, the few photos I have of her when she was three months old and then six months old. 

Normally walking down memory lane is sweet but for some reason, this time, it left me with a heavy heart and I cried.  Several times.  I couldn't quit!  Honestly woman!  Get a grip I thought...

I had been at Cost-Co the day before and had seen some roses that were just lovely so decided to get out of the house and go and get those.  As I drove, I continued to cry.  I was a mess!

Taking a deep breath and making sure I didn't look like a bawl baby I got out of the car and went into the store.  Cost-Co on Saturdays.  It's a mess.  I headed straight for the flowers and found the roses I wanted.  I picked them up and then noticed some other flowers. 

Bright happy yellow ones with a big huge blue hydrangea in the middle.  My baby is my bluebird!  I had to get those flowers too.  An emotional buy obviously but I knew The SM wouldn't mind and by the way, as a side note, he was going to get me flowers, I just beat him to it....... should anyone be wondering....... 

I took both bouquets of flowers to the registers to pay and tried finding a line that didn't wrap clear to the back of the store.  Exaggerating.  Sort of.  I found a line and a husband and wife moved in front of me.  Not on purpose, it just happened that way, their cart loaded.  We all stood there for a minute waiting our turn and then the wife turned and looked at me cradling the flowers in my arms like an infant.  She asked me if I was only buying flowers.  I told her that yes, I was.  She insisted I go ahead of her.  I told her that was okay but she insisted.  I thanked her and smiled at her as I moved in front of them in line.  My heart started to lift.  As I stood in line, I quietly in my mind, said a prayer to my Heavenly Father thanking him for such kindness shown to me.

After paying for my flowers, I again turned to the lady and thanked her for letting me go ahead. 

As I slowly walked to the exit along with the mass of people, a grandfatherly figure who worked at Cost-Co came up to me and said, Those flowers are pretty.  Almost as pretty as you are.   I laughed and thanked him. 

And then I said another prayer thanking my Heavenly Father because I my heart was even lighter and as I walked out of the store, my heart was singing, "There is Sunshine in My Soul Today".  I felt true happiness. I was smiling.

I again said a prayer, thanking my Heavenly Father for sending angels to let me know that He knew, and He cared.

With a happy heart I put the flowers in my car and headed to the party store.  We were having a party were we not?  What better way to celebrate than with balloons.  Lots of balloons. 

Mizpah. "God watch between me and thee while we are apart one from another". ( My sister painted this for me. )

Nineteen blue balloons for my little bluebird.

A heart felt gift from Kristen.

You never know when a kind word or action to a complete stranger may be in fact, an act from God.  I hope I continue to remember this lesson I learned from these two angels who touched my life yesterday in a way they will never know.  God bless them.


  1. I wondered how you were feeling about your girl's birthday--you seemed chipper, but . . . I wondered.

    I know that my girls' birthmom frequently tells me how much she misses them. It seems to make a difference for her when I can send some pictures and tell her a few stories about how they are doing.

    I really meant it when I said I wished for your heart to be joyful when you think of her. I know that every precious moment I have with my girls is touched with sorrow for the woman who does not get to share in them. I want her life to be full and happy and satisfying--so that I may more fully enjoy my moments as mother.

    I hope that doesn't sound like I'm heaping guilt on birthmothers--or demanding joy out of sacrifice.

    Aarrgh! These feelings are so complicated!

    Instead of fumbling on, getting wordier and less clear, I'm simply going to say I'm glad you've shared these intimate feelings. They help me. They help many people.

    And I really hope your heart is truly overflowing with joy.

  2. and here i sent u all those emails. sorry rachel. but someday you will cross paths with her! She has to feel your love...mothers just do that. near or far.

  3. Thanks for sharing, thats a tough one. I bet she is a beautiful person herself, how could she not be with a mother like you. Love Kirstens heart too and I bet it was a fun party! Hugs xx

  4. Could I just tell you that this post made me smile? More so since I was privy to read it before all else.

    Mucho thanks.

  5. Do you know what I really love about you? You always return thanks to your Father in Heaven for his small (and large) gifts to you where it is due. I admire that about you more than you will ever know.

  6. Anaise, I do not ever once regret my decision that I made all those years ago and here is why. I truly believe, that these children go where they are intended to go in the first place. I was just the 'vehicle' to get my daughter here because her mum couldn't.

    I do miss her and think of her everyday but I have peace of mind and feel in some ways more like an aunt to her. She is not mine.

    I feel the same about your daughters. They are where they are supposed to be. You are their mother, from the very beginning.

    I am grateful for forever families so we can all be together someday and catch up where we all left off before we came to this earth. It is going to be fantastic renewing these old relationships. What a happy day that will be!!

    Alex, :) Not at all!! I thought it was so sweet of you and seriously, it didn't affect me at all. I hope she feels my love. I pray for her often.

    Jenni, I bet she is a beautiful person too. I'm a bit prejudiced. :D Kristen's heart is wonderful. Both her human/body/soul one and her felt one.

    Anony, Mucho you're welcome. If I made you smile, then mission accomplished.

    Tami, Do you know what I love about you? That you can see past all of my oober faults and still love me. Thank you.

  7. God bless those "Fairy Godmothers" where ever they may be. And bless them for being there for you even in the smallest of ways.
    You always amaze me.

  8. Nat, You caught that! Yesterday morning I posted this and then when Meridee talked in church I just sat and smiled. I'd had a "Fairy Godmother" moment!! Too funny.

  9. Natalie - Amen. What she said, and how she said it. I was thinking of those talks the whole time i was reading. I only wish I had known, so wound up in my own family thing this weekend. I'd have found you and wiped your eyes. Someday, she'll find you, that little one. And won't she be lucky when she does?

  10. Kristen, You had much wonderfulness going on in your life this weekend. As it should be. I was thinking about it earlier today. I think sometimes, we allowed to feel 'alone', everyone busy around us and not available at that moment so that we turn to our Father who is always available and there. A reminder to us to turn to Him.... Not a bad thing.

  11. You are so beautiful in many ways. Know in your heart that she does feel your love. Something too wonderful like that can not be ignored in her heart, even if it is just a "hunch" or "feeling" she may have. Continue to believe in God's will, it will never lead you astray.

  12. Jody, He hasn't led me astray yet! :D


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