Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Friday, February 11, 2011

I Left My Brain in The Women's Room

There is a book out called, The Female Brain and another called, The Male Brain.  I've read, The Female Brain, well, parts of it anyway and find it to be quite facinating and a huge relief!  It totally makes sense!  All those times when you think you are completely nuts!  There's a reason for it and we aren't!   We're normal. 

I haven't read, The Male Brain.  I don't feel there is a need as I already know that men really and truly are nuts.  I don't need a book to tell me that.  I live with major amounts of burping farting chewing/talking with your mouth open full of food testosterone. 

What I would like, is to read a book called, The West Nile Brain.    I would like to know why some days/weeks my thoughts and mind is clear.  I can process things.  Then other weeks like this past week.....  My stupid day post which turned into a stupid week....  happens.

Let me give you an example.  Last night, I went to a meeting.  After I'd taken off my coat and sat down, it became quite obvious that sitting for an hour and a half wasn't an option with what my bladder was trying to tell me.  I got up, and walked down the hall of the building looking for the Ladies Room.  As I walked down the hall I was very aware that fuzzy was on the brain.  I was having a hard time pushing through the fuzz.  On my right I saw the above sign.  Logically I knew it was the Women's room and was the room I needed to enter.  I let my legs do what was natural all the while as my brain kept screeching that it wasn't sure.  I kept my eyes on the sign telling myself that it was the right room.  I was okay but it didn't process. 

I went into the Ladies room, did what I needed to, all the while fearing I would step out and see that I was actually in the wrong room.  I hoped that a woman would be in there so I could be reassured.  I was alone.  As I walked out of the restroom there were some men standing in the hall talking.  I once again glanced at the sign just to be sure.  I did go in the right place right?  These men weren't going to be laughing at me as I walked away because I'd gone in the Men's room!!!  Once again, I saw the above sign.  Yes, it was the Women's room.  I was okay.  But my brain still couldn't process it and I wasn't sure. 

Normally, if I'd been in my 'right mind' and had gone in the wrong restroom I'd have walked out, seen the men, laughed, and taken a bow, and shrugged it off as another "Rachel" moment. 

This isn't normal though.  It's scary.  It's irritating.  It's frustrating.  To be confused.  To know that things are not connecting, I can only imagine that those in the early stages of alzheimers or dimentia must feel this same thing! 

So, my stupid day post, when I couldn't connect and have a normal conversation........  if ever we have that sort of a conversation....... just know that I am trying to figure out if I am going in the men's room or the women's.  It's a difficult thing to figure out!!


  1. I had some time this morning and thought I'd stop in and say hello! I have those moments too. I wish I had 'West Nile' to blame it on. Darn, I guess it must be the onset of Dementia. Definitely not as sexy! Take care!

  2. Helena, Yay for extra time!! I'm glad you stopped by. You don't need WNV to be sexy. You already are!!! So glad you stopped by.

  3. Oh boy, I get that for sure. It is scary Rach, and it is frustrating. We CAN be thankful that it is not like it was before, where the ONLY thing our brain could attempt to process in a 12 hour period (waking hours) was whether or not we were just in the men's room then that simple and epic failed event was the only functionality for the it goes for our noggins. I'm not sure why we have to ebb and flow so much, but if you get er figured out would ya lemme know?

    You know those stupid word verifications we have to do on various parts of the internet? Some days I fail all of them untill I get a simple 4 letter word spaced out far enough so my brain can process it. It is so frustrating for me because I would have paid money that I was right all those other times. Who knew?

  4. Jody, When I wrote this, I almost wrote. Jody will understand this!!

    You are as always, right. At least it isn't like this everyday all day. There are the good clear days. There is improvement.

    At the meeting I was at, a lady said, "It is not what we do in a day but how we do it". I really liked that because so many days I feel like my exsistence is pointless. So, even if I'm on the couch.... Rather than turn into myself, I can still reach out with a smile or a touch to my kids....

    I totally get ya on the word verification thing. I'm half tempted to click on the wheel chair icon and get 'help'.

  5. I wonder what my own excuse is - I can't finish a sentence without interrupting myself, then I can't remember what I was talking about before the interruption. And I never know what day of the week it is. I've never walked into a men's room - no WAIT. I HAVE. I HAVE. Oh, man - I just remembered that. Oy.

  6. I was going to laugh a little at your confusion, but then as I read I realized that it wasn't a laughing matter. I'm sorry. I hope your days have more clarity than not . . . sincerely.

  7. Kristen, I can't think of someone with more clarity of brain than you!!! I don't think you have anything to worry about. Seriously! Your brain is so beyond mine. I wonder that you keep such a dull pet around such as I... :D

    Anaise, Oh laugh. Do laugh! If we don't laugh then we'll cry. I'd rather laugh. And do, quite often. As frustrating as all of this is.... if I didn't laugh..... that is when you'll need to be concerned. :D Thank you for your sweet sentiment.

  8. Kristen, P.S. I do recall..... last year..... standing outside of the men's room guarding it so a certain someone could use it. :D Hint: Swiss Days!!

  9. Oh Rachel, I can understand how scary it must be to feel that level of unconnected confusion. You are wonderful though in your way of dealing with things like this, as you sense of humour always shines radiantly through. You have such a lot going on in your life I'm not surprised that sometimes your brain is elsewhere!

  10. Oh, how I dislike that feeling! Sorry to hear you had a week like that.

  11. soory that was me The Scarf Kid

  12. Julie, Honestly, if I didn't laugh, I think I'd go crackers. Especially with Levi. I know people think I have such a warped sense of humor but honestly, how else do you deal with it?? I can't spend everyday in a puddle of tears. So I laugh. Even if sometimes it comes across more as hysteria then a laugh. :D

    Chastina, Nothing a big dose of chocolate won't take care of I'm sure. ;P

    Scarf Kid, Just you wait..... that's all I'm sayin.... after I smack you upside the head....


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