I used to care. I still do I guess, maybe it is just that I am tired and I know that no matter how hard I try, it will get destroyed in the end.
I'm talking about material things. BL and AL. Life Before Levi, and life After Levi was born.
I've been complimented many a time, BL, on how well I took care of things. The SM works hard and I tried really hard showing him I appreciated how hard he works by taking care of the things he provided us with. I am also very sentimental. Things that have been given to me either as a gift or handed down... I cherish.
Don't get me wrong, I still do, it's just, I look at things differently now. Here, let me show you.
My beautiful lace curtains my sister gave me. Levi couldn't see out so he cut them right up the center. Thanks Amelia Bedelia...
The banister. They are over rated right?
The wall next to his bed that we keep patching up. The brand new sheets he cut up, not pictured, they went into the trash.
Darling curtains. What? You don't see them? Oh riiiight. Well, that is because Levi ripped them down. Several times. I gave up. I gave up right after he ripped them down and then took the matching lamp shade that was on a cute lamp and ripped it apart. Pink fringe all over the carpet.
Henny Penny's dresses. Sashes. Good thing Levi cut them all off for her because any girl knows, sashes just get in the way, especially when trying to use the biffy!
Henny Penny's American Doll horse. It had a nose...
When one kicks the bottom of a door repeatedly.... this is bound to happen.
I love hanging my clothes out on the clothes line. The smell when I bring them in..... the latest cutting catastrophe. My clothes line, every wire, has been cut, and they are all now hanging on the ground.
Levi's new wagon. He had it all of a day before it broke. Admittedly this wasn't his fault really. They don't make toys like they used to. His old Little Tykes wagon lasted for years. The Radio Flyer.... minutes.
See what I mean? All material stuff. I've learned, or as I said, maybe I'm just tired, that it doesn't matter. If I really really care about something, it goes away in a box for safe keeping, only........ what is the point if something is shoved away in a box never to be looked at and enjoyed? When I die, I can't take it with me. It is just stuff!
The material stuff anyway...... this though, a little body covered in scars because of this....... this I can't ignore and not care about. This I try really hard to protect and care for. Most days I feel like it is a losing battle. But I keep trying.
Because this I will have in heaven. For eternity. This little child who resides in a really big body. This little boy who still wants to be held and cuddled and looks ridiculous on my lap in all of his 100 pounds, this is worth every ounce of energy I can put forth into preserving and caring for. Holding and cuddling with this sweet boy, makes all of that other stuff...... not a big deal. Frustrating! But not a big deal.