Bleach

Let's talk about bleach today. Did you know that it actually has "highlights"? It does! If you go to the "Clorox" website it says:

"Highlights
It kills the germs on surfaces that may make your family sick.
Clorox® Regular-Bleach helps reduce the spread of germs around your home by killing common viruses, bacteria and fungi that can make your family sick."

That fungi thing.......that's me......remember? "Hey fUUUNguuuus!"

As you also know I've been putting bleach on my "rings" for quite some time now trying to kill the ugly little creatures.

Did you also know that bleach comes in several fabulous scents? It does! It is like going into a department store and trying on several different kinds of perfume. Here, let me demonstrate:

Here for your viewing pleasure ladies and gentleman we have "Mountain Fresh" scent. I AM a mountain girl so this scent of course drew me in immediately. I like to smear on this scent when I am feeling especially nostalgic for home.

Open the lid and sniff.........mmmm. Smear it on my skin........is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle it took me right back to MT!

Aaaaah, "Citrus Blend". Doesn't that just sound invigorating? I like to put this on right before I work out. It gives me a feeling of zesty power! Open the lid and sniff.........mmmm, maybe I should pour me a glass of this before I go and work out too! It could work both inside AND outside. Smear it on my skin..............is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle I could have sworn it was full of fresh squeezed oranges.

Lemon! I love the smell of lemons don't you? I like to put on this scent right before I start to clean my house. I figure if I smell like lemons then it will rub off onto my house by osmosis and my house will be cleaner as will the surrounding air around us........and the couch I am laying on.....all surfaces should be disinfected remember. It said in that "highlights" plug. I'd hate for my family to get sick. Smear it on my skin..............is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle I could smell the lemon like a lemonade stand on a hot summer day.

"Clean linen" scent. Now this is a unique scent and you are probably asking why in the world would I want to smell like clean linen but I have to tell you.......clean linen is a good thing. I like to put on this scent after changing my punks stinky diapers. It just gives me a feeling of.......I don't know.........clean linen! Smear it on my skin..............is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle I could have sworn I was back in my favorite clothing store running my hands over all of the clean clothes that haven't been thrown up on or pooped on yet........

"Fresh Meadow" scent. I am a hopeless romantic. I love flowers. All flowers and there is nothing like coming upon a meadow that is full of colorful wild flowers. I probably use this scent the most. I feel like life is too short not to enjoy fresh cut flowers and since I don't get out much these days and can't get myself flowers from Cost-Co I douse myself liberally in this scent...............is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle I could have sworn I was on a mountain top meadow bellerin' the words "the hiiiiills are aliiiiiiive with the sound of muuuuusiiiiiiiic."

"Lavender" scent. Last but not least........the relaxing scent of lavender. This of course I use right before I go to bed. Puts me right to sleep like a baby.........Smear it on my skin..............is it just me or do I smell like regular old bleach..........must be just me because when I sniffed in that bottle my eyes were already starting to get heavy and it was all I could do to stay awake long enough to apply the stuff before falling into bed to blissfully dream about the scent I've not bought yet.........the scent of "Rain"...............