I am always amazed at how many people Levi has touched. So many that I had no idea until they have come and told me. It means a lot......that so many people care. And with that care, are wondering how Levi is doing.
I think Levi is doing better than his mother quite frankly. I'm still waiting until it is convenient to have a melt down.
I have spent the last few days starting with the first post I ever posted on this blog labeling all of the Levi ones. One post in particular caught my eye and it really yanked the rug out from under me. For some reason I had most conveniently made myself to believe that I had longer before Levi would hit the next phase of his disease, in fact, I had myself convinced that we were going to beat this! That Levi is different and wasn't going to follow any patterns that other AHC kids have followed. Then I read this post and what a slap in the face! I thought I had more time....Levi turns 8 in March. All of a sudden the seizures are back but it is a fluke right? He has until he's 10 or 11. But I forgot......that it was 8 or 9.
Gosh it hurts ya know? I know that our Savior Jesus Christ came to this earth and atoned for everything. Our sins, our hurts, our pains.....He already suffered for us so all I need to do is ask Him to take this pain for me. I don't have to shoulder this alone and "Come, What May and Love It"!
But...there is opposition in all things and if I don't feel the pain....I don't feel the good....so there has to be some pain right? Life isn't all roses and boxes of chocolates. Those roses have thorns and those chocolates have calories OR..... the thorns have roses....and the calories have chocolate.......?
In answer to every one's question, Levi is doing great. He's complained of several headaches since. He's had some digression mainly in the making it to the toilet to go potty area.....We can't let him out of our sight again so I type this as Levi takes a bath.....but he's as cheerful as ever and well......Levi! And for all of you that know Levi, you know what I mean by that.
Thanks for asking and for all of your prayers. Prayers are powerful.
Jody, He is always happy. He is such a huge prism of light in our household. Light and joy. I can't imagine life without him. They say laughter is the best medicine and he gives us large doses everyday.
ReplyDeleteBrian said something last night that really hit me. He said, "When Mary came and told Jesus about Lazarus he wept. Jesus wept! He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead and yet he still was sad, felt the pain, and wept!"
It made me feel a lot better because I try so hard suppressing these types of feelings thinking I'm not justified? I have to be strong? I don't know why. Maybe because if I actually 'wept' I'd be acknowledging the pain?
Anyway, the Lord is in charge and I do believe that He will help carry the pain and difficult things in life if we but ask him.
I think we are supposed to feel the pain, because like you say, without the pain we don't know the joy (unfortunately, right?). But not too much. We aren't supposed to take it all alone. Thank goodness because I think all the pain of mortal life would be murderous to try to shoulder by ourselves.
ReplyDeleteBut Brian is so right too--we have every right to feel pain and sadness and we should acknowledge them. I think that anyway in my short experience.
Love you.
Isn't it amazing how the Lord teaches us through different sources!! I love you.
ReplyDeleteGinna, I love you too!!! And you are right. To know the good and to appreciate the good we must taste the bad. We don't have to eat the entire thing....but taste.
ReplyDeleteVirginia, I am constantly amazed at where my lifes lessons come from. Most of the time through small and simple things....great things are brought to pass. I love you too!
I'm glad that Levi is doing good. I forgot about that post. Has it really been almost 2 years?!?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish we didn't have to deal with the pain. Although it does make the good times that much better.
Chastina, Fraid so. Two whole years!
ReplyDeleteWe will sit close together.
ReplyDeletei was thinking about this very thing...what brian said about Jesus weeping. i was thinking that even the Lord, with a perfect eternal perspective will weep and sorrow for the pain of just one person...one child...how much more do we feel sorrow and weep with our imperfect finite perspectives? i weep with you rachel. so many people do. for you really. for levi and the pain he feels. but also for your joy. for his joy. because when he isn't in pain he seems to experience more joy than any person i have ever known. i love you all so much. thank you for letting so many people be blessed by your experiences.
ReplyDeleteKristen, Comfort.
ReplyDeleteMisty, I appreciate your words. Sometimes when I drivel on I think people must think, "Life of our own is hard enough, we don't want to read about someone elses sniffle moments! Where's the fluff? The escape from reality?"
Kinda hard to put your heart out there but that is the person that I am. An all or nothing kinda gal.
So true about Levi and his joy. The boy feels so much joy and takes such pleasure in life that you can't help but not be affected by it.
Hoping you the best with Levi. Have you videotaped him yet? You know, just for fun? If not, that might be a good idea...every time I look back on videos of my old classes, family, etc., I can see how much we've all changed and grown 'since then.'
ReplyDeleteHope your holiday is a great one.
Mr. Z, No, I haven't. Lots of photos but no video. I can't bring myself to. I'm not sure why. Maybe because if I video him then.......ya know? I need to. I know I need to and I will be so upset and angry if I don't.....'if'.....'when'.....
ReplyDeleteI just need to tell myself it is just for fun! To see how much he's grown right?
Have a great holiday yourself and safe return travels.
Rachel, I'm visiting your blog for the first time today, and just learning about AHC. What a burden for a little boy and his family to carry, and yet what a blessing to know, as you obviously do, that you're not carrying it alone.
ReplyDeleteI would consider it an honor to join those in prayer for Levi and your family.
Lori, I'm glad you are visiting! Welcome. Frankly, it is a terrifying blog to visit. Quite spastic most of the time but I welcome any and all visitors and especially those who will pray for my Levi. :D
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