I have a hat. It's a pilgrim's hat. It was given to me by my doctor. True story! Why on earth would a doctor give me a pilgrim's hat? I'll tell you why. Here's how it goes. You see, when you are getting ready for surgery there are certain procedures that take place to make sure there won't be any complications. Blood work has to be checked, your insides scraped, and void.
Void? Definition of void:
1. Containing no matter; empty.
2. Not occupied; unfilled.
3. Completely lacking; devoid: void of understanding.
4. Ineffective; useless
I know exactly what void is. I write a check, I make a mistake filling it out so in big letters I write across it: VOID The check is useless; it contains no matter/money. I get void!
At my last doctor's appointment I was given my pilgrims hat and a piece of paper. My pilgrims hat goes upside down in the turlit and danged if it isn't multi functional. You can use it as a liquid measuring cup! Them pilgrims were resourceful! On the paper it has categories that I am supposed to fill in for the next 48 hours. How many ounces of liquid I drank, what time, how many ounces I void, what time.
Hold on a second! How many ounces I void? I leaned over the counter at the nurses station and in a loud whisper I said, "How many ounces I void. Is that like,....... how many ounces I pee?"
Trying to keep straight faces the nurses nodded in the affirmative.
Maybe it's a good thing I can't have anymore Native's. The space between my ears seems to have a rather large void in it that gets larger and larger everyday. That would be void as in, not occupied; completely lacking; ineffective; useless. The adjective form of void by the way.... Not the verb form....... which would be.......
Hey! Did you know that a pilgrims hat also makes a great flying saucer? Or, you could put it in your garden and cut a little hole in the side and make a little toad house out of it. But then if you cut a hole in the side you wouldn't be able to measure liquids in it anymore and then that would make it void.
Dang I'm good.........
ugh. i hate it when i write a witty comment and it is voided. i said great things and then i hit publish comment and then my fabulous...BRILLIANT....comment was GONE. gone gone gone. well. you are good. i said that. and you are funny. and now i will try the publish button again.
ReplyDeletethey BOTH worked! now i will have THREE!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachel! I've never thought of how interesting the word void is.
ReplyDeleteI also have a void in my brain. I didn't want it to grow so I'm finished having kids, besides the fact that I know I'm finished having kids for other reasons. ...hmmmm, a void can grow.
void. perfect word explaining my brothers perfectly void head. :)
ReplyDeleteHaving you in my life fills a void. It's up to you to decide on which definition fits.
ReplyDeleteMisty, Wow! You used void TWICE! And commented THREE TIMES which totally filled a void in my life!
ReplyDeleteChastina, Until my doctors visit I didn't know void had so many possibilities! :)
Hanna, LOL! He would probably say the same of you! :D
Sarah, I know! I know! It's the me not living next door kinda void right? :D
Devoid of voids, would the world still be an empty place…or one filled?
ReplyDeleteUncle Rush, It depends on what the 'void' is. :D
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the crazy doctor verbiage? Why do they have to say "void" instead of just good old urinate? Does it sound less embarrassing? Does it make them feel better to talk around that kind of stuff? I just dont' know. But it's silly, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteGinna, LOL! I know! I've a whole vocabulary (thanks to The Native's)full of words that mean urinate, pee, micturate, take a leak, water the flowers, write my name in the snow, and we'll just stop right there....but void? Nope. Hadn't heard that one before! It just doesn't have quite the ring to it that the others do...... I'm gonna go void my name in the snow.....see? It just doesn't work!
ReplyDeleteOh, you are funny. I need to void, I'm laughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteLori, So crying tears...is that another way of voiding? The void is puzzling me!
ReplyDeleteI knew exactly what void you were talking about. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved giving patients their "hats" and telling them to void in them; it really made for some comical looks.
What? Nurses have to do SOMETHING for fun...
Jody, I'm afraid if the doc. took out everything I'd ask him to there'd be nothing left. Nope! Don't need that.....don't wanna deal with that anymore. I don't care if it is a vital organ it gives me grief, take it out.....
ReplyDeleteOh, and while you're at it suck out all this fat too would ya?
Then again, if the doc did that my head would shrivel up and turn inside out. Better leave the fat. :D
Natalie, YOU would be a fabulous nurse to have. When I left the hospital the last time I took my portable 'throne', turned it upside down, and drew a face on it. (Turned upside down they look like a skull) I then put it on my pillow and pulled up the sheets. :D My good-bye gift to my nurses.
And I really have to keep up with this. Most blogs, you can check in a month later, and they aren't telling you much. Yours, I need to read three times a day, just to make sure you aren't having open heart surgery. It's a new world for you coming up, darlin' - a world of freedom. So that hat is appropriate.
ReplyDeleteJody, It would be my fat head you be seein' in all my pictures. :)
ReplyDeleteKristen, Oooooh! Good one!! I like how you tied that all together! No void in your noggin' that's for sure!
Turns out those medical people are very picky about the meaning of words. When I say a certain child has urinated, I get crossed looks because in fact such a thing is medically impossible - even though voiding is possible. If the bladder gets emptied, who cares what the process is called?
ReplyDeleteKathy, What gets me is they know exactly what you mean but they have to be so stodgy about "terminology". Pee. Urinate!!
ReplyDelete