Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Phew! That Was Close!

The sun is out.  Blue skies.  Beautiful January day.  I sit looking out of my front window enjoying the feel of warm rays on my face.  And then...... I see it.  They come out of the woodwork on warm sunny days like ants to a greasy fried chicken picnic. 

I'm watching as he approaches my neighbors house and creeps up her stairs.  I see him look over at the cooler on her front porch.  He bends down and slowly opens the cooler and peeks inside before slowly lowering the lid.  Reaching up he knocks.........

I spring into action.  I know he's coming for me next!  I grab a piece of paper and a marker and write a message.  After looking out the window to see if I still have time, I rip off pieces of tape, yank open the front door, stick the paper to it, and then slam the door holding my breath as I flop into a chair.  Phew!  That was close!


  1. I'd be tempted to call the police if I saw somebody opening that cooler. That's totally a violation of privacy and space. And it creeps me flipping out. Did the sign work?

  2. Kristen, I didn't because right after and I mean RIGHT after this happened, Mr. J sliced his hand open so I was in a flurry trying to take care of him and forgot all about the creepy solicitor who obviously didn't want to change Levi's diaper because he never knocked. Or maybe he didn't because he could hear the screaming and crying behind the door from Mr. J. I swear..... this kid is going to be the death of me!

    Thankfully, I know my neighbor is going to read this and she can proceed if she wants and I can back her up and confirm what happened.

  3. You know what the problem is? You don't live far enough from the road.

  4. Wooooow. The cooler thing is honestly just creepy. Also, if I saw that sign, I wouldn't knock either. XD

    Also, accident prone children sometimes grow up to be the BEST adults. Just--accident prone adults.

  5. I only store Christmas lights in my old Winder Dairy cooler. He was probably sad not to see chocolate milk.

  6. The kid with the scarfJanuary 28, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    I prefer the other NO Soliciting sign better.

  7. What a great sign! Maybe I'll put that on my door, even though it doesn't apply. Anything to keep those solicitors at bay! Especially since the simple "No soliciting" sign was ignored at least half the time.

  8. That is AWESOME! One summer our neighborhood was targeted like you wouldn't believe. I'm not exaggerating when I say there were nearly 10 knocks a day. So I made this sign:


    For those of you who plan to knock on our door anyway, under some other pretext, please read below for our definition of a solicitor:
    Anyone who is involved in a contest, trying to earn points, just here for reorders, taking a survey (which eventually leads to the sale of your product), here to “help” us with some lawn or pest control or other problem you’ve noticed, giving away “free” security systems or windows (we know about the monthly service fee) or IF YOU ARE TRYING TO SELL US ANYTHING, YOU ARE A SOLICITOR!

    ...and it worked.

  9. I think I might have taken it a step further and posted Levi on the front porch. Hey Dummy, I'm gonna throw a meatball at you head!
    Let Jaden answer the door. I'm sure he'll take care of things.

  10. ha ha ha!! I have two no soliciting signs that i have made on my door, and whenever i open the door for someone they're always laughing at them.... :)

  11. Probably the best--and likely the most effective--no soliciting sign I have ever seen!

  12. That's funny!

    It reminds me of our library--it had a sign up that read, "Unsupervised children will be given sugar and a pony."

  13. That was an awesome sign! I LOVE your wits! Some ppl would be so mortified to hang such a thing and open the door and offer cookies and coffee and unicorns and ponys.

    I've only had a few knockers where I live, and I know they must be desperate to come knocking way out here! It's kinda creepy really. And honestly, I have no sign. But I do have my .45cal pistol and 150lb German Rottie at the front door. I know they may mean "business" but so do I!

    Good for you!

  14. Virginia, I'd agree with you but I know you get them too!!!! :D

    Chazi, I'm surprised Virginia my sister didn't agree with you! ;P

    It was creepy watching him. A bit rude if you ask me, the snoop.

    Anony, Serves him right for snooping!! Next time put a pretend pile of poo in there. They have them ya know. :D

    Scarf kid, Yeah. That was a good one too.

    Chastina, That is what I found. "No Soliciting" isn't enough which would then make me REALLY mad! Then again, I still get the 'funny' ones who pretend they think my sign is soooo funny and they just had to knock and tell me so. Ha ha ha. NOT! Get off my dang porch!

    Gerb, I know! I believe you because we got hit just the same. That is when I quit answering my phone too. We had so many solicitors that the phone was ringing all day. Unbelievable. So I stopped answering. And amazingly, they've stopped calling.

    Love your sign. That is good!

    I had another pretty good one for last year as well. I'll need to see if I saved it on another computer.

    Sarah, Let Mr. J man the phones and Levi man the door! Good one! :D

    And it's "Hey fungus"!! or "Hey Dufus"!! We don't say dummy. :D

    Hanna, I know! I read yours everytime I come to your door and get a good chuckle. You did good!!

    Korrie, Now, if I were creative like you, I'd get out the stencil cutter thing and put it on some cute sort of antique piece of furniture and hang it on my front door...... instead, I'm me, so it is on a piece of paper scrawled in fast hand writing and slapped on my front door. :D

    Melissa, :D You know I'm not kidding!

    Anaise, I've seen similar signs like that and have loved the creativity. A nice way of telling people to keep an eye on their kids. Much better than the alternative which then makes me think the shop owners eat nails for breakfast lunch and dinner.

    Jody, Have you seen the movie, "Second Hand Lions"? Your comment reminded me of that movie. Cracks me up. Two old geezers sitting on their front porch with their rifles, making calls to sales men so they'll come out to the property, and then they shoot at the guy and laugh hysterically when the guy goes tearing out of the place. I can just see you with your .45 cocked and ready... Max by your side.....

  15. HAHA Yeah I have seen that movie. Cute show but kinda slow IMHO. I'm not quite that backwoods, but don't think I'v enot thought about it with a few of them who have come to the door! We have to get our entertainment somehow!

  16. LOL ~ THAT is the BEST "No Soliciting" sign... EVER! ;D

  17. Jody, Yeah. Agreed. But I do feel like those old men when solicitors knock on my door!

    Anony, Why thank you! So far, it seems to be working.

  18. very very funny. i'll have to try that next time! xo m.

  19. eco, You know, it is amazing! No one wants me to buy their stuff bad enough to change a nine year olds diaper...... go figure!

  20. I don't think anyone would want to sell whatever they've got quite badly enough at THAT price...

  21. Anony, It's a high price I pay every day. :D Good thing it is worth it.......

  22. ... No ones coolers are safe anymore...
    What if there was chocolate milk in there huh?!?!?! THE WORLD WOULD BE DOOMED!
    and i'de be missing a chocolate milk... -___-

  23. Jess, No chocolate milk. That would be tragic...


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