Pretending you don’t see the dog’s poop in the morning and feigning urgency to get to school, ensures that Mom has to clean it up.
Certain round vegetables shoved up a cow’s nose won’t stay there very long.
No matter how hard you yank on the reins, the horse will continue to turn in circles until you finally give up and let her head home.
Making Midge our horse pass gas walking up and down the driveway was our equivalent of a one, man band. And if you turned the horse just right, Mom was sure to get the full effect of the music.
Having to sit behind the saddle when riding Midge was much worse than being up front where the air was clear.
Braiding the horses tail too high will guarantee it will fall off.
Midge was a good listener if you tied her head close enough to the gate, if she didn’t yank it off the hinges first.
Sunbathing nude on the tin roof will burn you on both sides, although not from the same source.
The tin roof was also a great stage for fashion shows with the clothes in the barrels, which would just “accidently” fly off the roof never to be found again.
Smoking a whole pack of cigarettes behind the barn, trying to blow smoke rings and thinking it
will make you beautiful, will burn your nose, your throat, your mouth, and your lungs, not to mention the horrible case of the “flu”.
And, smoking plain grass and hollow tubes of paper is not quite the same as what other people say when they smoke grass and will result in terrible coughing fits, and younger sister not being very impressed.
Hiding in the top of the blanket closet in the upstairs bathroom isn’t as fun when you get stuck in there when dad has to use the bathroom. You had to lay as quiet as a mouse knowing if Dad caught you, you’d be dead.
Running downstairs to “shave” with Dad is much more fun than trying to do it on your own and realizing later that Dad took the blade out of the razor.
Playing sardines and hiding in the laundry in the laundry room was the favorite place to be.