Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

"Life on the Farm: Part Three"

Pretending you don’t see the dog’s poop in the morning and feigning urgency to get to school, ensures that Mom has to clean it up.

Certain round vegetables shoved up a cow’s nose won’t stay there very long.

No matter how hard you yank on the reins, the horse will continue to turn in circles until you finally give up and let her head home.

Making Midge our horse pass gas walking up and down the driveway was our equivalent of a one, man band. And if you turned the horse just right, Mom was sure to get the full effect of the music.

Having to sit behind the saddle when riding Midge was much worse than being up front where the air was clear.

Braiding the horses tail too high will guarantee it will fall off.

Midge was a good listener if you tied her head close enough to the gate, if she didn’t yank it off the hinges first.

Sunbathing nude on the tin roof will burn you on both sides, although not from the same source.

The tin roof was also a great stage for fashion shows with the clothes in the barrels, which would just “accidently” fly off the roof never to be found again.

Smoking a whole pack of cigarettes behind the barn, trying to blow smoke rings and thinking it
will make you beautiful, will burn your nose, your throat, your mouth, and your lungs, not to mention the horrible case of the “flu”.

And, smoking plain grass and hollow tubes of paper is not quite the same as what other people say when they smoke grass and will result in terrible coughing fits, and younger sister not being very impressed.

Hiding in the top of the blanket closet in the upstairs bathroom isn’t as fun when you get stuck in there when dad has to use the bathroom. You had to lay as quiet as a mouse knowing if Dad caught you, you’d be dead.

Running downstairs to “shave” with Dad is much more fun than trying to do it on your own and realizing later that Dad took the blade out of the razor.

Playing sardines and hiding in the laundry in the laundry room was the favorite place to be.


  1. Such fun and funny memories. I think we all need to walk down memory lane now and then. Makes us realize just how good we really did have it....even though it wasn't perfect. Nothing ever is!

  2. You kids sure kept your mom on her toes! So funny!

  3. I have always wondered why our family never had any animals. Then I found out about the pony my father had - well, it was his grandfather's and lived out on the farm in Kansas (Dad's mother would NEVER had allowed a pony in her fancy Kansas City yard). My dad hated that pony because it always bit him. If I had been a pony, and had known then what I know now, I would have bitten him too.

    His dad always had dogs - a long parade of them over the years. And my dad had dogs, too. So, why did WE not have dogs? I am going to ask that question the moment I pass through the veil.

    Here is what I learned ultimately about life and farms - through the experience of my immediate ancestors: no matter how fancy-dancy you hanker to be in the world, there's always somebody who's gonna pull the plug on your cockiness.

    Therefore: you will always, in one way or another, end up on the farm. Better to breathe it in and do the honest work than to try to pretend that you're only there on vacation and whine about the deal.

    in the end, you may THINK you've risen above the farm, but the same patterns run through everything, and you will eventually end up with your foot in a cow-pie.

  4. I love 'em! Reminds me of growing up in the country. Plus it's nice to know that my brother's and I weren't the only dumb ones who tried smoking grass in a cardboard tube!!!


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