I wasn't going to delve much into what took place this last week but I've had some thoughts that aren't a bad thing to be reminded of every once in awhile.
Having a disability to my health and no near future cure in sight is a bit to "overcome". For a year now I've had people concerned about my health and I've shrugged off their concern. I can't live in a bubble right? I'm indestructible. Aren't we all?
This past week I felt like the story of the little old woman who swallowed a fly who swallowed a........and on and on. One thing after another started to go wrong and as usual, didn't realize the seriousness of what took place until loved ones filled me in.
It's kind of tough knowing that anything can come along and broadside you. That all the defences I used to have are now down and the enemy has a pretty darn good advantage. Nothing like walking into and spending the night in the ER a year to date when you were last in the hospital fighting for your life to remind you that you know what? Maybe you aren't as invincible as you thought!
As I was walking into the ER last week I thought, "You have got to be kidding me! I already did this a year ago and look where it landed me"! I don't like that place.
The flu....which gave me a kidney infection....which has caused other complications which I am still trying to recover from. The kidneys aren't cooperating but I will have them know I am not one to be messed with. They'll listen. They have to because you know what? As I was laying in bed yesterday it truly hit me how fragile life is and I was near tears thinking about how I don't want my children to grow up without me. I thought if I could just make it until my kids are grown but who am I kidding? I'll want to see them with their kids....and their kids....
Not everyone gets that blessing and opportunity and I'm not saying that I won't. What I'm trying to say is it hit home pretty hard and I'm grateful for the moments that I have had, am having, and hope to have.
None of us are in charge. We don't know how long we'll get to be a part of each others lives here on earth so once again may I remind you, hug your kids, your spouses, your parents, your siblings, your loved ones, and let them all know how much you love them because none of us know when we'll be broadsided.
Finally. You get it.
ReplyDeleteNow you know why I have cried at night. What would we do without you? And why I've told you - you can't get this stuff. It's nice you're on the Keep Rachel team now. Finally.
I echo K's thoughts too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a truth filled post and excellent reminder.
We should also remember to tell our friends, so "I love ya, girl!" Keep that fighting spirit!
I think that we are all totally oblivious as we go through life and all the stupid stuff gets us all mad and we get upset at each other and we think we know what it is we want and what will make us happy. When really, all along, someone like Rachel Rubow comes along in our life and she really knows. She has had to think about the real thing. And we are blessed for knowing her. I think. I don't know anything about how hard this has been and continues to be...I know that you know how to love and you know how to fight and maybe even not fight too. I would just take it all away if I was in charge. I guess it is a good thing I am not in charge. I guess, all I am trying to say is, thank you for being here and for sharing your life with me.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I appreciate the reminder.
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post. It made me tear up. I know exactly what you mean about everything. We both have the challenge of an AHC kiddo and we both have a stupid disease to deal with. Even if we aren't going through the exact same things, we are both in the same boat. I was thinking today that I was so sick of being sick and just want to be healthy for my family. But you gave me a nice reminder that we aren't in control and have to cherish everyday to the fullest. Take care of yourself and hope that you get better soon.
Chrystal
Kristen, yaaa, I get it. At least I do today. :) I tend to have a short memory.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, You are correct. Our friends too and I love you too!!
Misty, you know, I don't know....I still have so much to learn and the truly irritating thing is that I have a really short memory so even when I think I know....things start to go smoothly and I forget....and then I have to be yanked up again by the back of my britches to remind me. My sister wrote an e-mail this morning that was great. She said that often our trials are our biggest blessings. When I'm not in those trials I totally agree!!! :D
Chastina, we all do.
Thanks Rachel. You're the best and bravest.
ReplyDeleteChrystal, yes, you do know. At least you're not alone right? :)
ReplyDeleteGinna, thank you but I am no braver than any of you who plow through life with your own trials and difficulties and with a smile on your faces no less.
I am reminded of this every day I see the photo on my counter...
ReplyDeleteI know Mr. Z.......no one is old enough to not need their mum. Why some of us are still here and others aren't to hold their babies anymore I do not know. I do know however that the Atonement is a beautiful thing and covers not only sin but all of our pain, sorrows, and sicknesses. If we can only but hold onto the bigger picture and know that this life is but a moment and thank goodness for the gospel and its sealing powers so that babies like you (yes, even grown boys are their mammas babies) can be together again. The ache in the arms and the pain in the heart makes it hard to believe that this time in life is quick. We just have to rely on that faith thing and take each day at a time......
ReplyDeleteSniff.
ReplyDeleteKathy, I got a tissue! :)
ReplyDeleteJody, I luv ya back!