Off with his head!......proceed with caution.....it's gruesome.

Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here today for and in behalf of Russ. Good ol' Russ. Happy ol' chap that he was.



Day after day since Easter he has sat here on this kitchen counter smiling even whilst knowing he was in captivity. Taunting the mother of this household.

Days went by...a week.....and still he sat as the mother kept telling her son, if she saw him there one more day she'd "take care of him". Yet still....he sat......until yesterday. The evil chocolate thirsty mother could not handle the taunting smile another day so when her son came home from school she dug into the bottom of her dirty barrel of nasty tricks and told her son, "If you do not eat that bunny he will MOLD! He will go moldy and then you will have wasted his chocolaty life!"

The son, being soft hearted and not wanting Russ to suffer any longer did what only a strong loving soul could do. He took Russ out of captivity, handed it over to his evil mother, and then turned his back not able to watch what was about to take place.

A rage of horror escaped from the evil mother's lips as she asked her son incredulously, "you mean all this time you have not wanted to do this yourself? Russ has sat here for OVER A WEEK taunting me and I the loving mother that I am have thought that YOU were saving him for your own......only to find out that you in a moment of WEAKNESS are staying away from sugar because you actually listen to your school teacher that told you not to eat sugar during TESTING TIME?"

"Ohhhh, lamentation of my wretched soul......what have I produced.......no son of mine could ever betray me thus........"



"OFF WITH HIS HEAAAAAAAD".





Please know that Russ went quietly. He was loved......to death. May he rest in peace(s).