I always thought I would make a great frontiers woman. A pioneer woman. I'm a pretty tough gal. I'm not afraid of hard work, roughing it, doing what needs to be done.
When I gave birth to The Natives no one told me or warned me of the pain I'd feel when my babies are in pain. Plenty talked about the joy! Oh the joy! Yes, much talk about that.......but not the pain.
This evening I looked at Mr. C (third oldest boy punk) and said:
Me: Mr. C, when you are rich and making millions of dollars will you remember that I am the best mommy in the world and take good care of me?
Mr. C: You mean you'd like me to buy your retirement home? (Falls off of his chair laughing hysterically at his own joke.)
Mr. C is twelve and a half. And if all I ever told you was the above.....you'd think he was a typical insensitive twelve year old.
Only.....he's not. Mr. C is sensitive beyond his years. Mr. C is the lover of bunnies.
Mr. C's bunny this weekend became very sick. As the weekend progressed the prognosis wasn't good. As I sat and watched Mr. C with his bunny my heart broke. His pain was mine. We nursed the bunny day and night hoping and praying that this little creature could fight and make it. Today as the day progressed it became obvious that the bunny was not going to make it and that it was suffering. Mr. C had to make the hardest decision of his little life. Which he did. Because he is sensitive and loves his bunny and didn't want her to suffer anymore.
Big brother took the responsibility on himself. Another sensitive soul who didn't want to see his younger brother suffer. Big brother and another sensitive soul down the street, two young men with a heavy burden on their shoulders took care of that which I, the one who thought I could be a pioneer woman, could not do myself. They did it quickly, quietly, painlessly, and with great dignity.
I'm not as tough as I thought. And as I sit with my twelve year old curled up in my lap, both of us sobbing.....and my sixteen year old trying to be stoic blinking back tears, I find that feeling your children's pain hurts far worse than your own pain.
And yet, I wouldn't give up these experiences that being a mother brings for the world......because these children are my world.
It's good to know that no matter how hard siblings might be on each other, when the chips are down...they're there.
ReplyDeleteThat's cool. We had a similar experience in our home a couple of months ago; only, before anyone here could get brave (only one day of waiting), a neighbor came in our house and "took care of things" while all but the youngest were out. That has always bothered me. It is so good to care, but also so good to have the courage to do what must be done. Good for your brave and kind kids!
ReplyDeleteYou are a great momma who is raising great kids.
ReplyDeleteOh no! Tell Mr. C I'm so sorry. I loved that little bunny and I can't imagine how you all must be feeling.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing big brother! Sorry to hear about the bunny.
ReplyDeleteyour kids are so fabulous. those boys. oh i love them. another boy story for today....now i am all mushy...
ReplyDeleteOh.
ReplyDeleteOh.
Ahhh!! I forgot to call this weekend. I have been utterly consumed with a parent that I am trying to not allow to make my life miserable. I will call soon.
ReplyDeleteSniff, sniff.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great big brother.
What a wonderful mother.
What a lucky Mr. C who has such great people around to share his grief.
so so sweet
ReplyDeleteUncle Rush ;), So true isn't it? They can knock each others teeth out but anyone else outside of the tribe and Oh Nellie! When one is down or suffering, it is very rewarding as a parent to see them all come together and be there for each other.
ReplyDeleteJody, We were too. Even right before the end we wanted to think she'd somehow pull through. It was an extremely tough decision for C. He said a prayer and that was the answer he got. I'm proud of him for accepting the answer and for being so brave.
Corine, It's part of the process of owning and caring for pets ya know? There's a lot of good but there's also that hard stuff that has to be dealt with. It's all part of it.
Gerb, Thankyou. I truly mean that. Thankyou because weekends like this past you wonder if you could have done things differently looking back.
Sarah, She wasn't a typical bunny was she? I realize it sounds silly to be mourning a "bunny" but so many people were drawn to her. And she was a part of our family. Not just some rabbit out in a hutch in the backyard. She played with the kids daily. And with your kids.
Chastina, He really is. I'm proud of him and touched at how he stepped up and took care.
Misty, I think they're pretty fabulous myself. I'm pleased with how they are growing up.
Kristen, Yeah.......sigh.....
Mae Mae, No worries. As you can see, we were tied up ourselves. Call when you can.
Natalie, Thank you. It is times like these that cement the bonds and make them stronger. It's rough but much good comes of things like this too.
Gina, That would describe Mr. C to a "t".
Who cries about a bunny?!! I just did. I'm feeling pretty silly. But, I know exactly what you mean. As mothers, we can withstand a lot of our children's cries, but there's a certain cry that breaks us.
ReplyDeleteLyndee, I know huh! That is what I kept telling The SM. It's a dang pet! And yet the tears flowed.....and I'm not a crier. It was the whole experience and the pain of Mr. C. I can handle most anything but when The Natives are in pain......not so good.
ReplyDeleteSo tough--such a rite of passage though, you know? It's one of those things that we all go through as children, and then again, inevitably, as adults and parents. And you are so right--I'd much rather experience the pain myself, a thousand-fold, than watch either of my children feel it personally. It just stinks. It only makes them stronger, though, and we can count them blessed in that.
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