As I dumped in load number I'm not gonna count because if I do I'll cry into the washing machine this morning I had a thought. Remember this post?
Here's the deal. I hear commercials all of the time for plastic surgery, lypo, lifts, and tucks. Well, I've been taught that being frugal is a good thing and I'm all about good things so I have decided to ask you for a favor since doing it myself would be quite difficult.
Would you please wash me? Yes, you heard right. Just throw me in the washing machine and make sure you put it on the hottest setting because when I come out I wanna be HOT! When the wash cycle is done toss me in the dryer. All I ask is that you throw in a nice dryer sheet because static cling with long hair is mighty obnoxious.
This part is really important. I'll pay you extra for this part. Don't let me sit in the dryer after the drying cycle is over. I don't want the wrinkles to set. You know what I'm saying? Just yank me out and slap me on an ironing board and this part is critical. Use the PERMANENT Press setting. Steam those wrinkles away.
Oh and one more thing. Starch. Heavy starch please. I'm hoping for major shrinkage in the wash and drying and what is left to all be pressed nice and smooth and starched quite firm for years to come.
Thank you. Peace. Love. And happiness.
Oh. And world peace. Of course.
Love it! I would like the same thing please! I'm sure it will be a lot more cost effective than surgery. And less painful?
ReplyDeleteHa! I love this, you clever little lady!
ReplyDeleteI will definitely look at my laundry today with a different longing.
I could use a good hot cycle too--wash away all the crud and yucks I've been building up over the last years. It would be NICE!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've read in past comments I'm guessing your husband already thinks you've gone through the HOT cycle.
ReplyDeleteI'm just saying...
Oh, Rachel--this was good. I like the way your mind works, girl. Clean and dry, pressed for good. And I feel your pain on the "load # I'm not going to count because if I do I'll cry..." although I'm sure yours is 5 times worse than mine. It does not end, and if you take a break you are DOOMED. I think I'm going to teach my 11 year old to do her own laundry because she's starting to get purty darn ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteChastina, Less cost effective? Yes. Less painful? Debatable. If it would work? Priceless.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, Longing for it to do itself? :)
Jody, I suppose it is not the wrinkles that I mind rather the rolls and dips that I mind. :D I will try to take your advice and show my trophy case that is oozing with trophies with pride! :D
Ginna, Wouldn't it be nice to be able to put yourself through a wash cycle. A wash cycle that could literally take all of the yuck and pain of our lives and wash them away! Oh wait! We do have one. The Atonement!!! :) I need to use that cycle more often.
Gerb, Gone. Yes. Gone. Come baaaaaack! :)
Lori, Yes do get your daughter to do her own laundry. When mine turn twelve I dance with glee and take them down to the laundry room and there they get the lesson on how to do their own laundry. And then I cackle wickedly and do a jig. After their lesson THEN I let them have their cake and open their presents.
Nice try. Let me know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteKathy, You didn't see the difference when I came over? :D
ReplyDelete"Oh, how I wish for wings," the falcon said to the cow pattie in the field. Which said nothing in return.
ReplyDeletewitty you are, but mean.
love,
she who is twenty three years ahead of you.
Kristen, Yes. I'm a cow patty asking for wings. :)
ReplyDelete