Dustclops

I have spent today near tears with a lump in my throat that I can't seem to swallow past. Why oh why does parenting have to be so danged hard sometimes?

This morning while getting my punks out the door to go to the zoo I noticed that Colin's bunny had died in the night. I am just sick over it and feel like it is my fault. We have kept the bunny in the house since the day we bought it but just a few days ago we put it outside and I think the heat got to it.

I didn't want Colin to see her so I rushed the punks out the door and pretended that everything was just dandy so Colin's day wouldn't be ruined. Meanwhile, I'm near tears and about to suffocate from the lump in my throat while pretending that everything is fine.

I had my friend Kristen come over while we were gone and take care of Dustclops. I didn't want Colin to find her. Now THAT is a true friend. Someone who will come to your house while you're gone and take care of a corpse.......

I still haven't told Colin........he has piano lessons and I know that he'll be a mess. I'M A MESS! The image keeps playing in my mind of Colin just yesterday walking around the house with his bunny snuggled up under his neck..........I know I'm going to have to tell him and it is going to kill me. Not till after piano lessons though.........

If I left for a week could someone else step in and tell my poor boy with the great big huge brown eyes that his mother is a murderer and when he's finally forgiven me.......let me know and I'll come back home........if he ever does forgive me...........choking on that big lump in my throat.....