So Kirsten and I didn't go topless after all. We started to.......but after looking at what my shirt covers I realized that there is a reason I need to wear a shirt. Seven BIG reasons. Punk number one......punk number two......etc. etc. etc. Man have they done a number on me. It was frightening!
Rather than inflict an evening of terror on Kirsten and what she has to look forward to after having babies we decided to keep our shirts on and go to the movies. We went and saw Wall-E. Cute film by the way.......
Our movie didn't start for over an hour and beings as we were at the mall!!! We decided to shop a little. I figured we'd wander from one end of the mall to the other and see what kind of trouble we could get into.
You know those little booth's..wagons....that are in the middle of the what do you call them? They aren't hall ways..........what the heck is that outside of the stores yet in the middle of the mall???? Honestly......I can't even tell a decent story here cuz I don't know what the heck to call where I was at!
Just humor me and pretend you know what I am talking about. You know those little booth's that are set up all down the hall ways and they are selling everything from cell phones to nose rings to hair extensions to life insurance for your pets.........ya.......those wagon booth thingy's.
Kirsten and I had hit a store or two and were meandering our way down the mall when this guy comes at me from one of those booths and asks me if I ever straighten my hair.
Oh come ON! Do I look like the type of person that spends that kind of time on myself? The answer is obviously NOOOOO!
First clue........I'm at the mall where every other female there has their nails done.....finger and toe nails......their outfits match and are clean......they are trouncing around in high heels shaking their bahooties.......flipping their hair salon hair do's over their shoulders as they shimmer and shake down the mall discussing which purse and earrings to wear with such and such outfit.
Me on the other hand am shlopping down the mall with a t-shirt on that probably has last nights dinner on it still, capri's that are several years old but they are comfy dang it and flip flops. I'm going for the grunge yet comfy look so why in the heck would I straighten my hair?
This doesn't deter him. Oh no. He is gonna fix that for me and "help me". Well for cryin out loud. If I need help that bad do you think I'm gonna get it from some little wagon booth thingy in the mall where everyone can witness some guy trying to yank a comb through my hair?
Come on! The guy was prettier than me and frankly I find that really irritating so NO. I'm not interested in your stupid product because there were fifty of us women walking past you and you stopped ME and asked ME if you could help ME with MY hair!
Okay.........so I looked in the mirror.......I know I need hair help........I've had the same hair doo doo for years...........wash it.....comb it........let it dry..........forget it.........
Not only do I need to wear a shirt to cover my multitude of sins but apparently I need to always wear a hat too........and shoes.........have you seen my toes? Now THAT is frightening.........I wonder if I bought his product if it would straighten my toes.......
Going to go to bed now and dream of scary men chasing me trying to do my hair. On second thought I think I'll just join the boogie man under my bed and we'll swap toe jam picking stories.....
I adore your hair, just the way it is. No changy, please. And I find those kiosk guys scary, too - just barging up to you, asking if you're interested in scripture cartoons or flying toys or whatever. You have to be rude just to counteract their rudeness, and they count on all us nice people desperately stopping to look pleasant, caught in that net . . .
ReplyDelete