Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

My bikin' days.

When Brian and I were dating we did a lot of biking. Both Brian and I had new mountain bikes and he being an avid biker and me wanting to impress him I pretended to be an avid biker as well. The first ride he took me on was a 20+ miler up in the mountains. We started out about midday because it was a pretty "easy" ride and he'd done it several times with his buddies no problem what so ever.

As we started I began to curse the uphill climb. Oh my legs ached.......I thought I was going to die and would we ever get to the top of the blasted mountain so that I could coast down and enjoy the ride? The agonies one goes through to try and impress the man she thinks is sexy and makes her world spin on its axles.

I don't remember how many times I had to stop and rest but lets put it this way. The sun wasn't waiting for me and it was getting later......and later......and later. We finally made it to the top of what I thought was the summit but again, me being of very little experience did not realize that when you ride in the mountains it is up and down and up and down and up and down the whole way and you NEVER REACH THE SUMMIT.

As we started to go down the first incline I quickly realized that going up was the easy part. That tiny speck off in the distance which made my heart go pitter patter didn't seem to realize that under our tires was loose shale rock that is impossible to maneuver and brake on.

I sat there rigid on my bike, my hands squeezing the life blood out of my breaks, teeth gritted, going urch urch urch urch urch down the mountain only to be met by yet another incline and the climb started all over again. Brian tried explaining to me that I just needed to relax, ride loose, and let it happen. Ya........let it happen. I'm gonna work on that. That ride took me well past midnight to finish and I'm sorry to say it was with me walking next to my bike. I guess I should have been more specific when I had told Brian that all of the riding I'd done in the past had been on paved trails. I was real good at those!

I have to hand it to Brian. He was very patient with me and didn't seem bothered in the least having to walk miles and miles in the dark with me off of the mountain. At least he didn't let me know if he was bothered.

He must have seen something in me because he invited me to ride with him again and took me up into the mountains yet again to tackle another trail. This one he assured me did not have any shale rock and was a very easy enjoyable ride. Once again we rode up and up and up and up and my legs were burning but I was determined not to make a fool of myself. I was gonna impress this guy or die trying.

We made it to the top and had a good time resting in some natural springs and then it was time to head back down. Brian took off and I followed after him busily coaching myself, just relax, loosen up, enjoy the ride, let it happen! My confidence started to build and I started to go faster and faster. I was having a great time! I thought, he is right! Nothin' to it! I was even keeping up with him! He is gonna be SO impressed now and happened. I let out a rip roarin' scream that tore my lungs apart. Brian thinking I was going to run into him sped up and rode into the sunset never to be seen again. For awhile at least.........and I..........I had hit a tree root that was lying in my path. That tree root was not there when we'd come up I promise you. Someone in the under world of cruel dating tricks had put it there with the sole intention of derailing me.

My front tire hit that root and instead of going over it cuz I was loose and relaxed remember???? It hit that root and went sideways and right next to the trail was a river. A nice cold full of big huge boulders river. My front wheel decided it was not going to enter that river so it planted itself firmly in the roots of that tree, the back wheel decided it had had enough carrying my big fat hiney of a lousy rider butt and catapulted me up and over my handle bars.

I've never been able to do anything gracefully. Flying through the air my feet somehow got tangled in the handlebars and brakes and I managed to bring that sorry excuse for a biker hater bike on top of me in the river.

My first impulse was to start screaming and crying but that would not help make any points in the department of impressing the sexy guy on the bike who........ where was he anyway? How does one be dramatic when one is all alone dripping in a river stuck under ones bike?

I quickly realized that amazingly other than a scratch on my head where my helmet slipped that seemed to be all there was to my injuries. Physically pride.........I think I saw it happily drifting away down the river sticking its tongue out at me.

At some point, Brian realized that I was no where behind him and headed back up the trail to see what had become of me. He rounded the corner and the look on his face was perfect. Wish I'd had a camera. Not that I'd have been able to use it because you see.......when you're alone what is the use of crying and carrying on but I had an audience excepting I couldn't cry. I don't know if it was adrenaline or what but I couldn't quit laughing. I was laughing hysterically and Brian kept asking me if I was all right with a look of horror and no humor what so ever on his face.

Back on my bike once again I did the urch urch urch urch urch thing riding my brakes the entire way down off of the mountain. I think after that trip Brian realized that if he wanted to go biking in the mountains to take his buddies..........if he wanted to ride on a nice easy paved trail making out from time to time he'd take me.

You know.......he kept asking me to go biking and not his buddies..........I wonder why that is?


  1. I love that story! I have a very similar one about roller-blading. Where I ended up with a mouthfull of dirt. So embarrassing. These guys are just so tough they don't understand that what they do isn't that easy for us girls. Right?

  2. It's amazing what we will do to impress a guy (especially the cute ones)! I know I made a fool of myself several times!

  3. I think what happens is, when you go through an amazing and violent physical trauma, but realize at the end that you haven't been really injured, the shock and relief come out in hysterical laughter. But when that happens, you really should be allowed to be done. Yay! Like, you should be taken straight from there to the lodge for a shower, soft slippers and a good book!


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