Making memories one day at a time.......and then I write about it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Put your hands up! I've got a library card!!!

This morning I had to run some errands. Since the price of gasoline is so high I try to consolidate as many as I can.

Some books that we had on hold were ready to be picked up at the library so on my way home I swung by to get them.

I felt very smug, warm, fuzzy, and wifely. One of the books was one that my husband had on hold and I imagined how he would react when I told him I'd picked it up for him. Ooooh, I'm such a good little wifey.

I had Colin with me. We grabbed our books and went to check out. At our local library they have these check out booth thingy's where you can check out your books yourself instead of standing in a long line waiting for an actual person to check out your books for you.......that is in theory......if all of your books will go through........which mine never not only do I sit and spend time trying to check books out myself with the machine thingy but then I get all irritated at the machine smacking it, calling it all sorts of names, and shoving my book through the scanner over and over hoping that maybe THIS time it'll go through...............never does. I then go and stand in the long line and wait for the library person to check out my books for me....

Today was no different. Two wouldn't go through wouldn't you know it. I took them to the front desk........waited in line.........and when I finally made it to the front was greeted by a dour faced young lady.

She checked out the one book to me and then informed me that the other book I was trying to check out was not in my name. I told her that yes, I knew that. It was in my husbands name and I was trying to check it out for him.

Ooooh, the power behind a badge. You know what I'm talking about don't you? Give a person a little power and they think they rule the entire library???? The chin jutted out and she wouldn't look me in the eye. No, I couldn't check out the book because I did not have my husband's library card!

I thought, you have got to be KIDDING ME! I am NOT going to make ANOTHER trip just to check out a book that I could check out RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M STANDING HERE.

She then told me, "well now you'll know in the future"! Ooooh heaven help us if this gal ever did get behind a real badge besides her library name tag.

Well, that is quite all right you little darlin' cuz I can play dirty too! And that is just what I did. I went behind her stiff little back and found a dear dear dear can I say dear enough? No, if you met her you'd be calling her dear and other affectionate names as well.......My dear librarian friend. I asked her if she wanted to be among the criminally minded and help me steal this book. Oh she is delightful.

I won't tell you all that she did because I do not want to get her into any trouble what so ever but lets just worries........the book will secretly be delivered into my hands under cover of darkness whilst a raging thunder storm is going on because that is when all criminal master minds do their best work! Or......when she'll finally get off work and get to leave the library but the other sounds more romantic doesn't it?

I did try to go back one last time to snag the book but that sniffer of a librarian hid it. She walked past me without looking me in the eye with her lips pursed and I swear I saw a wart growing on the tip of her nose.......


  1. you GO! What's with these lame rules anyway. It's like how I couldn't call up and deal with Kris's stuff at school because it was "private" are you KIDDING me?

  2. Lemme at her!! Lemme at her!! That's just the uppity kind of little spinster-brained, thin-lipped little rod-up-the-back, supercilious (i'm trying to come up with a noun that I won't regret seeing in print) sour-cream PUFFS who give librarians a bad rep. I hope some day she gets real impressed with me so I can narrow my eyes and say, "Forget the autograph, Miss Face - WHERE'S BRIAN'S BOOK?????????"

    I'm going to go chew leather.

  3. LOL, this is fabulous. I love having friends in HIGH HIGH places.....


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