Rotten apples

My older sis and I were talking about some of our memories growing up in rural MT and some of the things we pulled. Looking back, if one of our kids tried pulling the stuff we did we'd wring their scrawny little necks! I'm amazed that my sister's neck and mine aren't five feet long with all of the stuff we tried to get away with.



Do you know the song, "Do your ears hang low?" That was written by our father and all of us punks have a bad case of ears hangin' low from all of the times he had to pull on them to get us to straighten up. I hated that. I'd be walking along trying to look cool and some smart thing would fly out of my mouth and dad would nonchalantly put his arm around my shoulders and start tugging on that ear. That is why one ear hangs lower than the other. Seems he was always on my right when he'd go to yankin'.



Anyway, one day my sister and I were up in one of our apple trees. It happened to be a tree that was next to the dirt road that passed in front of our house when what do you know, an old bitty that we didn't like came a drivin' down the road on her way to our house. Our mother would sell the extra milk that we got from Bonny our milk cow to the neighbors. Actually, in all fairness to this lady we didn't NOT like her exactly. It wasn't her fault that her sons were on our "ewwww we can't stand you list". She hadn't done anything to us but being the mother of these sons who we didn't like, made her a target for our dislike as well.



As she passed the apple tree we started chucking rotten apples at her car and giggled hysterically when they made applesauce along her wood paneled doors.



She drove up our driveway, bought her milk, and then drove away while we continued to hide in the branches of our apple tree thinking we were the funniest and sneakiest girls. We were quite delighted with ourselves until we heard our mom bellerin' for us on the wrap around porch.



We climbed down and with looks of innocence on our faces, went to see what the problem was. Obviously, mom was ticked about something. We had no idea what it could be!



She lit into us and I'm sure her wooden spoon if it even lasted across both of our behinds has left permanent marks. I'd show you but it would be inappropriate. I have a scar that runs vertical on my hiney splitting the thing in two. I can only imagine a scar of such magnitude came from numerous spankings over the years.



Actually, I do not remember what our punishment was. My sister and I were too dumbfounded. We honestly could not figure out how that old biddy with the raunchy sons figured out that it was us up in that apple tree chucking rotten apples at her. We were sure we'd made ourselves invisible and what was even worse....... SHE RATTED ON US. If she hadn't caused us any offense before (other than birthing retched sons) she was really on our "we can't stand you" list!



When you live out in the middle of no where and "are too twisted for color t.v." (what is that line from????) and do not have t.v. you have all sorts of time to come up with ways of getting even............I wonder why our mom couldn't keep customers for very long..........