Gas

GAS! Yes folks you read correct. The title of this blog is gas. I want to talk about gas today. Why you ask?

It is simple really........this morning whilst lying here dejected on the couch, my stomach rumbling because it is STARVING, and my punks are still in bed so I can't pick on them to go and get me something to eat I've been reading the local news. The headlines being of course the rise in gas prices and what they are projecting by the end of the summer. Meanwhile, Levi's dog Julie is lying next to me passing horrendous gas. She has this amazed look on her face when ever she does so. What? You didn't feel that one coming either? My punks try using that excuse too when we're at the dinner table. "But mom, I didn't feel that one coming........it just slipped out!" Sitting around a table with six boys that excuse gets a little old and like Julie, they feign this surprised look before all dissolving on the floor in a fit of giggles. Julie at least can keep a poker face and gives me a look that says, "WHAT? sniff" She's not foolin' me though.......I can see right through her. I know a windbag when I see one.

If I make more than the usual spelling typo's it is because my eyes are watering and in between gasps of air after holding my breath, my laptop is bouncing all over my cellulite belly which used to be rippin' (hee, excuse the pun) before I had kids. I had the danged cutest belly button. We'll save that story for another day..........maybe. Coughing........gasping for air.............

Anyway, back to the gas situation at present. Our summer plans like everyone elses are of course affected by this lovely hike in gas. Gulp.......gasp........choke.......cough..........can't see........tears running down my face..........I stopped driving our truck long ago unless absolutely necessary and have walked or biked which looking at the baggage I have packed on my belly, thighs, and hiney this isn't all together a bad thing and since this mono garbage I've been too dizzy and weak at times to drive anyway! GASP! Someone open the windows pleeeeaaaazzzze.

Do you catch my drift here? (Sorry.....really bad pun's today.........) I know of some gas that is quite readily available.....choking.........getting blue in the face and green around the gills.........GASP...........need oxygen.............but can't afford the gas to get to the hospital.............passing out now..................